Fansub Review: [UTW-Mazui] Nekomonogatari (Episode 01)

January 4, 2013January 4, 2013 by Dark_Sage

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

And… this show is beyond UTW-Mazui as well. Fansubbing!

Release Information

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Results

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (523 MB, 10-bit) <- Note: This includes two “episodes”

Japanesiness: Super Jap!

English style: American English.

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/hWJj1RyS

Speed: Slow (>48 hours)

External links.

Group websites: http://utw.me/ http://mazuisubs.com/

IRC channel: #[email protected] #[email protected]

SubCompare screenshot comparisons: N/A

Commie’s fansub reviews: N/A

Visual Review

Karaoke.

This is a great karaoke if you don’t focus on the text. If you do, you’ll often find yourself being unable to read what’s on the screen, since the faint font causes many of the color choices to blend into the background. I don’t particularly think giving your viewers a headache is a great way to go about karaoke, UTW-Mazui.

But if you want to glaze over the text in favor of treating karaoke like art, you’ll enjoy it quite a bit.

Rating: Okay.

Typesetting.

Large amount of signs in the spoiler. And ecchi at the end, of course.

Spoiler for

Good typesetting. Commie typeset more signs, but UTW-Mazui got all the important ones.

Script Review

Terminological Superiority.

UTW-Mazui had some noticeably better translations when compared to Commie and pem.

As opposed to “oddities”, which both Commie and pem went with. “oddities” is a pretty shitty word that no one would ever use, so grats to UTW-Mazui on this.

Commie: Cat Curse

pem: Blocat (It may “work”, but it looks terrible.)

I don’t particularly see why Commie was the only one to translate this differently, especially considering how they should know how to handle these based on Shinsekai.

And… Wait, those are all the most important ones? Okay, onto the script review then.

Main Script.

I hope I’m not alone in thinking this looks terrible. “Unhumanly” is technically a word, but boy does it look out of place.

Why not “inhuman beings” (inhuman carries all the meaning of unhuman and then some) or “creatures”? This is an issue not because it’s incorrect, but because common diction indicates it shouldn’t be.

Commie’s TL mentioned this is the literal translation for the line. Which would be great if this were, you know, a Japanese script. But I see it tagged as “English” on Nyaa, so that won’t fly.

“A beautiful demon that makes one’s blood run cold.”

Oh, what? I’m saying that it’s possible to translate it almost literally while using an English idiom to make the sentence seem natural? Yes, I am.

its -> their

Because “two weeks” is plural, you need to make the possessive match.

Have you ever used “beget” in a sentence before this release? The “other” there is unnecessary.

Seems like a lasting name. Might wanna capitalize it. “Valhalla Combination”.

This isn’t an issue of right or wrong, but “An immaculate saint.” would work at least several degrees better. Hell, “flawless saint” would work too. But impeccable? Weird fucking choice of words, even though they’re technically correct. And that appears to be a common issue in the release.

What? No. That makes no fucking sense. Translate the goddamn show; don’t transcribe the Japanese text and call it a day.

For this section pem had, “Pure. Impossibly kind. Like an angel put here on Earth.”

So why was pem able to translate this into English and yet you and Commie failed at it? By now, I think we all know that “But it’s a literal translation” is a kneejerk response intended to be an instant, irrefutable rebuttal to anything that approaches criticism. It’s also a failure of an argument. You are translating for an English-speaking audience, so your translation should make sense to English speakers.

“abnormal wings” doesn’t make sense. It’s not something you can TL note and it’s not something your viewers can look up online to learn more about. It’s not even a phrasing quirk unique to the anime fanbase. Those would be arguable. No, this is pure and unadulterated gibberish. It’s the kind of sentence your average middle-school, lol-random-pocky fujoshi might appreciate, but not something a normal human could. And that’s why I take issue with it.

Good. Unlike pem (“Shocking!? That’s shock and awe right there!”) and Commie (“Shattering? More like earth-shattering, if you ask me!”), UTW appropriately matched the imagery.

You can’t be serious.

Do they. At what point do they become love.

These don’t appear to be simple mistakes made by quickly typing out lines and moving on. Rather, it seems like there is some willful ignorance afoot. Maybe this group’s TLs should spend some time talking to actual people (read: not fansubbers) for once to get the gist of how conversations in English work.

Those so’s do not work well together. Because you’re trailing off into the next line, read as a whole, this is:

“The role of the straight man is traditionally yours, so it’s a bit awkward for me to be doing it, so you can’t tell if you’re feeling love…”

Please don’t make me explain why this is an issue. I want to believe you’re literate.

The second line could easily be fixed with the standby “Okay”. “Okay, so you can’t tell if you feel love for her…” <- With this, the “Okay” breaks the sentence away from the previous one, leading to un-garbled English.

“She ended up in my class at the start of this month.”

“Beginning this month” is a phrase that indicates that at the start of the month, something is going to begin. Because it’s obvious she’s already transferred in, this is wrong.

“Not a single one.” {Alternatively, you could use “person” instead of “one”, but you’ll miss out on the wordplay.}

The phrase “Absolutely nil.” does not correspond to the previous line at all. Yes, “nil” means zero, but it doesn’t match.

“When, and at what stage,”

The pausing is necessary.

Why is there a “but” in the third line? She’s just restating/rephrasing what she said a line prior.

around, hoping

I’ve generally given up on looking for comma splices and other minor errors involving commas. But when a missing or misplaced comma impedes sentence flow… then it becomes an issue.

However, I know some people won’t be satisfied by that bare-bones explanation. After all, it’s just a comma, right? Well yes, that’s true, just as a period is just a period. Punctuation is necessary to dictate proper line flow, and to ignore that fact is to ignore one of the most basic tenets of our language.

The missing comma here caused me to stumble over the line. And any careful, native English-speaker would stumble here too, which is why I take issue with it. Safety first!

I… Why did you capitalize “Torch Bearer”?

What on Satan’s green earth are you doing?! Do you capitalize “ramen” too? Fucking hell…

~Yay~

Hahaha. What a great joke, UTW-Mazui. It’s so natural-sounding and subtle, it’s almost as if your TL wasn’t smart enough to make this a joke and translated it straight instead.

You know, like every other line in this release. Hahaha.

Isn’t that funny? I bet even a werewolf would laugh. Hahaha.

What the shit is this?

pem: “No! This is like one of my novels!” // “I need to man up!”

Commie: “Actually wait, this is more like a short essay!” // “What I need right now is composition skills!”

What I take from those is that it has to do something about writing/literature in some fashion. In which case, how about:

“No! This is actually a test of of my writing skills!”//”I need to write my own tale’s conclusion!” {“tale” as opposed to “story” because it gives a better sense of the timeframe he’s talking about — one afternoon’s tale as opposed to his life’s story}

Say huh?

First off “did you just want to check out my entire body” is an issue. I don’t like the phrase as a whole, but the “entire” needs to be removed.

And I do believe there’s wordplay here. As in, those final two lines need to somehow match those two lines prior.

Results

Watchability: Watchable.

Visual grade: A (less typesetting than Commie, and an often-unreadable karaoke are the reasons why they scored less here)

Script grade: D

Overall grade: C

I’m sure the overall translation is precise, but it kind of shows that this is a joint where the TLs do most of the work and editors don’t really factor in. There’s a lot of awkward to deal with. Again, I’m holding back some screenshots from y’all for the sake of readability. But those held back in combination with what I highlighted in the review result in a pretty solid C for me.

Nekomonogatari – Final Choice

I think you get the idea — fansubbers are not prepared to handle -monogataris by themselves. This was true in 2009 with Koharubi, gg, and qIIq, and it’s true in 2013 with UTW-Mazui, Commie, and pem. The Nisemonogatari releases in 2012 were good only because fansubbers took Crunchyroll’s brilliant scripts and added a touch of make-up to them. But these releases only serve to highlight just how far fansubbing is from where it needs to be.

Ultimately, none of the three releases are heads above the others — it’s pretty even. But you want a rec, so which one?

pem has a very interesting script, but when it comes to their presentation, they’re hard to recommend as a final choice. Meaning it comes down to Commie and UTW-Mazui for this show.

UTW-Mazui’s issues are related entirely to a misunderstanding of how the English language actually functions and what native speakers would find acceptable. But they have the precision that you’d expect from the brand.

Commie’s issues mostly stem from a combination of incredibly stupid literal translations and incredibly stupid liberal translations. The release has identity issues. But there is still a bit of flavor to it.

All three releases have significant issues, but of them, I’m going to recommend Commie’s release. I find flavor to be the most important aspect of making -monogataris enjoyable, and Commie had more of it than UTW-Mazui and a superior presentation in regards to pem. So Commie’s my choice, though you wouldn’t be “wrong” for choosing one of the other two.
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57 thoughts on “Fansub Review: [UTW-Mazui] Nekomonogatari (Episode 01)”

P32L

January 4, 2013 at 12:27 pm

Just realised I can cheat the system and skip straight to the ecchi by scrolling.
\o/
…I have no idea why this induced a sense of accomplishment in me.
Reply
sakagamitomoya

January 4, 2013 at 12:50 pm

Commie wins because of “Fuck Yeah!”.
Reply
ar

January 4, 2013 at 1:05 pm

Dear Dark_Sage,

I am with the belief that if you make a SHAFT Monogatari OP readable you are doingitwrong(tm). It’s what makes them fun and artsy~
Reply
Vance

January 4, 2013 at 1:05 pm

Even UTW was well below par.

“A beautiful demon that makes one’s blood run cold.”

How in the world did all three groups think that “beautiful” was the optimal choice for this line?

A demon (or monster) striking (imposing, awesome, impressive, etc.) enough to make one’s blood curl.

That is much superior.

Commie ended up having the best release after all, which was surprising.
Reply
- P32L
  
  January 4, 2013 at 1:08 pm
  
  Except blood curling isn’t a thing.
  Reply
  - ar
    
    January 4, 2013 at 1:12 pm
    
    And Commie’s typesetting was terribly half-assed.
    Reply
  - Vance
    
    January 4, 2013 at 1:18 pm
    
    Come back after you have learned English.
    Reply
    - ar
      
      January 4, 2013 at 1:22 pm
      
      Come back after you learn Japanese. The adjective used is “utsukushii”, which means beautiful.
      Reply
      - Vance
        
        January 4, 2013 at 1:42 pm
        
        As 8thsin has always said, you should be translating meaning and not words, as otherwise, you have failed in delivering the message. The context clearly indicates that something about the appearance caused fear, making “beautiful” very suboptimal. This is something Dark_Sage has already mentioned with his review of Commie’s script. No understanding of Japanese is necessary to realize this, and I’d bet money that somebody fluent in both Japanese (a Native speaker) and English (lived for an extended period of time in a country where English is the official language) would not use “beautiful” for this scenario.
        Reply
        
        korol
        
        January 4, 2013 at 1:50 pm
        
        It’s not about her being intimidating or anything. She’s supposed to be fucking beautiful, so beautiful that you might just die of shock.
        Reply
        
        ar
        
        January 4, 2013 at 1:52 pm
        
        You can give up that money to me if you like,
        I’ll save you the need of betting~ One of our translators on this is a native Japanese speaker who lives in Japan and has spoken English/Japanese his whole life.
        
        What you fail to understand here is, beautiful was used specifically to describe Shinobu’s idk what would call it… Beauty? She is beautiful in her adult form.
        Reply
        
        P32L
        
        January 4, 2013 at 1:52 pm
        
        Except the line apparently does say it was out of beauty, not fear, meaning your edit is entirely inappropriate.
        
        http://crymore.net/2013/01/03/fansub-review-commie-nekomonogatari-episode-01/comment-page-1/#comment-19579
        
        You can stop talking out of your arse now.
        Reply
        
        Vance
        
        January 4, 2013 at 2:31 pm
        
        Saying that it makes your blood run cold does show that the appearance caused fear. Again, learn English.
        
        Alright, my edit is indeed inappropriate, but none of the groups did a good job with it.
        
        “A monster whose beauty is enough to make the heart stop.”
        
        That was Dark_Sage’s alternative, and it really does get the message across much better.
        Reply
        
        P32L
        
        January 5, 2013 at 1:18 am
        
        The appearance caused what I’d refer to as shock rather than fear. Perhaps it is you who has cause to learn English. But no, continue to propose edits to lines with your clearly superior knowledge of the English and Japanese languages.
        Reply
        
        Blah
        
        January 10, 2013 at 6:24 pm
        
        If you like to complain about it so much do a better job instead of talking out of your ass trying to prove a point.
        Reply
        
        Xythar
        
        January 4, 2013 at 2:13 pm
        
        I think I mentioned this already, but the fact that it’s unusual for beautiful things to cause fear is the whole point of the line. It’s meant to be unusual.
        
        There’s a reason she’s an oddity/aberration/what have you.
        Reply
    - P32L
      
      January 4, 2013 at 1:25 pm
      
      I have learnt English, thank you very much, and I think you’ll find the expression is “blood curdle”, curdle meaing coagulate in this case.
      Reply
  - stushi
    
    January 4, 2013 at 5:47 pm
    
    I’m not even a native English speaker and I know that blood curling is a thing. It’s pretty common, in fact…
    Reply
    - korol
      
      January 4, 2013 at 7:29 pm
      
      I’m sure you mean “curdling” rather than “curling”. The latter is a mistake propagated by those who have misheard the term, just like “for all intensive purposes”.
      Reply
      - Dark_Sage
        
        January 4, 2013 at 8:00 pm
        
        Whatever the term’s etymology, “blood curl” is just as acceptable as “blood curdle” now, at least in terms of common use (it could be an Americanized corruption). Blood “curdling”, though, is far more common than blood “curling”, which is an interesting difference.
        Reply
        
        FalseDawn
        
        January 4, 2013 at 8:20 pm
        
        I’d never heard curling before it came up on this site, so yeah, it’s probably an Americanisation if it’s acceptable now. Curdle makes so much more sense though. You curl fingers, not blood.
        Reply
        
        Pacific
        
        January 5, 2013 at 12:43 am
        
        Curling is a bloodsport and is acceptable now? I thought hockey was hardcore, but after the Swedes thrashed them for the women’s gold, those bewitching Canucks must be determined to prove they’re badass. The screams from the penalties must be blood curdling. Do they paint the scores by curling the spilled blood on the scoreboard? ;)
        Reply
        
        G.
        
        January 6, 2013 at 10:11 am
        
        I don’t know about that maligned spelling being so common – I’d never heard it in the US northeast, so I Googled it. The first page for “blood curdle” includes actual dictionary sites, while “blood curl” has a UD link and a bunch of results for a band and spammers. I agree: I think it’s just a case of illiteracy/laziness rather than common parlance. (And it makes my inner spelling Nazi loathe the internet even more!)
        Reply
- Anca
  
  January 4, 2013 at 4:08 pm
  
  No, no, beauty being terrifying is a thing in Japan. Watch Aoi Bungaku’s second segment. It’s unusual in the west, yes, but it’s one of those eastern aesthetic things that you only really realize if you grow up there – or watch the right anime. It’s the reason why evil characters in anime are always incredibly beautiful – so you can’t just change that to suit our understanding.
  Reply
  - corocoro
    
    January 4, 2013 at 4:32 pm
    
    And here I was thinking they were good-looking so the fujoshi’s have more fanfic material.
    Reply
    - Anca
      
      January 4, 2013 at 4:54 pm
      
      It’s not only a trend in fujoshi targeted anime, and it’s not just limited to bishonen. Really, the more evil a villain the prettier the design rule holds true pretty much in all anime.
      
      Iwa ni Hana used to have a fantastic post about it, but her blog disappeared and the wayback machine hasn’t archived it.
      Reply
- Ryohei
  
  January 5, 2013 at 3:11 am
  
  Because “utsukushii” means “beautiful” and not “striking”, “imposing”, “awesome”, or “impressive”.
  Reply
kayserlein

January 4, 2013 at 1:23 pm

THANK GOD SHAFT wants to appeal to male fans with their ecchi. Who knows what Dark_Sage would’ve shown us otherwise.

http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/UTW-Mazui_Nekomonogatari_Black_-_01-02_720pD7A96760.mkv_snapshot_16.31_2013.01.02_22.30.50-640×360.jpg

Well, I’ll let that count.
Reply
KoolKidsK

January 4, 2013 at 3:38 pm

http://puu.sh/1Jvi6
Reply
Verix

January 4, 2013 at 5:17 pm

I liked how UTW managed the cat-speak as apposed to Commie. UTW went with a n->nya approach while commie went for a wittier per-word approach, it’s a matter of preference I guess. Both releases are okay.
Reply
- skiddiks
  
  January 4, 2013 at 5:35 pm
  
  I thought Commie’s was much better. Reading “Nyaster” in UTW/Mazui’s release made me cringe a bit. I also disliked the “meow” at the end of every line (I don’t care if she says “nya” at the end of everything; it’s still retarded).
  
  I actually would like a review comparing the cat-speak between groups.
  Reply
  - Verix
    
    January 4, 2013 at 5:37 pm
    
    Cat-speak comparison, ha :>
    Reply
  - skiddiks
    
    January 4, 2013 at 5:46 pm
    
    After re-checking, it seems like they used myaster, but that’s still retarded as fuck.
    
    http://puu.sh/1JAaG
    
    Yeah, “nyothing” is pretty shit too.
    Reply
    - Verix
      
      January 4, 2013 at 5:53 pm
      
      Yeah there’s some really dumb looking words used by UTW, but they are still less obtrusive than some of commie’s. You read over the nya and still get what is being said. When there’s in commie’s release several ‘cat-ified’ words are used in one sentence and in just a couple of seconds time, it can be harder to get what is actually being said. I don’t like pausing my player. As I said: preference.
      Commie also said to possibly offer a non-cat-speak track.
      Reply
    - kokujin-kun
      
      January 4, 2013 at 6:30 pm
      
      You gotta be squidding me.
      Reply
      - Ryohei
        
        January 5, 2013 at 3:13 am
        
        LOL I’m dying
        Reply
- Behold
  
  January 4, 2013 at 6:18 pm
  
  Wait, UTW seriously used “nya”? In an English script? You know, a language where “nya” isn’t an actual onomatopoeia? That’s just nonsensical.
  Reply
  - herkz
    
    January 5, 2013 at 12:45 am
    
    Don’t tell them that.
    Reply
    - =0x0=
      
      January 5, 2013 at 1:57 am
      
      I told them nyothing.
      Reply
kokujin-kun

January 4, 2013 at 6:29 pm

>Maybe this group’s TLs should spend some time
>talking to actual people (read: not fansubbers)
>for once to get the gist of how conversations
>in English work.

Here’s a rough sample of the fansubbers you expect to be capable of normal human interaction and conversations:

http://i.imgur.com/4a1LA.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/w8GEQ.jpg

Thanks for a good laugh. I doubt any of them even watches TV or reads books outside of “Game of Thrones”.
Reply
- Yumi-chan
  
  January 4, 2013 at 8:50 pm
  
  Outside is scary…
  Reply
  - Nemui
    
    January 4, 2013 at 9:38 pm
    
    Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard, too.
    Reply
- Omex
  
  January 4, 2013 at 10:07 pm
  
  you shut the fuck up aers is my waifu. and he read wheel of time SO YEAH
  Reply
- Anca
  
  January 5, 2013 at 6:20 am
  
  Damn Jaka is cute. In fact, most of them are stupidly attractive by my standards, wat.
  Reply
  - P32L
    
    January 5, 2013 at 6:30 am
    
    Fuck, your standards must be low! Actually, come to think of it, whereabouts do you live…?
    Reply
  - sapphi
    
    January 5, 2013 at 5:14 pm
    
    Oh my god, this post made my month.
    
    Maybe even my year.
    Reply
- Hairy
  
  January 5, 2013 at 6:49 am
  
  Matt x Koda OTP
  Reply
- FalseDawn
  
  January 5, 2013 at 5:33 pm
  
  And what, might I ask, is wrong with Game of Thrones? I’m greatly enjoying it’s policy of “if there’s a female character in this show, she WILL get naked.” Doesn’t leave you hanging only to be disappointed.
  Reply
  - FalseDawn
    
    January 5, 2013 at 5:34 pm
    
    Did I really just it’s instead of its? Oh man, I’m sorry, guys. I feel I’ve let you all down :(
    Reply
Beelzebub

January 4, 2013 at 9:01 pm

“And any careful, native English-speaker would stumble here too, which is why I take issue with it.”

Not a native English-speaker here, but that missing comma gave me trouble as well.
Does this make me a god?
Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  January 4, 2013 at 9:05 pm
  
  No, but you can have honorary Native American status.
  Reply
  - corocoro
    
    January 4, 2013 at 9:09 pm
    
    Does the offer include diabetes?
    Reply
    - Ryohei
      
      January 5, 2013 at 3:16 am
      
      I think they offer smallpox instead
      Reply
=0x0=

January 4, 2013 at 9:36 pm

Script grade: D
Overall grade: C
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….
This is what your four translators and two editors can come up with?
Reply
- NyQuil
  
  January 8, 2013 at 11:20 pm
  
  Quite immature aren’t you?
  Reply
PolynAzn

January 5, 2013 at 1:07 am

“Your human intestines fall when you make friends.”

Naruhodo.
Reply
zasxkok9

January 5, 2013 at 7:38 am

Honestly, either Commie or UTW is ok.
I am grateful that there are even people who subbed this series, and so quickly as well. A big thank you to the fan-subbers.
Heck, some of us don’t even have the time to fan-sub this show. So we should just appreciate and enjoy their effort, which I am sure they have tried their best to fan-sub them in the shortest time possible. :)
Reply