This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.
Now only Shining Bread is left.
Release format: MKV (263 MB, 10-bit)
Japanesiness: Honorifics. “Sensei” used. “kinpira gobo wrapped in bacon” used instead of “baconlicious stir fry”.
English style: American English.
Group website: http://ibsubs.jp/
Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/2pvAFF1m
8thsin’s translation critique: http://8ths.in/spring-2012-fansub-comparison-reviews#Nazo
Ji-hi’s screenshot comparisons: N/A
Table of Contents
Visual Quality
Karaoke.
Opening. The color scheme is all right for scenes like the first screenshot shows. But in scenes like the second screenshot, it’s hard to read that shit.
Ending. Mediocre.
Typesetting.
You know how much I care about this beverage already, so I’m letting y’all off with one screen. You lucked out.
Whoa, you got both titles in there? You guys~ <3
I do like how IB translated both things here, instead of translating “maru” as “bacon” like GotSpeed did.
Other.
I thought this was a nice touch (fading the text as the screen fades away).
I really, really, really, really fucking hate this font. Who the fuck is responsible for this abomination?
Script Quality
Karaoke.
Do you know what shadow figures are called? They’re called shadows, you fuckwits.
in -> with
In? I think you mean on.
Other than these issues with the ending, the karaoke scripts were decent.
Main Script.
You mean “figure”? “bodyline” isn’t a word.
Though each group has their ups and downs in the script, I’m really only going to talk about things that stuck out to me. This line, for example, doesn’t have the ring to it that GotSpeed’s “Today’s portion.” does.
IB’s gets straight to the point here while GotSpeed’s is much less obvious about what Urabe is trying to say. IB’s is much more clear, allowing for a better line.
GotSpeed’s version here is pretty bad relative to IB’s. The entire point of this scene is that Oka is clit-hard for Urabe and wants to be her friend. While GotSpeed’s version gives the impression that Oka wants to be Urabe’s confidante, IB’s version sticks with the friendship theme, which is how it should be.
The split should be
“My hand…”
“is bleeding?”
Reason being that until she looks at her hand, she doesn’t know anything’s wrong with it. So her first thought is going to be “My hand? What about it?” followed by “My hand is bleeding?” It’s easy to link these two thoughts together, but the split has to be perfect here otherwise it’s just gonna look like shit.
A skinned knee is not exactly a “cut” so this isn’t accurate.
“Even though you didn’t deserve it,
because of me, you were injured twice.”
IB did miss a chance for improving line flow by not replacing the second “Tsubaki-kun” in this sequence with “him”, but that’s not the most important takeaway here.
This comparison helps to illustrate the main reason why I like IB’s subs better than GotSpeed’s for this show: IB manages to directly state the things that are implied in GotSpeed’s subs.
Though intentionally vague lines can be a boon to certain scripts, Mysterious Girlfriend X does not benefit from leading lines or implied meanings.
You don’t take care for cuts. You take care of them. And like I said before, it should be “injuries” or something.
Witness the supreme power of semicolons!
I’m sorry;
I completely forgot.
Impressed? I sure as fuck am.
That’s not how commas work.
I thought GotSpeed’s version was confusing when I read it, but I just chalked it up to me not paying attention to the plot. Yeah, kinda hard for them to be “at first base” when “first base” is kissing and they haven’t kissed yet. Shit translation here, GotSpeed. Actually, this annoys me so much I’m gonna go back and knock down their script score a peg.
Thanks, IB, for a translation that makes sense.
It’s not had, it’s have. lrn2tense
Timing Review
Incoming. When “Timing Critique” is added as a category, you’ll know this part is done.
Results.
Watchability: Watchable.
Timing Grade:
Visual grade: C+
Script grade: B
Overall grade (timing results not factored in): B
While error management is an important part of script quality, it’s not the only thing that matters. Though it’s rare that I’ll recommend you watch a group that comes out with the lower score on my reviews, this is one of the circumstances where I’ll do so. IB’s phrasing choices tend to work better on Mysterious Girlfriend X, so I suggest you get their subs for this show.
>main reason why I like IB’s subs better than GotSpeed’s for this show: IB manages to directly state the things that are implied in GotSpeed’s subs.
Funny, I like how GotSpeed implies things IB says directly.
IB: Are you allowed to drink that?
GS: Is it okay to drink that?
The difference in these lines is negligible. Given the scene’s context, asking “Is it okay to drink that?” really only has one meaning. How could you possibly get any other meaning? Did you think she’s asking if it’s poisonous or something?
———-
IB: I will always want to be your friend.
GS: remember that I’ll always be there for you.
I don’t have IB’s script to compare, but here’s how the conversation goes:
Oka: Urabe-san, I want to become friends with you.
Oka: We can be friends, can’t we?
Urabe: I don’t need friends.
Oka: If you change your mind, remember that I’ll always be there for you.
IB’s line would be better if you didn’t have any other lines to set up the scene. In context, GS’s is better because it adds variation to the dialog while saying the same thing. And same as before, there’s only one way this line could be interpreted if you understand the context, and it’s not “her confidante.”
Plus, it’s never good to have a character repeat the same word three times.
———-
IB: I thought that approaching Tsubaki-kun might be problematic.
GS: but I figured getting close to him would be problematic.
Approaching him isn’t the issue. The problem is that she doesn’t want her boyfriend to see her get too friendly with other guys. You gave IB points for being more direct on this line, but it’s actually a detriment. “Approaching” doesn’t really give the impression that she’s going to be doing more than getting near him and saying hi.
———-
IB: You must not have gotten very far with Tsubaki-kun.
GS: Then you and Tsubaki-kun are still at first base?
Yes, this is an error and should be “Then you and Tsubaki-kun still haven’t gotten to first base?” These lines mean the same thing, but I much prefer using colloquialisms in dialog. It’s not as boring and it’s the way people actually talk. There’s nothing wrong with IB’s, but I prefer GS’s. It’ll be updated in GS’s batch.
———-
“This comparison helps to illustrate the main reason why I like IB’s subs better than GotSpeed’s for this show: IB manages to directly state the things that are implied in GotSpeed’s subs.”
Nothing was implied if you read the lines in context.
That last screenshot isn’t really a mistake unless we see the end of that sentence. “had tasted” is a perfectly valid tense formation – if that’s the tense you’re going for :D
I’d like to expand a bit upon what you said: “While error management is an important part of script quality, it’s not the only thing that matters.” You’re right… more right than you know, in fact.
If editing and QCing (well, I probably have an inordinate amount of power compared to QCs in other groups) were simply a matter of being grammatically correct, we could all probably just toss this shit at a computer and call it a day. You’re definitely right; phrasing is important, and so is making things flow. But beyond just flow management, there’s another important factor: one of getting the character across.
Ueno certainly can be forward when she wants to be, no doubt. But she’s not presented as a crass or blunt individual (certainly not in episode 4), and in fact is quite a sly person. So as Janice points out–yes, taken at face value, IB’s lines are certainly great and they should be commended for that. However, with the lines taken in context and keeping in mind Ueno’s character, I don’t think that there’s anything syntactically wrong with our choices.
I have no problem with you recommending another group’s release; that’s certainly your prerogative. But to go back and knock our script down to a B+ when IB’s is a B even after factoring multiple grammatical, word choice, and karaoke script errors (and setting aside the fact that you pointed out multiple stand-out things in GW’s review)… that action seems a bit disproportionate.
Ueno -> Oka
my brain on 3 hrs of sleep -> dead
First off, I didn’t say what you did was wrong. If I thought what you did was wrong, I would have mentioned it in my review of your release. What I’m saying here is that IB has lines that I enjoyed more than yours. This happened consistently enough throughout the episode that it left a significant enough impression on me to recommend their subs even though they are in desperate need of a quality check. We can argue over character traits if you want, but what it comes down to is that I felt that I had a better experience watching IB’s version than I did with yours.
Dropping the script grade after I review another group’s subs isn’t exactly unheard of. I do it with relatively regular frequency (heck, after one review this season, I went back and dropped three different groups’ scores down). It’s not disproportionate at all, although you kind of have to understand what a B+ means to me when I give it to groups. I consider B+/A-/A/A+ to all be in the “Excellent” category. That’s why B+ and above scores get special messaging for their Watchability score. Yours was on the tip of A-/B+ before this, and minor issues sometimes end up being the deal breakers. In addition, your overall score was a B+ before I adjusted the script grade back down, so the overall score stayed the same.
I do appreciate you calling me out on that, though. I don’t think I’ve had many opportunities to explain how I operate with grade revisions. If I had reviewed your subs at the same time, we wouldn’t have had this kerfuffle, so I apologize for my laziness which resulted in misunderstandings.
Is it fair to say that the Dark_Sage school of editing tends to value clarity and impact, with nuance as a secondary concern? That approach has its merits for subtitles, considering how (1) they appear on the screen for a limited amount of time and thus should be quick to grasp, and (2) written conversation tends to have less force than spoken words, so maybe some compensation can be effective.
I think it’s a bad idea for a lot of shows though, if you want to be more accurate with character portrayals and getting across the same tone a native speaker would get from the audio.
Anyhow, nothing new here.
I don’t disagree with you, but how else would you write that sentence?
Would you use a full stop, a semi-colon, or nothing at all?
Oh and
Yeah, but summer is starting and with it a new anime season! Your work never ends, eh.
>I don’t disagree with you, but how else would you write that sentence?
Pretty sure D_S is referring to “There” that’s capitalized after the comma.