Fansub Review: [Mezashite] Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shurabasugiru (Episode 04)

February 6, 2013February 3, 2013 by Dark_Sage

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

Mezashite, why would you do this to me?

Release Information

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Results

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (323 MB, 10-bit)

Japanesiness: Honorifics. “Kya” used.

English style: American English.

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/2x55km7L

Speed: Quick (<48 hours)

External links.

Group website: https://mezashitesubs.wordpress.com/

IRC channel: #[email protected]

SubCompare screenshot comparisons: http://www.subcompare.com/ore_no_kanojo_to_osananajimi_ga_shuraba_sugiru/

Visual Review

Karaoke.

Opening. Good color/font choice, and it’s k-timed. Nice.

Rating: Good.

Ending. The color matches are suitable. Made the right call on not just repeating the same color for top and bottom.

Rating: Good.

Typesetting.

I don’t have any problems with what they did, but that JoJo sign… ;_;

Other.

Never heard of line breaks? (And that font, goddamn…)

Script Review

Karaoke.

I have no clue what you’re trying to say here.

The Japanese can’t into plurals (insert joke about roneriness), but that doesn’t mean you can’t either. If you just made it “Girlish Lovers” in the English part of the line, you’d be fine.

Main Script.

This doesn’t really work. What, he’s never praised her before in any fashion?

No, rori had it better with “So you can be nice.”

“shameless”? There are like 30 other words you could have used to negatively describe a girl who waited for a guy to come see her.

“shameless” is at the bottom of that list.

In that first screen you wouldn’t use present tense, because the prank is already over. Also, use of the word “all” indicates it was something more elaborate than just making a girl wait for a guy who didn’t actually like her.

Besides that, these two screens are back-to-back, which leads to some awkward reading when you factor in the “but” from the first line and the “but” from the second line. It stands out as bad writing. Drop the “but” from the second line and you’ll be fine.

“You’ve said it too. // That I am… // a demon.”

Putting the demon bit in the past doesn’t fit because the point of the scene is that she’s still a demon.

All this put together reads as “Just because we’re partners in crime doesn’t mean you should pass our despair onto others.”

And that… doesn’t really make sense. The reason she brought up their being similar kinds of people (at least in terms of being loveless monsters) is because she wanted him to sympathize/agree with her decision to let Chiwa get gangraped.

What this line should be saying is “Just because we’re both broken, loveless freaks doesn’t give us the right to pass our misery onto others.”

Along with Masuzu kissing Eita and Eita leaving Masuzu to rescue Chiwa, this is one of the most important parts in the episode for their relationship. So no, I don’t take kindly to it being fucked up. (Even though Chiwa is best girl. Come at me, Masuzufags.)

Yes, yes I do.

Although Chihuahua is one of her nicknames, Eita would only use it sarcastically since he knows it bugs her. Put it in quotes and lowercase to reflect. Hey, how about that? Turns out grammar actually does affect understanding!

I’m this “chihuahua’s” childhood friend.

Pretty sure you mean “strike” or “blow”, not “hand”.

messed-up

And no, minor errors like this don’t affect the score very much. I highlight them so you can get them right in the future. So let’s get to the root of why this needs to be done.

You use hyphens for adjectives. Because “messed up” is describing “guy”, you gotta hyphenate it. You don’t do this for words ending in -ly for some reason though. Look up hyphenated adjectives if you want more info on the subject. Review would be too long with a full lesson on this shit.

Huh? I would let it go if you said something like “He’s making my ears bleed” (even though that’s still shit), but his physical presence isn’t enough to cause one’s eyes to hurt.

Point is, he’s reacting in a negative way to Eita spazzing out. Try something more natural next time like “This guy’s brainfucked.” or “His ranting’s giving me a headache.”

He did say “kanojo”, yeah. But there’s a reason rori changed it to “she”. That is, all three of the girls who hear this line are supposed to think that what he said refers to them. Because two of them (Chiwa and Masuzu) already know that he’s dating Masuzu, there’s no confusion with his statement. So to get across that confusion, you can’t just directly translate it as “girlfriend” — you have to dance around it.

Not that I think rori’s choice was the best one, though. With “she”, they missed out on the strength of what he just said (and yes, it’s important).

What I’d go with is “my woman” over “my girlfriend”. Because that can be interpreted many different ways while still getting across the sentiment of “kanojo”.

What? Where the fuck did that come from? If you wanna go with that theme, why not “What are you planning to do with that toy?” ?

Goddamn did you fuck this up. It’s “at all”, not “very much”.

I realize you’re probably too stupid to understand the difference, so let me fucking lay it out for you:

“I don’t like you very much” implies that it’s still possible for her to like him, even just a little. But the point of this line is that she’s saying she doesn’t even have the most minimal amount of interest in him. It’s much less effective with the way Mezashite had it.

I wish your wrists were bleeding lakes. How fucking stupid do you have to be to write something like this?

>just now

Not even fucking close, Mezashite. Try “back then”. It’s been a long time since he yelled that out.

It’s not just context Mezashite is missing from this release — the sentences are poorly written as well, with needless repetition (back, back) and colorless language.

Not to say that’s a terrible thing, though. I mean, it only matters if you’re literate.

What? No. She has been heading home. She just walked with Eita to his house first and then walked all the way back to hers. Not that hard to get.

Stop ruining the show, Mezashite.

Nice subs, Mezashitty. (zing!)

Wait, what? Are you sure? I was under the impression the club was intended for Chiwa to become more popular. Masuzu doesn’t need more popularity and neither does Eita. That’s like… the entire basis of their relationship. How do you fuck this up?

And on second thought, it’s a “society for maidens”. This doesn’t make sense no matter how you look at it.

I think my sight would be better if I turned your shitty subs off.

What person? What exactly are you referring to here with a line like that?

Let me just copy in what rori had here so you can see what makes sense:

Your first wasn’t Harusaki Chiwa. It was me, Natsukawa Masuzu.

>Are you okay with this?

With what?

>Well, the person you kissed was a fake.

I admit I was half-asleep during the first part of this review, but I don’t recall the subs being this shit earlier on. Did you just give up?

were -> are

Christ, you guys really fucking let yourselves go by this point.

He could, he just doesn’t want to. Come on, anime is not that hard to sub.

I’d like to take this poorly timed scene (the dialogue occurs right here while the subs appear later) as an opportunity to let you know the timing is really shit in this episode.

Not “here”, “there”. He’s referring to her presence in his bathroom, which he is no longer in, so you need to use “there” to reflect that.

If you want to argue he’s talking about his house, then this needs to be more specific by saying “Wh-Why are you in my house?”

Why do you do this to me, Mezashite? Do you know how badly I wanted to say your release was a solid entry from an upcoming sub group? REALLY FUCKING BADLY.

Hire a goddamn editor. Please.

Oh wow.

Results

Watchability: Watchable.

Visual grade: B-

Script grade: D-

Overall grade: D

It almost feels like Mezashite worked on the script for this show without watching it. A lot of these lines don’t really fit what’s going on, and the show suffers as a result.

I’d suggest watching rori’s over Mezashite’s. Next up: Oni’s.
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28 thoughts on “Fansub Review: [Mezashite] Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shurabasugiru (Episode 04)”

rarely_upset

February 3, 2013 at 5:41 pm

Rori didn’t change it to ‘she’; that was how it was in the Crunchyscript.

Re: were/are a JoJo fan, there’s nothing he does in the present that indicates his being a JoJo fan, so I always thought that she got it from his notebook. If that’s true, then it is possible that he is no longer a JoJo fan.
This would also make the part in episode 5 where he brings up a scene from JoJo more meaningful (he reaches out of his comfort zone to connect with Masuzu).
Reply
FalseDawn

February 3, 2013 at 5:58 pm

“Naked aprons” should become a new meme.
Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  February 3, 2013 at 6:03 pm
  
  Inform reddit. They’re great at meme-making.
  Reply
  - FalseDawn
    
    February 3, 2013 at 6:19 pm
    
    :effort:
    
    I’m sure someone will do it for me/has already done it.
    Reply
    - Dark_Sage
      
      February 3, 2013 at 6:29 pm
      
      I wasn’t being serious. The idea of forcing a meme is… well, I don’t want to say “offensive”, but let’s say I’m not keen on the idea or the mentality.
      Reply
      - FalseDawn
        
        February 3, 2013 at 6:36 pm
        
        I thought all memes were forced anyway? Just someone deciding to repeat things lots until others start using it too. I’m hardly ever serious either, don’t worry. But I could easily see that screenshot as a handy addition to the “fansubbers=stupid” pile of screenies that get wheeled around /a/ every now and then.
        Reply
- Beelzebub
  
  February 4, 2013 at 2:20 pm
  
  So, I take it you guys never heard of the trope “Naked Apron” before?
  Reply
  - Dark_Sage
    
    February 4, 2013 at 3:36 pm
    
    I hadn’t until yesterday. If you read further down into the comments, we already started discussing it.
    Reply
etocetera

February 3, 2013 at 6:06 pm

Okay, so in defense of that which can be defended:

>“You’ve said it too. // That I am… // a demon.”
English tense agreement (assuming it’s all one sentence) dictates that the subordinate verb matches the main verb. I.e. “You said that I was a demon” is correct, while “You said that I am a demon” is wrong.

>Although Chihuahua is one of her nicknames, Eita would only use it sarcastically since he knows it bugs her.
In episode 05, one of Chiwa’s friends texts her, calling her “Chiwawan”. It’s not completely clear that Chiwa dislikes the nickname. The line we had does sound off, though.

>Pretty sure you mean “strike” or “blow”, not “hand”.
“Hand” is a literal translation — strike/blow changes the meaning slightly from “I need very little effort to defeat you” to “I can defeat you very quickly”, though the distinction isn’t too important.

>What? Where the fuck did that come from? If you wanna go with that theme, why not “What are you planning to do with that toy?” ?
If I remember the original correctly, he says something like “We’re not playing house here.”

>What person? What exactly are you referring to here with a line like that?
Insert “the” before the word “person”.

That said, this episode was particularly shitty, I’ll admit to that. If the quality was so low that it affected your mood, I’ve got plenty of excuses to cheer you up; just ask.
Reply
- FalseDawn
  
  February 3, 2013 at 6:28 pm
  
  A lot of these screenshots are pretty indefensible.
  
  Btw, you’re wrong with the first line. While what you say is correct as one whole line (You said that I was demon), what you have in the sub is different. The enforced pauses mean that actually, the second part becomes a clarification and because her being a demon is a continuing state of being, D_S’s fix is correct.
  Reply
- rarely_upset
  
  February 3, 2013 at 6:34 pm
  
  I don’t think ‘Chihuahua’ bugs Chiwa too much. Kaoru talks about her using that name, and he(…) doesn’t seem like the sort who would use a hurtful nickname.
  
  However, Eita normally calls her “Chiwa”, and he’s saying “this Chihuahua”, so putting it in quotes would be appropriate.
  Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  February 3, 2013 at 6:47 pm
  
  “You said that I’m a demon.” is valid English. I should have probably taken the ‘ve out of my fix though. (Yes that sentence sucks. It’s just illustrating how the grammar fits.)
  
  “house” and “make-believe” don’t really fit the scene though. “You gonna play at samurai with that{ toy}?” would probably work.
  
  Well, I knew what you meant there, but just posting the line by itself would have been too arguable to let slide without the context. (Because under various circumstances the line would be valid English.)
  
  To actually affect my mood, your release would have to be bad in ways that I couldn’t easily mock and somehow be perfectly acceptable to people who don’t speak English natively. When I have to write a paragraph or two for every issue, explaining why each of the 30 images I posted is wrong… and when the review ends up boring and lengthy… that’s when a release is going to take its toll on me. I’d rather the images speak for themselves, because I’m not terribly great at explaining why things aren’t right. Otherwise it’s mostly hyperbole, so no worries.
  
  (I don’t know if this is what you were getting at with the excuses bit, but if you have serious issues with an episode and it’s likely your release isn’t going to be a representative sample of your work on the show, just PM me on IRC or drop a note on this site. I try to avoid reviewing those, although I sometimes forget.)
  Reply
February 3, 2013 at 7:14 pm

Why waste time translating a CR show from scratch if you can’t do a better job?

Oh, and
>all that weebiness
Reply
njd09

February 3, 2013 at 8:28 pm

My review of Dark_Sage’s review:

>It almost feels like Mezashite worked on the script this show without watching it.

A-. Could be better.

Back to the topic at hand, at least they’re subbing Aikatsu pretty well, and that’s all that matters.
Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  February 3, 2013 at 8:29 pm
  
  Dark_Sage needs a QC.
  Reply
- Name goes here
  
  February 6, 2013 at 10:27 am
  
  You forgot
  
  >“shameless”? There are like 30 other words you could have used to negatively describe a girl who waited for a guy to come see here.
  
  B+. Mazui_Sage strikes again.
  
  Is this show even any good? I read the first chapter of the manga and dropped it.
  Reply
Random Guy

February 3, 2013 at 8:32 pm

>It almost feels like Mezashite worked on the script this show without watching it.

D:
Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  February 3, 2013 at 8:36 pm
  
  You were a bit late on that one.
  Reply
sakagamitomoya Fuck xythar hes a gay jewish nazi cuntreamer

February 3, 2013 at 9:10 pm

This is how normal fansubbing groups react to a bad review.

Lrn2stfu, commie
Reply
lygerzero0zero

February 3, 2013 at 9:16 pm

Funny thing, the tag for that sort of getup on danbooru is, in fact, “naked_apron”, directly translated from 裸エプロン.

(not that… I’d have any reason to know that…)
Reply
- zanon
  
  February 3, 2013 at 10:16 pm
  
  While admittedly having not seen this release (or episode for that matter) yeah, I thought that was a pretty well known and standard fetish. I mean, that’s what I hear. From people. They aren’t my friends or anything. I barely even know them!
  Reply
  - kokujin-kun
    
    February 3, 2013 at 10:33 pm
    
    Admittedly “naked apron” sounds retarded, but let me hear any better suggestions.
    Reply
    - Dark_Sage
      
      February 3, 2013 at 10:40 pm
      
      For a danbooru tag? nude_in_apron
      Reply
      - zanon
        
        February 4, 2013 at 12:06 am
        
        Less a matter of coming up with an alternate tag, more that it’s been around so damn long (as a cosplay fetish, it dates back to like world war 2) with that same literal translation that it’s become something of a standardized term. Granted, as with anything that doesn’t mean it should necessarily be used merely by weight of history, but at the same time it’s not exactly a neologism either.
        Reply
        
        lygerzero0zero
        
        February 4, 2013 at 12:23 am
        
        Wow, is the term really that old?
        
        Such an aged and venerable fetish it is. I salute thee, naked apron.
        Reply
        
        zanon
        
        February 4, 2013 at 12:57 am
        
        I don’t know the precise genesis of that exact term for it in Japanese, but the fetish itself came with the GIs basically. You can google “world war ii pin up girls” or the like, there was a big series of softcore pictures that were put out to raise the morale of soldiers, and some of them went for the domestic angle via the apron (ie., http://imgur.com/lLBROdQ). The pinups went where the soldiers went, and a bunch of them ended up in Japan. Some of that carried into the 50s when manga/anime was getting started, and the rest is seductive history. It’s now well established enough to make it into official art even.
        
        gg naked apron.
        Reply
        
        FalseDawn
        
        February 4, 2013 at 8:04 am
        
        “Oh noes, my apron is all naked.”
        
        Just because it’s the “official” translation for it doesn’t mean it’s not stupid.
        Reply
Kaimweir

March 11, 2013 at 8:38 am

I agree that Chiwa is the best girl.
Reply

Fansub Review: [Mezashite] Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shurabasugiru (Episode 04)

Table of Contents

Release Information

Episode details.

External links.

Visual Review

Karaoke.

Typesetting.

Other.

Script Review

Karaoke.

Main Script.

Results

28 thoughts on “Fansub Review: [Mezashite] Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shurabasugiru (Episode 04)”

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