Fansub Review: [Commie] Monogatari Series Second Season (Episode 04)

July 28, 2013July 28, 2013 by Dark_Sage

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

And another nail into the coffin of fansubbing is pounded from the inside.

Release Information

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Results

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (235 MB, 10-bit)

Japanesiness: No honorifics. Loose understanding of how to actually localize a series.

English style: American English.

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/b6CFDDA9

Speed: Quick (<48 hours)

External links.

Group website: http://commiesubs.com/

IRC channel: #[email protected]

Visual Review

Karaoke.

Opening. If you’re going to roll pink, at least try to have an excuse for it. This shit didn’t match a single shade of it in the OP. Thematically I guess pink works, but it’s boring. At least Commie tried when they were subbing Nise (though their efforts sucked there as well).

Rating: Okay-.

Ending. I think their karaoke speaks for itself.

Rating: Terrible.

Typesetting.

Spoilered to protect the innocent.

Spoiler for

It was an appreciable effort although not particularly impressive. Not that this was necessarily Commie’s fault — it’s hard to impress when nearly every sign to typeset is just a static board. But when most of the effort is just copy-paste, perhaps you could put in a little extra effort to show typesetters have more value than just choosing the right color for fonts.

Script Review

I have absolutely no idea what Commie was going for here. Hard to recommend a line fix when the broken line is beyond repair.

Long? Wide? Tall? The fuck is the measurement?

See that little circle in the Japanese script? Yeah, Commie, that’s a period, so try for a complete sentence.

Where is this “However” coming from? There was nothing in the past 30 seconds the show’s been going for to indicate that it’s necessary here. Also, it’s not “things” that changed position. It’s one thing — the box of tissues, which the anime specifically points out. That’s why the typeset says “By about three millimeters.” — because only one thing moves.

Not off to a good start, Commie.

This is all supposed to be one complete thought. The only thing I see is lines completely devoid of it.

It’s not “Oh.” it’s “I see.” They’re similar, but the connotation is not the same — it’s an active thought, not a passive realization.

I mean, come on. This bitch is going full Detective Mode here. Give her some fucking credit.

That isn’t how you em-dash. This would be right if Hanekawa were to abruptly end her sentence and begin a new one. But “Into Black Hanekawa.” isn’t a new sentence; it’s a continuation of the previous one. So there’s no reason to capitalize the “Into”.

I guess that’s better than being assaulted.

No, no, no. You don’t shorten lines when they’re being said by a character talking with a firm, proper, matriarchal tone. Failed characterization.

“There’s just a bit of discord right now.” Hanekawa’s trying to reassure the Araragi matriarch that there’s nothing to worry about, but Commie’s line is worrisome. It’s so unsure of itself that it doesn’t even manage to make a point.

And I dunno if I’d even use “discord”, cuz…

Oh fuck you, this article’s long. You’re gonna need some music to get through it.

Not “girl”. Not “person”. Not “lass”, or “lady” or “lamb”, but “one”.

If only killing English triggered feedback similar to that in Shinsekai Yori.

Much better characterization than the Aniplex subs. Well done, Commie. For once in this release you did something praiseworthy.

Or, uhh… wait. I guess Commie doesn’t understand what a catchphrase is. Fantastic.

You mean today. “As of today, I’m only six years old.”

No. The phrase is “Don’t judge people by their appearances”. Nobody would say “Don’t judge humans by their appearances”. That’s Hong Kong-tier English right there.

Apparently fetal alcohol syndrome affects one’s ability to edit. Who’da thunk it?

I already pointed out this issues in the HorribleSubs release, and just because Commie truncated from the right doesn’t mean this line is right.

Lengthen the first line and then cut the lengthener rather than reduce the second to unintelligibility.

Why on Lucifer’s green Earth would you do this? Do not fucking accent the “own” here.

“Because it’s your problem.”

Wrong tense. It’s “Don’t tell me you didn’t know.” along the lines of “Don’t tell me you didn’t know you were in love with Araragi.”

It actually doesn’t, but I’m not gonna hold that against ya on this one. Props for trying, Commie. Have a gold star.

My, Commie, your ignorance of tenses must be bliss.

“at will”? That doesn’t even make sense. If you can manipulate something “at will”, that means you can manipulate however and whenever you want. Obviously, that doesn’t make sense since Gaen only interacted with Hanekawa for a minute.

Senjo’s saying Hanekawa is being manipulated by Gaen’s words from earlier, not by Gaen somehow (figuratively) hovering over her with puppet strings. Goddamn, this is pathetic. I shouldn’t need to play English teacher for fansubbers. Show some basic literary competency, you shitfucks.

Like I told Aniplex, the word you’re looking for is “convenient”.

It’s “screwed-up” and you don’t overcome predicaments. You get out of them.

Just think for one goddamn second before you write your lines.

Easy there, Commie. I think you’re coming down with a bout of redundancy.

Nice double space to… not match the Japanese. And way to ignore the period. (A very common issue in this release — sometimes Commie noticed the period, sometimes they didn’t.)

The very nerve!

Ooh, I’d like to hear the difference between “dark” and “black” in this context and why each are considered separate sides. I guess Hanekawa is straight yang-yang?

Names and Tigers

You already read how I thought this shit should be handled. But how did Commie manage it?

The answer is very poorly.

They made up their own idiom — always a bad idea — couldn’t even keep the link to fire, and then fucked up the pun. There are only so many points I can give for effort, Commie, and I gave them all out to you long ago.

Results

Watchability: Watchable… barely

Visual grade: B

Script grade: F (It’s understandable but terrible.)

Overall grade: D-

This is a butchered localization attempt combined with a poor understanding of the English language. Everything is wrong and unnatural. The only redeeming thing in the release is the typesetting, and when that’s all your release has going for it, you need to re-evaluate your value as fansubbers and human beings.

Anyone with low enough standards to find this release acceptable would be better served by the HorribleSubs version, which comes out faster and doesn’t suck as bad. Skip this and go with the rips.

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26 thoughts on “Fansub Review: [Commie] Monogatari Series Second Season (Episode 04)”

Sai

July 28, 2013 at 10:27 pm

I wish a decent FanSub would do justice to this anime and others like it.
Reply
Solaristics

July 28, 2013 at 10:36 pm

Welp.. That’s interesting.
Reply
abc

July 28, 2013 at 11:16 pm

Yeah, that hystery thing was just nonsensical. Really unfortunate no one good’s subbing this.
Reply
temp_late

July 28, 2013 at 11:38 pm

By concatenated, you mean truncated, right?

“There’s a little discord, I guess?” [Commie] vs. “There’s just a bit of discord right now.” [D_S]

I’m not so convinced. Or at least, not without a second opinion from a TL. Commie’s line sounds like she’s questioning herself, trying to convince herself, wanting to be more polite (very East Asian, huh?), or something like that. Considering that she’s averting her gaze and looking down for the line after that, some of those interpretations could be plausible. I think.

But I think it could well be excessive or not even correct. As it is, the subs have quite an abrupt shift in tone that doesn’t seem to be reflected in the audio. Maybe just switch the question mark on the “I guess?” to a period if you want a little bit of doubt there.
Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  July 28, 2013 at 11:51 pm
  
  Fixed.
  
  And no, Commie’s line is definitely wrong. The lines don’t flow right.
  
  >Sorry I made you worry.
  >But my family circumstances aren’t as complicated as you think.
  >There’s a little discord, I guess?
  
  So how the fuck does the third line fit in?
  
  It needs to be a sensible response first and then you can worry about the questioning. Change “discord” to “disagreement” and if you’re a natural speaker, you’ll understand where I’m coming form.
  
  Maybe you’d prefer “We’re just having a small disagreement, you could say.” I’d be fine with that; the original line just needs to go.
  Reply
  - temp_late
    
    July 29, 2013 at 12:44 am
    
    With respect to flow, there are problems for sure. That’s definitely not a natural way of putting it. My main point was a beef with the rewrite’s interpretation and not really a defense of whatever it is Commie’s doing.
    
    That said, it’s the kind of show where some affected language could be appropriate, especially if it can give a connotation or meaning not easily achieved with more natural phrasing (though admittedly, that’s not too much the case here). In some sense, I like “discord”. In any case, it would be better reworded even with “discord”.
    
    But the rest of the release doesn’t exactly make a good case for awkward phrasing being intentionally that way.
    
    Btw the second rewrite (“We’re…”) is 54 characters for 1.67 seconds.
    Reply
Ryuk

July 28, 2013 at 11:49 pm

Now that I think about this… Monogatari should be a easy show to typeset.
Reply
kokujin-kun

July 29, 2013 at 12:26 am

Well at least someone will do a decent BD release, right?

*crickets*
Reply
fnord

July 29, 2013 at 5:16 am

Your rendition of the kanji explanation is worse. A lot worse. I don’t even know what you’re on about with the fire business so early in the conversation. What you wrote for rust isn’t funny, either.
Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  July 29, 2013 at 7:38 am
  
  Considering you’re the TL responsible for Commie’s C3, I wouldn’t even trust your feedback on how to translate an alphabet.
  Reply
  - fnord
    
    July 29, 2013 at 7:42 am
    
    Whatever gives you comfort.
    Reply
    - Dark_Sage
      
      July 29, 2013 at 7:51 am
      
      With a response like that, even I’m feeling a bit of the joy.
      Reply
      - fnord
        
        July 29, 2013 at 8:02 am
        
        Glad I could give your life meaning.
        Reply
        
        Dark_Sage
        
        July 29, 2013 at 8:11 am
        
        I don’t know if I’d go that far. I think we can settle on “entertainment”.
        Reply
        
        fnord
        
        July 29, 2013 at 8:26 am
        
        If that’s all it takes to entertain you, you must be a lucky man. Beati pauperes spiritu.
        Reply
      - Tekshi
        
        July 30, 2013 at 6:07 am
        
        Is that some dangan ronpa reference?
        Reply
        
        Dark_Sage
        
        July 30, 2013 at 8:54 am
        
        Correct. I’m nothing if not topical. Dark_Sage: apply directly to your heart.
        Reply
        
        Zeta
        
        July 30, 2013 at 3:01 pm
        
        > I’m anything if not topical.
        You mean “nothing if not topical”, right? What you have doesn’t really make sense.
        The pun is nice, though.
        
        As for the review, I wish some group would just hurry up and produce some decent subs for all the monogatari’s. I have yet to see any of them, as I get the feeling I’ll miss out on at least half the fun regardless of which subs I pick.
        Reply
        
        Dark_Sage
        
        July 30, 2013 at 6:44 pm
        
        Oh fuck me you’re right. Fixed.
        
        Nise has good subs at least, so… there’s that.
        Reply
cautr

July 29, 2013 at 6:36 am

sigh, wanting to watch this show’s gonna be a pain in the ass. There rly isn’t any group one can put all his hope in, right? Is this undersubbed ’cause of its difficulty?
Reply
Akatsukin

July 29, 2013 at 11:35 am

Just a couple comments on two parts I think weren’t quite so bad as you put.

http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Commie-Monogatari-Series-Second-Season-04-5EBDF02D.mkv_snapshot_00.26_2013.07.28_16.33.20.jpg
I’m not an expert on how people usually refer to their foot size in Japanese, but the sign only says “23.5 foot/feet”. Nothing about length, width, or even the mention of centimeters. I assume that it was just so obvious by the context that it didn’t need saying, so I don’t think you can fault commie for that one.

http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Commie-Monogatari-Series-Second-Season-04-5EBDF02D.mkv_snapshot_05.48_2013.07.28_17.43.42.jpg
I don’t have the audio on me right now, but seeing how blondie is looking down on Hanekawa, it doesn’t seem so strange to have him call her “one” instead of “person”. He seems to only recognize her by the oddity she contains, and if I understood what happened the curse cat is out of commission right now. Putting the use of “person” aside, he probably doesn’t even care enough to be aware of her gender or anything else.
Reply
- Cyst
  
  July 29, 2013 at 12:05 pm
  
  It’s actually the shoe size (see http://www.i18nguy.com/l10n/shoes.html to see how it matches up to your country). Absolutely everybody involved in this conversation gets a clay star for effort.
  Reply
  - Dark_Sage
    
    July 29, 2013 at 12:10 pm
    
    claymore :(
    Reply
Dodgers

July 30, 2013 at 8:45 am

I’m not provicient in the japanese language at all so I have no idea how this line goes in its original language, but the “The fact that it got this bad is unnatural, even for me” translation seems to make sense in the context that she said this line while she was in “narrator mode”, referring to the impression that skipping 26 chapters was too much even for her, who got somewhat used to the smaller amounts of skipped chapters. I have no idea if Node is any closer to the original script or not, but their interpretation is a bit more obvious version of Commie’s line given their translation fairly much pinpointed the skipped 26 chapters as the source of Hanekawa’s impression of it being unnatural.
Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  July 30, 2013 at 8:56 am
  
  It doesn’t matter if you know a lick of Japanese or not, the line doesn’t make sense in English. “unnatural” is the problem, and tying “even for me” into it makes it even worse.
  Reply
  - sage_in_all_fields
    
    August 1, 2013 at 2:07 am
    
    I thought it was because it’s natural (expected) for her, and things revolving around her, to be strange, but not to be _this_ strange.
    Reply