There’s a scene in here that I ended up writing a whole other article about. So read the addendum if you’re interested in that shit.
Table of Contents
Release Information
Episode details.
Release format: MKV (175 MB, 10-bit)
Japanesiness: No honorifics OR honorifics (depending on script subtitle choice). “Senpai” used regardless, but “onii-chan”, etc. is translated.
English style: American English.
Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/cfBDcdAt
Speed: Quick (<48 hours)
Visual Review
Karaoke.
Opening/Ending. No karaoke because Daisuki hates black people.
Typesetting.
This is a -monogatari, so there are a shitton of signs. I’ll divvy ’em up into what was typeset and what wasn’t.
Non-typeset:
Typeset:
Let me save you the time of browsing through all those signs: most everything was “typeset” by shoving the translations for the scenes to the top of the screen, with no attempt to match the color or design of the Japanese signs. But at least most everything important was translated.
Other.
If you watched this show on Daisuki.net, you’d be presented with this shit:
So just be glad HorribleSubs didn’t do a straight rip on this one.
Script Review
Main Script.
Gonna chalk this one up as suitable with a direct translation. The point of this scene is Hanekawa is checking all over her body to see if what she suspects is true — that Black Hanekawa took over her body and went somewhere last night. She discovers it is by examining underneath her fingernails and finding evidence in dirt that wouldn’t be there normally. So in order to properly localize this, you’d need to find an acceptable idiom that deals with fingernails and proof/evidence of wrong-doing.
Because there aren’t any that’d fit, you’d be best off by just translating it straight here. So that’s good.
My complaint with this line lies in the “when they say”/”they weren’t” mismatch of tenses.
say ->said
That second screen has got to go.
“But they’re so cute about it that I couldn’t even consider it an annoyance.”
And you’ve Englished in a strange way too. I don’t even know what sentiment is trying to be conveyed with the second sentence because it’s nonsensical as-is.
Way to go, Aniplex.
Aniplex’s way of rendering this guy’s phrasing quirk into “totally makes me laugh” totally makes me laugh.
That shit’s more painful to read than Sonic fanfics. Honestly, it’s as bad as making his line “I really laugh out loud!”
Try something different for his lines. For example, “So a long life span necessarily makes me old? What a joke!”
Nearly killing her is something he owes her? What?
The context of these signs dictates that it would make more sense for him to feel like he owes her something because he tried to kill her once.
“Dramathurgy” doesn’t bring up any results when I check it out. Try http://bakemonogatari.wikia.com/wiki/Dramaturgie
Agreed. Try “Following that thought”//”probably won’t lead to anything good.” Similar sentiment, better phrasing.
There’s a weird mix of “senpai” and “upperclassmen” here. Also, it’d be “an upperclassman”.
“Said it” is piss-poor sentence shortening. Make the original sentence longer and change “She said it.” into the abbreviated form of the sentence. Maybe go with “She distinctly said it.” to give the line enough meat to cut off.
It would be “An apparition”, not “The apparition”.
Maybe throw the sign TL as something like “Ignorance begets ignorance”. But if that’s too clever a translation for ya, go with “It’s ignorant to recognize one’s ignorance” and make the bottom line something like “It’s not wise to recognize one’s own ignorance. Rather, it’s ignorant.”
Great joke, Daisuki. If you keep it up, maybe the waptards that find this kind of translation acceptable will choke on their own bile when they find themselves laughing at your next jokes.
Senjo’s trying to say Hanekawa’s being deceived. The Aniplex line is too awkward about it, though.
“I get the impression this Gaen lady is taking you for a ride.”
How is this clever? I think you wanted “convenient”. The whole second screen is broken though.
“It’d be a bit too convenient for Gaen to have no direct relation to Kanbaru.”
How does danger “accompany” it? That’s completely different from the tiger itself being dangerous, which is the real issue here.
So much but here, you’d think Sir Mix-a-Lot had a stuttering problem.
“If you asked if that’s typical of Araragi, then yes, it’s typical of Araragi.”
Come on.
“I was chatting casually with someone who tried to kill me.”
“That’s the kind of story you can’t make up.”
Scriptwriting is not so fucking hard. Even an Aniplex translator could manage it if they put their mind to it. But that would take accepting their own ignorance first, and as we’ve learned from this episode, that probably isn’t so great an idea.
Anime: Better morals than Aesop since 1996.
Results
Watchability: Watchable.
Visual grade: F (most every sign’s translated, but that has nothing to do with visual appeal)
Script grade: C-
Overall grade: D
As a full product, this release doesn’t have much going for it. Unfortunately, much like Nekomonogatari and Bakemonogatari, you don’t have a good subtitle option for this series.
And that’s a damn shame, because it deserves a hell of a lot better.
Good one DS
You’re a quick reader.
It’s not that hard.
I disagree. It’s pretty hard right now.
We would all prefer you’d keep the comments about your penis to your waifu and yourself.
It’s sad how a show that’s defining quality is its dialog attracted a supposedly “professional” company that doesn’t seem willing to put effort into properly localizing dialog.
Yeah, this sounds about right. I know I gave them a B, but this grade is closer to what I would have given them for the entire presentation, even if they did have beautiful typesetting.
I don’t get it… why don’t we have more options for decent subs. Do all the best fansub groups just dislike this series or something? Maybe it’s just bad timing.
Simulcast shows = certain groups just don’t care since there are subs for it from an official source at 1 hour or less after airing in Japan.
Well, because both Commie and HS suck, I’ll wait for better BD release(I really hope that someone will re-translate this show).