I hate every group that worked on this show, holy shit. (Edit: Poll added)

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1. Translation Parties are intended to help you make the best subtitle choice for a given anime. Choose which line(s) you liked best by selecting them with the checkbox.

2. If you didn’t like any of the lines, choose the last option — it corresponds to a “N/A” choice.

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4. Group order is randomized for each screenshot, every time you refresh the page. The only option that is static is the “N/A” choice, which will always be at the bottom.

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6. Party hard.

 

Bakemonogatari – Episode 01

Comparisons: 19

Participants:

qIIq (THORA-qIIq)

Koharubi (Coalgirls)

gg (ANE)

Aniplex (that shitty $150 blu-ray box)

Codes:

{\i1} indicates the start of italics

{\i0} indicates the close of italics

{\b1} indicates the start of bold

{\b0} indicates the close of bold

{\an8} indicates that given piece of text appears at the top of the screen

 

1.

All Koyomi.

qIIq :: {\i1}Was it the correct decision to not let her fall?
{\i1}No, that was probably a mistake.
{\i1}Why was it a mistake?
{\i1}That was because her body was really,
{\i1}even absurdly, light.
{\i1}That girl, Senjougahara;
{\i1}it was like she didn’t have any weight at all.

Koharubi :: I was right in not avoiding her… wasn’t I?
No, maybe it was a mistake.
Because her body was extremely, and unreasonably, light.
That’s right. For her, Senjougahara,
the thing called weight… did not exist.

gg :: Not ignoring her was the right decision… I think.
No, maybe I’m wrong.
Why, you ask?
Her body is extremely…
Absurdly light…
Correct, you could say that Senjougahara has no such thing as mass.

Aniplex :: {\i1}A better decision than dodging,
{\i1}wasn’t it?
{\i1}No, actually, that might have been a mistake.
{\i1}Because,
{\i1}her body was very… tremendously light.
{\i1}That’s right.
{\i1}This girl, Senjyogahara,
{\i1}had almost no weight, or anything that could be called weight, to speak of.

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

2.

Koyomi talking to Tsubasa.

qIIq :: Well, you know, Senjougahara Hitagi is kind of a strange name; isn’t it amusing?
>Senjougahara is a famous surname.
Oh, um, it’s not that,
what I’m saying is more like, her given name…
>Isn’t Senjougahara’s given name Hitagi?
>Is it really that strange?
>”Hitagi” is construction workers’ slang, isn’t it?

Koharubi :: Besides, don’t you agree that the name {\i1}Senjougahara Hitagi{\i0} is very strange and fascinating?
>Senjougahara… that surname comes from the name of a place.
No, not that.
Rather, I meant her other name…
>Senjougahara’s given name is… Hitagi, correct?
>Is there anything as strange as that?
>”Hitagi” sounds like civil engineering jargon.

gg :: Don’t you think “Senjougahara Hitagi” is a weird and interesting name?
>Senjougahara is a place name.
No, that’s not what I meant…
I’m talking about her first name.
>Senjougahara-san’s first name is Hitagi…
>What’s so weird about that?
>If I recall correctly, “Hitagi” is some civil engineering term.

Aniplex :: Well… and besides,
don’t you think Hitagi Senjyogahara is an unusual and fascinating name?
>Senjyogahara is a geographical name.
Uh… um… That’s not what I meant.
I’m talking about, uh, her first name, you see.
>Ms. Senjyogahara’s first name is Hitagi, right?
>Is that really so unusual?
>Isn’t Hitagi a civil engineering term, if I’m not mistaken?

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

3.

Tsubasa talking to Koyomi.

qIIq :: Though I shouldn’t be saying this,
Senjougahara…
>What?
The way she is now,
is much prettier than her former self.
Her existence is
really ephemeral.
>{\i1}Ephemeral existence, huh.

Koharubi :: Maybe it’s inappropriate to say this, but Senjougahara-san…
>What?
…looks more beautiful now than she did in the past.
A fragile existence.
>”A fragile existence”?

gg :: Maybe I shouldn’t say this, but….
Senjougahara-san…
>What?
She’s much prettier now than she was before.
Her existence is so delicate.
>Her existence is so delicate…

Aniplex :: I’m sure I shouldn’t be saying such a thing, but…
Ms. Senjyogahara…
>What?
Is far more beautiful now than she was before.
She’s such a…
Fragile being…
>{\i1}A fragile being…

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

4.

All Hitagi.

qIIq :: Don’t move.
Ah, that’s incorrect.
It’s more like “it’s alright to move, though it’s really dangerous”.
Curiosity is a cockroach-like thing.
Just because it’s a secret you don’t want to share, people gather and crawl on it.
It bothers me so much, I can’t stand it.

Koharubi :: Don’t move.
Ah, I said that wrong.
You’re free to move, but doing so will be very dangerous.
That’s what I meant to say.
Curiosity… such a thing can be compared to cockroaches.
It swarms around the secrets that one doesn’t want others to know.
It’s truly frustrating.

gg :: Don’t move.
Oh, my bad.
I mean, you can move if you want, but it’d be very dangerous.
Curiosity is like a cockroach.
It likes to stumble upon secrets that’re supposed to stay hidden.
It’s pretty damn annoying.

Aniplex :: Don’t move.
Oh, my mistake.
“You can move, but it will be very dangerous,” is what I really should have said.
This thing called curiosity… it’s just like cockroaches, isn’t it?
They come to swarm around the secrets you don’t want anyone to know.
It’s beyond annoying.

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

5.

All Hitagi.

qIIq :: Based on my height and build, I should weigh around 40 kilograms.
But, in reality,
it’s 5 kilograms.

Koharubi :: According to my body shape and height, my average weight should be in the range of 45 kg and above.
But my actual weight is…
…5 kg.

gg :: According to my height and build, I should be around 45 kg.
But my actual weight is…
5 kg.

Aniplex :: The average weight of a person of my height and build
should be over 45 kg, or so I’m told, but my actual weight is…
5 kg… (11Ibs)

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

6.

All Hitagi.

qIIq :: It happened between graduating from middle school and entering this school.
I {\i1}met one crab{\i0}.
Weight itself was taken from me.
Oh, you are not required to comprehend it.
It would be a big annoyance for me if you were to continue to sniff around, so I am telling you just this once, Araragi.

Koharubi :: It happened after I graduated from middle school and before I started high school.
I met a crab.
It completely stripped me of my weight.
It’s forgivable even if you don’t understand it.
I’m only telling you this since I find it inconvenient for you to stick your nose into it any further, Araragi-kun.

gg :: This happened before I entered this high school.
I met a crab and it took away my weight.
It’s all right if you don’t understand.
I’m just telling you because it’ll be troublesome if you keep on sniffing around like that,
Araragi-kun.

Aniplex :: It happened after I graduated middle school,
and before I came to this high school.
I encountered a single crab…
Who stripped me of all of my weight.
Oh, there’s no need for you to understand.
I only told you because it would annoy me if you were to snoop around any more.
Araragi.

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

7.

All Hitagi. Last line is Koyomi.

qIIq :: Well then, Araragi, properly ignore me from tomorrow onwards.
I await your cooperation.
>Devilish girl.

Koharubi :: Then, Araragi-kun…
As of tomorrow, you are to ignore me, got it?
I’m counting on you.
>She’s exactly like a monster.

gg :: Now then, Araragi-kun.
Ignore me from tomorrow on, okay?
Please.
>She’s the devil.

Aniplex :: All right, then, Araragi…
starting tomorrow, please remember to ignore me like a good boy.
I’m counting on you.
>That girl’s like a demon.

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

8.

All Hitagi.

qIIq :: I am amazed.
No, I should be saying I’m really astonished.
Gaining your fighting spirit right after I did that to you.

Koharubi :: How ridiculous.
No, I suppose I should say, “I’m surprised,” right?
I never thought that you’d be able put up such resistance after suffering from that sort of treatment.

gg :: I’m amazed.
Actually, I should really say I’m surprised.
I never thought you’d show resistance so fast.

Aniplex :: I don’t believe this.
No, actually I should just admit that I’m astounded.
To think that after all that you were just put through,
you were able to summon some of your rebellious spirit so soon.

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

9.

Hitagi talking to Koyomi.

qIIq :: Oshino Meme…
Somehow, he sounds kind of moe.
>He won’t live up to your expectations.
>He’s middle-aged, over 30.
I see. But he definitely was a moe character when he was young.
Don’t look upon living people like that.

Koharubi :: Hmm… Oshino Meme?
The name sounds very moe.
>You’d be deceiving your feelings if that’s what you’re anticipating.
>He’s a 30-year-old uncle.
Ah, I see.
But he must have been moe when he was young.
Don’t use an approach like that to visualize real people.

gg :: Oshino Meme?
His name sounds pretty moe.
>Getting your hopes up is pointless.
>He’s some thirty year old guy.
I see.
But he was a moe character when he was small, right?
Don’t look at someone 3D like that.

Aniplex :: Hmm, Meme Oshino, eh?
Somehow it sounds like quite a moe-prone name, wouldn’t you say?
>You’re wasting your time if you’re getting your hopes up.
>Because he’s a grizzled old middle-aged man over 30.
Oh, is he now? But I bet as a child he was quite the moe character.
Don’t look at actual human beings that way.

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. Oh god, Dark_Sage, you didn’t edit *that* line did you? (Such shame.)

 

 

10.

Koyomi talking to Hitagi.

qIIq :: Hey, you understand what {\i1}”moe”{\i0}and “character” are, don’t you?
>It’s a part of general education.
>A character like mine is called {\i1}”tsundere”{\i0}, isn’t it?
{\i1}A character like yours is more like tundra.

Koharubi :: Speaking of which, do you understand what “moe” and “character” are?
>They’re part of general education.
>A character like me is known as a tsundere, am I correct?
It’d be more fitting to refer to you as a tundra.

gg :: Wait, do you even understand what “moe” and “character” mean?
>Those terms are basic knowledge.
>I guess my character is what people call “tsundere”, right?
Your character is what people call “tsundra”.

Aniplex :: Anyway, are you sure you’re the kind of person who knows about moe and characters?
>This is all in the realm of general knowledge.
>You would call a character like myself a “tsundere”, wouldn’t you?
{\i1}A character like you? Tundra is more like it.{\i}

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

11.

Hitagi talking to Koyomi.

qIIq :: My butt is sore. It’s all numb.
My skirt is creased too.
>That’s not my fault.
Don’t run away from it. I’ll cut it off.
>What part of me?!

Koharubi :: My butt hurts. It feels numb.
My skirt is also crumpled.
>That’s not my problem.
Don’t push your responsibility. Be careful or I’ll chop it off.
>What part will you chop off?

gg :: My ass hurts. It’s all numb.
And my skirt is wrinkled.
>That’s not my fault.
Don’t make excuses or I’ll cut it off.
>Cut what off?

Aniplex :: My behind hurts. It stings.
And now my skirt’s all wrinkled.
That’s not my fault.
>Don’t you cop out on me.
Or I’ll chop it off!
>Which part would you chop off?

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

12.

All Koyomi.

qIIq :: Oshino is a somewhat strange old man,
but he’s my benefactor for now.
And I can’t let dangerous people face my benefactor,
so I’ll take care of your stationery.

Koharubi :: I’ll hold that stationery for you.
I’ll guard it. Hand it over.
Oshino is said to be a weird uncle.
Even so, he’s still my savior.
I can’t let him meet someone dangerous, so let me keep that stationery.

gg :: Oshino might be a weird guy, but I consider him to be my savior.
I can’t let some dangerous person meet with my savior,
so let me look after your school supplies.

Aniplex :: Oshino is, how should I say it? He’s a weird old dude,
but he is my savior.
I can’t introduce my savior to a dangerous entity,
so I’ll hold onto the stationery.

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

13.

Hitagi talking to Koyomi.

qIIq :: If I don’t keep contact every minute, five thousand of my thuggish friends will attack your family!
>It’s okay… You worry too much.
Is one minute enough for you?
>Am I some boxer to you?!

Koharubi :: My five thousand barbarous comrades are stationed to attack your family if they don’t receive contact from me every minute.
>It’ll be all right. Don’t worry.
You say a minute is enough to do {\i1}it{\i0}?
>You think I’m some kind of a boxer?

gg :: I have 5000 grunts. If I were to go for a minute without contacting them, they would go and attack your family.
>Everything will be fine, don’t worry.
You mean a minute’s enough?!
>Do you think I’m some boxer?!

Aniplex :: Listen. If I don’t report back every minute,
my five thousand uncultured comrades have orders
to launch an attack against your family.
>It’s all good, I’m telling you… No need to worry.
Are you saying that one minute would be sufficient?
>What am I, some kind of boxer?

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

14.

Hitagi talking to Koyomi.

qIIq :: Does it hurt when you’re told that being immortal has benefits?
>Not anymore.

Koharubi :: If I said, “Being undead is just so convenient,” would you be offended?
>Right now… I wouldn’t.

gg :: Does it hurt if I say being immortal is convenient?
>Not anymore.

Aniplex :: When people ask, “It must be convenient to be immortal,” does it hurt?
>Right now… not so much.

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

15.

Hitagi talking to Koyomi.

qIIq :: I may not look that way with clothes,
but my body is, surprisingly,
not worth the jail time.
>You know,
>generally you’re either overly self-conscious
>or your persecution complex is a little too far.
It’s not like that.
There are both good and bad things you want to say as long as they’re true, aren’t there?
>She’s aware of it?!

Koharubi :: Perhaps it’s difficult to tell from my clothes,
but my body might not actually be worth the price you’d pay for committing a crime.
>How should I say…? On the whole, you seem to be overly self-conscious.
>In other words, you have quite a persecution complex.
How rude.
Be that as it may, there are things you should and shouldn’t say.
>So you knew?

gg :: You might not be able to tell with my clothes on,
but surprisingly enough, my body isn’t worth the jail time.
>You’re either too insecure,
>or your persecution complex has gotten way out of hand.
My gosh.
Even so, there are things you should say and there are things you shouldn’t.
>She’s aware?!

Aniplex :: It may not seem like it over all this clothing,
but it actually might not be worth breaking the law to subjugate this physical body of mine.
>You know what, overall you seem to be way too self-conscious,
>or should I say you have a massive persecution complex?
Shame on you.
Even if it’s the truth, there are some things you should say and some you shouldn’t say!
>She realizes it!

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

16.

Koyomi talking to Hitagi.

qIIq :: {\b1}SENJOUGAHARASAMA{\b0}.
>Capitalized pronunciation is unacceptable. Say it properly.

Koharubi :: Senjougahara-sama~!
>Don’t use such a robotic tone.

gg :: Se-n-jo-u-ga-ha-ra-sa-ma.
>I don’t like the way you pronounced it.

Aniplex :: “Senjyogahara sama.”
>Without the air quotes, if you don’t mind.

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

17.

Hitagi talking to Koyomi.

qIIq :: Copper, 40g; Zinc, 25g; Nickel, 15g; Hiding embarrassment, 5g;
and evil intention, 97kg. That’s what my harsh remarks are transmuted from.
>It’s mostly evil intention!
By the way, “hiding embarrassment” is a lie.
>You omit the most important element!

Koharubi :: Copper: 40 g. Iron: 25 g. Nickel: 15 g. Concealing embarrassment: 5 g.
Add 97 kg of bad intentions, and you’ve got my statement.
>That was mostly just bad intentions!
Just so you know, that concealing embarrassment part was a lie.
>You just deleted the element that you shouldn’t delete!

gg :: My harsh remarks are made by transmutating 40g of copper, 25g of zinc,
15g of nickel, 5g of hiding my embarrassment along with 97kg of spite.
>Isn’t that nearly all spite?!
By the way, I was lying about “hiding my embarrassment”.
>You took out the most important ingredient!

Aniplex :: Copper: 40 grams, zinc: 25 grams, nickel: 15 grams,
hiding my embarrassment: 5 grams…
…malicious intent: 97 kilograms. That’s what my verbal abuse is comprised of.
>I’d say it was almost all malicious intent.
By the way, I was lying about hiding my embarrassment.
>So you left out the one thing you shouldn’t have!

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

18.

Oshino talking to Hitagi.

qIIq :: Heavy Crab.
>Heavy… crab?
Yep. It’s a legend from the mountains of Kyushu.
Talking about crabs, based on location, there were mind crabs, heavy crabs, heavy stone crabs,
and even heavy gods.
The thing is, crabs and gods are connected.

Koharubi :: Omoshi Kani. {\an8}Note: Weight Crab.
>Omoshi Kani?
Yes, it’s a myth from the mountains in the Kyushu region.
According to different areas, Omoshi Kani is also known as Omoishi Kani or Omoshi Gani. {\an8}Note: Heavy Stone God or Emotion God.
Furthermore, Omoishi Kami is another way of saying it.
It’s a pun on kani and kami, which are crab and god.

gg :: Heavy crab.
>Heavy crab?
Yeah, it’s folklore from the mountains of Kyushu.
Depending on the location, its name varies from weighty crab to heavy stone crab.
Or even heavy stone god. That means crabs and gods are connected.

Aniplex :: Weight Crab…
>Weight… Crab?
It’s a myth that originated near the mountains of Kyushu, south Japan.
Depending on the region, it’s known as either a Weight Crab,
or a Mind Crab, a Heavy Stone Crab, or else a Heavy Stone God.
There’s a play on the words “crab (kani)” and “god (kami),” you see.

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

19.

Oshino talking to Hitagi.

qIIq :: Don’t misunderstand me, little missy.
You didn’t become like this because of someone’s fault. It’s just that your point of view changed.
>”Point of view”? What are you trying to say?
I’m telling you that I can’t stand victimized faces, little missy.

Koharubi :: Don’t be mistaken, miss.
You didn’t become like this as a result of something.
It’s only that the perspective changed a bit.
Perspective?
>What are you trying to say?
I’m saying that your “oh, so pitiful” look makes me unhappy, miss.

gg :: Don’t get the wrong idea, young lady.
You didn’t become like this because of whatever.
It’s just that your point of view changed.
>My point of view? What are you trying to say?
I’m saying I can’t stand you acting all victimized, young lady.

Aniplex :: Don’t get me wrong, young miss.
It’s not as if you became that way for a reason.
It’s just that your perspective shifted a bit.
>Perspective? What are you trying to say?
I’m saying I don’t care for the way you’re playing the victim, young miss.

to watch the show RAW because the sub choices suck :: N/A. They all suck.

THIS IS A MARKER FOR WHERE THE IMAGES END

Well, how’d ya do? Were your expectations met? Was your fragile reality shattered? Did you finally realize that not one goddamn translator understands Japanese? Results share, onegaishidesumasu.