This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.
Commiefest 2012 continues!
Table of Contents
Release Information
Episode details.
Release format: MKV (300 MB, 10-bit)
Japanesiness: No honorifics.
English style: American English.
Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/Kpj2daHi
Speed: Quick (<48 hours)
External links.
Group website: http://commiesubs.com/
IRC channel: #[email protected]
SubCompare screenshot comparisons: http://www.subcompare.com/zetsuen_no_tempest/
Commie’s fansub reviews: http://notredreviews.wordpress.com/autumn-2012-reviews/
Visual Review
Karaoke.
The ending (well, the opening) is in English. The subs for it were hardsubbed by the animation company.
This is the actual ending. Xythar mentioned on IRC that he thought it was awesome, so I cursed up a storm and thought about scrapping this review and reviewing another episode. Then I realized I could just shoehorn the ED into this review because fuck the rules, I’m Dark_Sage.
Note: The pink stuff is hardsubbed.
While I can see the love someone might have for this, I don’t share the same sentiment. See, I like to read my karaoke. (Crazy, I know.) But it’s kind of hard to do that when the script gets caught up in the credits. The color changes were great, and the idea was inspired, but the sub placement left a lot to be desired. Is it so much to ask that the subs not merge with the credits in a tribute to unreadability?
The second screen I posted is the only point in the ED where this might be difficult to do, but you could drop it down above the pink kanji for this part and make it still work.
This would be damn good karaoke for a creditless version, but as it stands it’s not as impressive as it could be.
Rating: Okay.
Typesetting.
Script Review
Karaoke.
N/a.
Main Script.
How fucking hard i’s it to understand how to use apostrophe’s?
Commie actually introduced this fuck-up into the script. Nice job, editor-kun.
Should be Defense Forces’
Digging the language use.
“And it is Fuwa…”
Accent required to reflect natural speech.
Get the tenses right. Also, based on my knowledge of the show through my reading of the manga, the line’s probably something closer to:
“If he’s still alive, he’s probably trying to kill someone right about now.”
He’s not a mass-murderer; he’s a man on a mission.
Delish.
“So, Fuwa Mahiro, you really did meet with a mage.”
I keep harping on this because accented words are important.
And… fuck. I thought I’d have more errors, so I didn’t keep track of the good lines. Well, let’s fill in space with editing talk!
Commie edited the fuck out of this script, whereas Tsuki did not.
This shows the differences between Commie’s script and HorribleSubs’ for episode 1. Colors indicate differences while white backgrounds indicate each script had the same line.
And here’s Tsuki’s.
Just from a quick look you can tell which group put the most effort into editing this. And because I don’t often talk about editing in this fashion, let’s get into it now. What I liked about Commie’s edits:
Replacing stiff dialogue with natural dialogue
It is none of your business, Mahiro. -> Mind your own business, Mahiro.
Removing needless repetition
she’ll be unable to acquire the offerings she requires to use magic. -> she won’t be able to acquire the offerings she needs to use magic.
Fixing vagueries
Without Mahiro around, he’s just a guy. -> But without Mahiro around, he’s just another guy.
Using what is known as “human English”
Does he think himself superior? -> Does he think he’s better than us?
Adding a touch of class
My friends call me Fraulein Yamamoto. -> My friends call me Fräulein Yamamoto.
I could go on and on about the fixes that I thought were good (and I could talk about the changes I felt weren’t as good if I wanted to), but the point is that Commie’s editor added in his own style to the script which made it more natural and enjoyable than the base Crunchyroll script, and that’s what an editor needs to do. Whoever was on Tsuki’s script didn’t edit so much as they QC’d. And while that can lead to an error-free script, it doesn’t necessarily lend itself well to a good one.
That’s the principle reason why I thought Commie’s script stood out more on this show than Tsuki’s did, and it’s why I’ll recommend Commie’s release over Tsuki’s.
Results
Watchability: Quite watchable.
Visual grade: B
Script grade: A-
Overall grade: B+
>recommending commie
You’re not allowed to do that!
This isn’t what I paid for, damn it!
There something wrong with inverting ‘think’…?
“Does he think himself superior?” is archaic in a manner that doesn’t fit at all.
“Find her killer and punish them yourself?”
Since ‘killer’ is singular, ‘them’ should be changed to ‘him’ (or ‘her’ if you want to get technical, but usually, if you were to think of a murderer, you would think of some middle-aged man with unshaven facial hair)
Yes, but “them” is so commonly used in the singular form as well that I wouldn’t be surprised if they started teaching it at such in English textbooks soon. This isn’t a research paper; it’s how people speak. And people speak by using them as a gender-neutral singular.