Part 2 tomorrow.

Words on a Post

Note: For the sake of comparison, I’m going to use the non-honorifics script from HorribleSubs rather than the honorifics script.

Legend

// = New line in the release

<> = This line was typeset

Bolded group = This group had the best line for this comparison

 

Chosen Scenes

Each comparison post will have 2 of the 9 scenes in this episode. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to devote to comparing the entire episode, but I can manage about half to a third of the release.

The first scene was picked by me. The second by our IRC channel.

<&Dark_Sage> Pick a number, 1-8. Most popular number gets picked.
<Mango-chan> 5
<&Dark_Sage> Mango-chan counts for “most popular”. 5 it shall be.
<Mango-chan> yay
<&Dark_Sage> You picked: Tiger vs. Cat
<&Dark_Sage> Sugoi

There will be one more comparison post, the contents of which will be voted on by you as I sleep. Pick carefully.

 

 

Comparisons

Hanekawa’s Monologue

00:00 -> 1:45

HorribleSubs: This is as good a time as any, so I’ll talk about Araragi now. // <Talking about Koyomi Araragi.> // <I’m talking about Koyomi Araragi, my friend and Senjougahara’s boyfriend.>

Commie: This is good timing. // Let’s talk a little about Araragi. // <Talk about Araragi Koyomi> // <Araragi Koyomi, who is Senjougahara’s boyfriend and my friend.>

“This is good timing” is wayyyy too fourth wall breaking (it operates in the sense of the hammy “Oh hey, didn’t notice you there” line you see in a lot of commercials) and this scene is nowhere close to implying that Hanekawa is aware of the viewer. Rather, she’s talking aloud, recounting her thoughts for herself.

HS wins.

HorribleSubs: Actually, I knew about Araragi even before spring break. // Not everything, but I did know about him.

Commie: To tell you the truth, I knew of him before spring break. // I didn’t know everything about him. // I just knew what I knew.

I’m partial to Commie’s “I just knew what I knew.” line, which is very reminiscent of past releases of this show I’d seen. Nostalgia isn’t enough to win my nod, though. Aniplex fucked up by rendering Hanekawa’s catch phrase into… nothing. Not good, Aplex.

HorribleSubs: He was pretty famous among the students of Naoetsu High School. // Or to be blunt, he was very noticeable in a bad way.

Commie: Araragi was pretty famous at Naoetsu High School. // Frankly speaking, he actually stood out in a bad sort of way.

These lines should be coordinate so I wouldn’t say either group handled this properly. However, were “neither group handled this properly” to be an acceptable choice, I’d have to choose it every time.

The best of the two would be the HS release simply because it’s most coordinate.

HorribleSubs: What was he doing, playing hooky from school and being perfunctory for class and exams? // It seems he was doing something like what he had done during spring break and Golden Week.

Commie: He skipped school, // and was very apathetic about classes or exams. // What was he doing then, you ask? // Apparently it was similar to what he did during spring break or Golden Week.

That Aniplex translation gave me a fucking headache and Commie’s line was completely off with “spring break or Golden Week”. (It’s not “or”, you guys.) But we’ll take their mistranslation over the poor Aniplex phrasing.

The loser in each case is you, dear viewer. Celebrate your luck.

HorribleSubs: The activities of the Fire Sisters, Karen and Tsukihi, pale in comparison. // That is a mere rehashing of Araragi’s junior-high days.

Commie: What Karen and Tsukihi do as the Fire Sisters // is nothing in comparison. // They’re merely rehashing what Araragi did during his middle school years.

I’m not sure what Aplex was thinking, trying to match “that” with “the activities”. Commie’s is more direct and actually manages grammatical soundness.

HorribleSubs: Of course, what he did in junior high and what he’s doing in high school are basically the same. // <Extracurricular activities that are borderline illegal> // <Flung the law to the other side and fighting it> // However, it seems there’s a big difference in his motivations. // <It’s a miracle he stayed alive to enter high school>

Commie: That said, // while there’s not much of a difference in what he did then and what he does now, // <Barely legal extracurricular activities> // <He fought the law> // it seems to be an undeniable fact that there’s a large discrepancy in his motives. // <I’m pretty impressed he lived to become a high-schooler>

Failfest 2013 continues, but the biggest affronts to English come in the typesetting arena.  “Flung the law to the other side and fighting it”? Really, HorribleSubs? Come the fuck on.

HorribleSubs: He refuses to discuss what happened, even more than the events of spring break. // But it seems there was a mental turning point during 10th grade. // A cause for his “delinquencies” as he would put it.

Commie: I’m sure you’re wondering what happened to him. // He’s even more unwilling to talk about it than he is with spring break, // but apparently he reached a turning point back in his first year of high school. // I suppose you could call it “the reason he turned into a loser,” like he does.

I’m far more inclined to believe the HorribleSubs line as Commie’s “loser” bit comes way out of left field. Playing hooky makes a delinquent, not a loser.

Commie could stand to have a translator who knows what they’re doing in the group.

HorribleSubs: However, change or no change, Araragi is Araragi.

Commie: Either way, // regardless of whether or not he has changed, // Araragi’s still himself.

Not a huge difference between the groups here. But I’m inclined toward Commie’s version because I like how they break up the lines to match the quick scene changes.

HorribleSubs: He was composed when I met him, and though he’s completely different now, he’s still him.

Commie: The aloof Araragi I first met may seem like a completely different person now, // but he {\i1}is{\i0} still himself.

This hurts, but I guess “he’s still him” hurts more than “he is still himself”. So yeah, I pick the cancer over the AIDS.

HorribleSubs: And today, like any day, he’s on the move for some reason.

Commie: And as proof, it looks like he’s up to something as we speak.

Commie’s line doesn’t relate back to the previous scene as well as HorribleSubs’s does.

HorribleSubs: Ever since who-knows-when, I’ve been in love with such a person.

Commie: I fell in love with that guy before I even knew it.

No contest. “I’ve been in love with such a person” is pain incarnate.

HorribleSubs: Exactly when did it start? // I’ll talk about that a little bit later.

Commie: As for {\i0}when{\i1} that happened, // let’s save that story for another time.

We’ll take Commie’s line again. Their ending of “let’s save that story for another time” is a solid, tried-and-true way to end a section.

 

 

tl;dr

The Aniplex script is more contextually accurate, but Commie’s is more pleasant to read. Neither is good, but I’d say Commie came out ahead in this monologue.

 

 

 

Tiger vs. Cat (pre-fight)

13:00->14:30

HorribleSubs: Sawari Neko. No, not quite… // Not a Sawari Neko. But none other than that.

Commie: Curse Cat. // No, wait. // You’re not the Curse Cat. // But you’re not something else entirely, either.

I dunno if I’m all that into the Curse Cat translation. A show like Bake would do fine with leaving the term as Sawari Neko. But Commie’s “you’re not something else entirely, either” works a lot better than “but none other than that”.

I don’t even know what angle Daisuki was trying to go for there, but it bent the wrong way.

 

HorribleSubs: What are you? You are what? // Basically a Sawari Neko.

Commie: Who are you? // What are you? // The Curse Cat, more or less.

I felt the HorribleSubs line gave more character to the tiger’s lines. He talks very deliberately and the Aniplex script matched his pace of conversation.

HorribleSubs: To be precise, you got the details and fundamental concept wrong, but it’s not too far off.

Commie: Well, the purrticulars are a bit different, and so is the basic concept, // but you could say it’s not all that fur off the mark.

I’m not sure which is worse: completely ignoring Black Hanekawa’s purrsonality or making her lines groanpurrthy.

Litter puss hisst callpurr thiss meowne fur Comeowmie.

HorribleSubs: Really? It seems like I’m completely off.

Commie: Really? // You seem completely different to me.

The HorribleSubs pacing is better and segues better from the previous section.

HorribleSubs: The Sawari Neko apparition I know is very weak, and you wouldn’t know if it’s there or not. // But you…

Commie: The Curse Cat I know is a weak oddity with a complete lack of presence, // so much so that you can’t even tell if it’s there. // You, on the other hand…

Commie’s is more descriptive, so I’mma call this one for them.

 

HorribleSubs: Putting it that way, I can’t say much. // <There’s no way to counter that.> // Stuff happens, even for things like me. // <Something like a Sawari Neko is so insubstantial> // <that it’s more accurate to call it a ghost story—>

Commie: I don’t have a comeback to that, unfurtunately. // <Can’t argue with that> // Let’s just say that it’s complicated. // <Curse Cats> // <that meowbe we’re rather just odd stories, not oddities.>

Holy shit, Commie didn’t even stand a chance with those typeset translations. I guess they just gave up on the second one.

HorribleSubs: I see. Well, I couldn’t care less about you. // But I must ask what you want of me. // As the same type of apparition, you must know what it means to bar my path.

Commie: Oh. // Anyway, I don’t care about you. // But I suppose I should ask what you want from me. // You’re blocking my path. // Since you and I are the same type of oddity, I’m sure you know what that means.

Commie’s tiger characterization is pretty bad, but the HorribleSubs base phrasing is worse. I’ll call this one in favor of the HS characterization, but I can’t say I’m happy about it.

 

HorribleSubs: The same type? // I should be a completely different type of apparition from this guy. // <A cat and a tiger — that’s probably what he means.>

Commie: Same type? // I’m purretty sure we’re supposed to be completely different. // <A cat and a tiger—he must meown we’re simeowlar in that way>

Commie, you’re trying way too hard.

HorribleSubs: I really don’t intend to bar your path. // Then why do you stand there? // Well, just to warn you.

Commie: I didn’t mean to purrvent you from carrying on. // Then why are you standing there? // Oh, I just came here to warn you.

I guess. Not like there’s much of particular difference between the lines other than Commie’s characterization.

HorribleSubs: I couldn’t care less what you came to this town for. // And I don’t care what your duties are. // That’s how apparitions are.

Commie: I couldn’t care less about why you came to this town. // Your purrpose here doesn’t matter to me either. // That’s just how oddities like us are.

We’ll call “duties” more cringe-inducing a translation than “purpose here”.

HorribleSubs: But if you happen to cause any more harm to my mistress // I will kill you.

Commie: However, // if you hurt my meowster any more than you have already, // I’ll kill you.

>meowster

Goddammit, Commie.

 

 

tl;dr

Commie translated Black Hanekawa’s verbal tic to an annoying degree, but Aniplex didn’t even bother with it. In a weird reversal, Aniplex’s tiger characterization was decent, and Commie’s was entirely lacking. Base phrasing was better in Commie’s, but they clearly don’t know as much Japanese as they think they do.

When it comes down to picking the least bad script, I guess I’d go with the HorribleSubs version for this section. Fuck, I wish a good group was doing this show.

 

Next up: your call (vote)

Wonder if the other sections will paint a different picture than these did. I doubt it, but let’s see.