Android Anime App Showdown: Shitty Calculator Apps Version

Smartphone day continues. And I’m constantly reminded why I never wrote about this shit before.

Contenders:

RTFA

 

 

Calculator Z and Ru er Chi [free] [BZW.] (【無料】ちえーる電卓Z[BZW.])

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=jp.co.everred.ChielCalc2

Dev: EverRed,Inc.

Use if: You like math, but really can’t stop masturbating to black stocking’d feet. (There are other various fetishes available for this series, but those girls look like they’ve been hit with a shovel a few too many times.)

Root needed: No

In-app Purchases: No

Ads: Yes

Cute girl with a very ugly calculator interface and annoying ads. Banzai Nippon!

When she says a number, she gets all red-faced and shit. Which is good, but unless she’s gonna give me a footjob too, it’s really not enough.

Rating: 1/5.

 

 

 

Squid Girl’s Squidulator (イカ娘電卓)

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=jp.co.undeux.ika.calc

Dev: GameGate Inc.

Use if: You’re brainwrecked enough to think that Squid Girl was a good anime.

Root needed: Yes. Japan-only app.

In-app Purchases: ?

Ads: ?

Rating: I don’t fucking know. Haven’t found a market spoofer I trust yet, so I’m not gonna try to get this.

 

 

 

Kaiji Fucks a Calculator (カイジ電卓（賭博破戒録）)

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.uhopro.CalcKaiji

Dev: TACOTY JP uho

Use if: You really want to impress everyone at that upcoming 4chan meetup.

Root needed: No

In-app Purchases: No

Ads: Yes, and they’re positioned/phrased in a way that doesn’t make it obvious they’re ads, which is not a good thing.

Unlike the other anime calculator apps, you don’t get voices when you hit the numbers. Instead, you pictures of people from Kaiji saying shit. Hope you know Japanese.

It’s cool for a bit because it’s pretty unique, but after a couple calculations it gets tiresome.

Rating: 1/5.

 

 

 

Kaoron the Angel’s Calculator (電卓天使)

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=kaoron.dentaku.tenshi

Dev: kaoron

Use if: You happen to be into shotas. That’s right, fujoshi. There’s finally an app aimed at you.

Root needed: No

In-app Purchases: No

Ads: Yes

Cute boy.

Cute boy again.

Unfortunately, that’s about as far as it goes with this app. When you press buttons, you’ll get a cute little kitty and the shota will tell you what number you hit, but that’s it.

The novelty wears off in about three seconds, which is unfortunate. But I guess it’s cuter than the standard calc app you have, and you don’t really have many options.

Rating: 1/5.

 

 

 

CalcGirl

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=althi.hrkw.CalcGirl

Dev: althi Inc.

Use if: I don’t know why you’d ever use this.

Root needed: No

In-app Purchases: Yes; additional costumes.

Ads: No

It’s a basic calculator with an anime girl in the background. She’ll read out what you input and the result, so I guess you could pass this off as a way to learn Japanese to people who don’t know you any better.

Beyond the standard calc, there’s a Panic Mode, which is fucking excellent. It turns the calculator into something approximating normalfagdom for when you need it. And then you get an “all clear” from her when you return. Naisu.

Going into the options menu allows you to get your fortune told. Which is good, if you speak Japanese. At least, that’s what my Magic 8-Ball told me.

Also in the options menu, you can buy additional costumes for the girl. They’re about $1.50 each. But she comes with three out of the box. Probably not worth spending a dime on this shit, but you’re free to be retarded if you want.

Rating: 1.5/5. Must-have app. Dark_Sage’s platinum award.

 

That’s it. Up next: Shitty Rock-Paper-Scissors Anime Apps.

(Yes, really.)