Dark_Sage here with a timely anime season preview.

~Table of Contents~

Chart

Excellent

La Storia della Arcana Famiglia
Kokoro Connect

Good

Sword Art Online
Dakara Boku Wa
Campione!
Koi to Senkyo
Tari Tari

Shit

Joshiraku
Binbou-gami ga!
Ebiten
Oda Nobuna
Imouto ga Iru
Muv-Luv Alt
Hagure Yuusha
Jinrui wa Suitai
Natsuyuki Rendezvous
Chouyaku
Chitose Get You

Sequels

Kyoukai Senjou no Horizon II
Rinne no Lagrange Season 2
Dog Days’
Yuruyuri Season 2
Moyashimon Returns
Hakuoki: Reimei-roku

Summary

Chart

This is my modified Zeregate chart. Click it for a readable version.

Excellent

La Storia della Arcana Famiglia

A Battle Royale between well-dressed mafiosos. Excellent.

This is easily going to be the show of the season. Why? Cuz we’re subbing it of course. Every anime we touch turns to gold. See: Last Exile – Fam’s Wing, Dantalian no Shoka, Infinite Stratos, and– Oh… Shit.

I’m so sorry.

 

Kokoro Connect

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfmunTxdQ4Y

Okay, so this is the only “real” anime in my Excellent category. The 11 minutes of the show I saw were better than any show I watched in Spring 2012 (Kuroko and Sankarea weren’t far behind though), so if it can keep this up we’re looking at possible show of the year.

What really got me on the show was the character interactions. I’ve found that most shows are best enjoyed if you look at the plot as an excuse for character interactions. This is especially true with series that have generic settings — medieval “fantasy” worlds and high schools, for example. The characters are all likable and the their personalities mesh and collide in an orgasm of extravagant excellence. What I’m saying is the show is fucking witty.

If you enjoy good dialogue, you will enjoy this series. Of course, that means bad subtitles will severely affect your enjoyment of this show, so I’d suggest keeping an eye on this site for this show. I may be doing things a bit differently for it.

 

Good

Sword Art Online

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEMpsitzLIs

Gotta admit I’m pretty psyched for this one. An anime about an MMO where the actions in the MMO will affect people in the real world? This is such a great concept, I don’t know why anyone hasn’t thought of it before. It could be a game changer. We’re talking games, anime, novels, manga, apparel, assorted merchandise, etc. Sequels, even!

I for one am really looking forward to where they go with this. Good thing they got in on this early. Otherwise everyone would be talking about they wholesale copied another series and replaced all the characters with generic, boring, worthless wannabe clones of that series.

Here’s to originality!

 

Dakara Boku Wa, H ga Dekinai

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hsz0icNNvfE

This is so much more than just well-drawn fanservice; it’s fucking hilarious. Just read the manga and try to tell me you don’t like it.

Seriously, if you don’t like this shit, you need to drink some lighter fluid and play in a forest fire.

 

Campione!

The main character has the power of a god or something and blah blah blah it’s your typical swords-and-magic shounen. Haters love to hate shounen, but it’s usually because they don’t like action anime cuz “violence is mean”. These jerkoffs are the reason why we have slice-of-life anime. And yes, most slice-of-life sucks, probably because the intended audience is tea-sipping, vegan faggots who can’t have opinions until they pass before a jury of their peers, who are just more simpering, thoughtless dregs of society.

The show looks like a competent, entertaining shounen, and in the end, that’s all it takes for my time to considered well spent.

 

Koi to Senkyo to Chocolate

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRNvRDzpJmk

Romance anime are tricky to predict, but I’m gonna take a chance on this one and say it’s gonna be decent. Am I judging it almost solely on the cat girl? Yes. But cat girls are a valid indicator of a show’s possible quality. Name me one anime that has cat girls and sucked.

…well, I guess Shining Hearts had one. But my point still stands because I say it does. This is gonna be a decent show.

 

Tari Tari

Excluding Another, PA Works does good shit. You can assume the show will be polished, fun to watch, and very dramatic.

I think they’ll be playing this one a bit too safe though, so I’m holding off on pre-praising it too much.

Shit

Binbou-gami ga!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJmfXK4_qN4

Looks fine right? I’ve even heard it hyped as “this season’s Ben-to”. I’m sorry. It’s anything but.

 

What you’re looking at is a moral-centric comedy. Within the first five minutes of each episode, you’re gonna know exactly what will happen at the end of it. Here, let me spoil the first two episodes for you:

Episode 1: A girl is blessed with good luck, so a misfortune god comes down to take her good luck away in the name of “balance”. The god explains that because she’s lucky, others around her will suffer. In a completely non-contrived event, her butler (the only person she really cares about) is hospitalized. So the girl sacrifices some of her own happiness to make her butler get better.

Episode 2: Main Character-chan decides that she needs a boyfriend so she picks out a boy in class as her target because he’s handsome. So she goes to his house and finds out that he’s poor. In her infinite wisdom she throws money at the guy in an attempt to improve his situation. But he doesn’t take her backhanded charity well and she leaves his house on bad terms. But then — get this — the guy’s brother gets locked in a sewer and almost drowns until MC-chan sacrifices more of her good luck to save him. Wow, in this episode we learn that money isn’t everything and neither are looks! What a two-fer!

This show is basically gonna be an after-school special with very light slapstick comedy. Pass.

I originally wanted to sub this to offer viewers a valid alternative to gg’s outsourced English. Luckily we decided against this after Sutai didn’t want to compete with them because they once got a B on Aquarion.

01[20:12] <~Dark_Sage> Binbou/Storia taken by anyone good?
[20:12] <&Sutai> I heard something about gg doing binbou.
01[20:12] <~Dark_Sage> Quality overlap is meaningless
01[20:12] <~Dark_Sage> Oh good
01[20:12] <~Dark_Sage> Let’s do Binbou
[20:12] <&Sutai> wtf is storia
01[20:12] <~Dark_Sage> It’s a show for chicks
[20:13] <&Sutai> it was like fnord+vale tling.
01[20:13] <~Dark_Sage> It’s got bishies
01[20:13] <~Dark_Sage> So? It’ll still be C-tier
[20:13] <&Sutai> That’s not what I meant.
01[20:13] <~Dark_Sage> They’ve never escaped that except when their editor took 8 hours to edit on that demon show.
[20:13] <&Sutai> Or vale tling and fnord editing.
[20:13] <&Sutai> They got B on Aquarion.

Actually it was more that we wanted to do La Storia instead, but Sutai’s hesitation here was humorous.

 

Joshiraku

This takes the cute girls doing cute things genre a step farther by removing the “doing things” part. Basically, a bunch of girls sit around and talk. What do they talk about?

Yes, this is a show all about Japanese wordplay. Did you know that the Japanese character for “dog” looks like a person with a dog near it? Now you do, so I just saved you from 12 episodes’ worth of boring.

 

Ebiten: Kouritsu Ebisugawa Koubou Tenmon-Bu

Those are some really shitty character designs therefore the show’s gonna suck too.

Just wait and see how accurate I am.

 

Oda Nobuna no Yabou

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9PJciGkwgE

Sengoku Collection, Hyouka Rouran, and Sengoku Otome all had the exact same concept, except the girls in those shows were cuter. I’m just gonna go fap to Hyouka blus instead.

 

Kono Naka ni Hitori, Imouto ga Iru!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qpZ8AU34NY

So this dude wants to fuck a bunch of chicks, but one of them is his sister. What is he ever to do?

Oh boo hoo. Cry me a river, guy, then suck it up and stick it in each of them. You’ll never have another opportunity like this.

 

Muv-Luv Alternative

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ekgtWOSPgg

There’s a bunch of hentai out there for this series, so it’s gotta have some redeeming value. Unfortunately, everything I’ve seen and heard about this series points toward the opposite.

It’s got hot chicks in tight bodysuits, so it won’t be a complete waste of time, but I’m sure you have better things to do.

Oh, you don’t? Well, I guess that’s what the creators are banking on.

 

Hagare Yuusha no Estetica

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n2jv20An8U

Estetica has a very unpleasing aesthetic. Its girls look like men and its men look like caramel-covered pudding beasts.

My simple issue is this: Hagare is an ecchi anime. Its sole purpose is to provide a vehicle for men and women to get off. But if the characters are hideous, that’s not gonna happen.

“But Dark_Sage, what’s wrong with ugly girls? Are you saying you won’t masturbate to them? How racist! And sexist!”

Sorry, tubbo, my dick is not an equal-opportunity employer. This show is gonna fail at its primary purpose. Its only saving grace is that I’m slightly interested in the action. But only slightly; certainly not enough to go in all the way.

 

Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita

Looks kind of very boring. ~Skipped~ {Note: I can’t actually “skip” shows anymore, but if I were able to pick and choose which anime to watch in a season, this would not be one of them.}

 

Natsuyuki Rendezvous

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oDCox3Izl8

A guy falls in love with a girl but the girl’s in love with a ghost. From the picture I posted, guess if that’s the man or the woman in question.

Yeah, this shit’s gonna suck.

 

Chouyaku Hyakunin Isshu: Uta Koi

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMSuUUWwe8o

 

Oh, a love story set in the past. How romantic! …and boring.

But I suppose I’m not a lonely, middle-aged woman, so perhaps I’m not the target audience for this show.

 

 

Neibs has informed me that this is actually 50 episodes of 2 love stories per episode. I am still not interested.

Chitose Get You!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-eGLcc0bus

Some shitty loli comedy. No.

Sequels

Moyashimon Returns

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFR12n77U8U

I assume none of you have watched the first season, so I’m gonna pretend this is a new anime.

From the manga volume I read, Moyashimon is a toned-down Hen Zemi. For those familiar with that terrible series, you will be instantly repulsed. For those of you not familiar with that series, know that you should be repulsed.

The basic gist is that a guy can see germs (who are shown as cute things) and has wacky hijinks in an agricultural college. Wacky hijinks like drinking a bird’s intestines out through its anus. Through all the poop jokes, the viewer can learn things about different germs. It’s as terrible as it sounds. Skip this shit.

 

For the other sequels, you should know whether or not you’ll like them based on the first seasons.

Summary

There is no summary. Read the fucking post you lazy, worthless cunt.