This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.
Finally, a good shoujo. (And Commie’s version of it isn’t half-bad.)
Table of Contents
Release Information
Episode details.
Release format: MKV (282 MB, 10-bit)
Japanesiness: No honorifics.
English style: American English.
Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/fFEhM4xa
Speed: Quick (<48 hours)
External links.
Group website: http://commiesubs.com/
IRC channel: #[email protected]
SubCompare screenshot comparisons: http://www.subcompare.com/tonari_no_kaibutsu-kun
Commie’s fansub reviews: http://notredreviews.wordpress.com/autumn-2012-reviews/
Visual Review
Karaoke.
OP. Only the OP airs this episode.
The translation here attaches itself to the credits and it… works. It works so well.
Rating: Great.
Typesetting.
I’d have liked to seen this translated, even for just the title. But considering the quality of the other signs in this release, this isn’t a cause of much consternation.
I enjoyed herkz’s typesetting although I think it could use a bit more focus.
Script Review
Karaoke.
There’s nothing I particularly feel a need to bring up here.
Main Script.
Let’s get some fucking natural speech up in here. High school students aren’t going to whisper about scary people; they’re not ten years old. Try something like “They say he hangs out with a rough crowd.”
Considering Crunchyroll had this as well as Commie and FFF, I’m gonna consider this a legitimate translation. This is all resting on the assumption that those groups were competent and had a TLC check this to make sure it checked out.
Operating under that assumption, this line needs some help. “I rape you” doesn’t really follow the “Make one peep” part… at all.
“Make one peep and I’ll rape you.” is more reflective of human speech.
“imprinted sentiment” is not a thing. The translator just made this shit up.
“Y-You’re probably mistaking something else for what you think is love.”
You don’t “solve” questions; you answer them. Problems (among other things – like puzzles) are what you solve.
“I gave up on a problem I couldn’t solve.”
first-year class. Yes, “first-year” is an adjective modifying “class” here.
A few seconds of line placement could have moved the subs out of the way of the credits.
Results
Watchability: Definitely watchable.
Visual grade: A
Script grade: B+
Overall grade: A-
Beyond a few necessary fixes, the only things Commie changed up with the script were:
1. Added plenty of cussing and slang (going to -> gonna).
– Bitch if you want, but this isn’t “wrong” per se. Don’t like it, don’t watch this release. FFF/Crunchyroll have less profanity.
2. Removed Crunchyroll’s double-spacing.
3. Removed honorifics.
Altogether, it was a very light edit and not one I feel is particularly worthy of praise. However, I’m not here to grade the amount of effort Commie’s editor put into the script. My concern is with the end result, and overall it was a good script. Combine that with excellent visuals (which are deserving of praise) and you have a tough combination to beat.
But high school boys never cuss, silly Dark_Sage.
Back in high school, I used to swear quick and dirty.
>Make one peep and I rape you.
It’s probably not correct English, but I hear things like this pretty often, such as “move and I shoot you”. I’d vote towards colloquialism.
I’m more suss of the ‘make one peep’ bit, to be honest, although I suppose there’s nothing really wrong with it.
>first-year class. Yes, “first-year” is an adjective modifying “class” here.
-Why doesn’t “high school” get hyphenated for “student”? So you mean that the school student is high?
That’s actually a damn good question. You may skip the hyphen when the whole phrase is especially common. One could argue that “first year class” is common enough that you could skip the hyphen, however in the rest of the episode “first-year” is used with a hyphen to describe “student” and “speaker” and I would argue “first year student” is much more common to hear than “first year class” (according to Google, it’s by a factor of five), so then it becomes a matter of consistency.
Unlike “first year” (which in the noun “year” qualified by the ordinal “first” functioning as an adjective), “high school” is an actual noun in and of itself.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/576/01/
First rule: ‘two words’.
And what if I was trying to say the school kid was indeed high? Generally, the last two words serve as the noun and the first serves as a modifier unless it’s hyphenated.
Although I’m not sure “imprinted sentiment” would be the correct way of saying it, the line is actually kind of clever.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imprinting_(psychology)
It’s not too much of a stretch to see a school-obsessed chick making a reference that out in this situation.
Maybe it was just a Twilight reference…
Have to disagree that this is a good shoujo. It sucks.
Shut the fuck up. Your taste and yourself is what suck.