Fansub Review: [Vivid] Kamisama no Inai Nichiyoubi (Episode 05)

August 14, 2013 by Dark_Sage

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

There’s a Solomon Grundy joke in here somewhere that I couldn’t quite figure out.

Release Information

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Results

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (341 MB, 10-bit)

Japanesiness: No honorifics.

English style: American English.

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/9ny2yGW3

Speed: Quick (<48 hours)

External links.

Group website: http://commiesubs.com/

IRC channel: #[email protected]

Visual Review

Karaoke.

Opening. I get that the yellow is intended to match the yellow script in the beginning of the episode, but when that script’s color changes, then why doesn’t Vivid’s English script? The conflicting colors in various screens can get distracting.

Rating: Okay+.

Ending. The color stands out to be noticeable during the pre-ED section, but not enough to detract from what’s being shown on the screen. It also fits relatively well with the ED’s background.

Rating: Good.

Typesetting.

Cool typeset. Sort of reminds of Touched By An Angel. Sort of. And fuck you, don’t hate, I wasn’t afforded a lot of viewing choices when I was a kid.

Not really enough typesetting to really affect the score.

Other.

Encoded by the best.

Script Review

Karaoke.

“bliss” is a very shitty term to use here. You’re looking for “happiness”, since that’s about the best people can hope for in this ~~show’s~~ world. Did your translator even watch the show?

Personification of dreams makes no sense for this song.

I get the feeling the TL wrote “lie” here and some retarded editor wrote in “sleep” instead. I choose to believe this because if I were to realize that multiple people arrived at this line, I may just lose all faith in humanity.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. If the song is being sung from the perspective of the main character, the “I’ll let them see my radiance” bit is off. She’s not arrogant or really even self-aware at all. And if she were performing miracles (up to the viewer to decide), she wouldn’t be aware of it. She just does what she does.

I’m really getting the feeling your translator didn’t know what subject matter he (she?) was dealing with when he translated the song at first. Assuming you give a shit about this series, I’d suggest a rewrite.

I don’t even know where this would come from.

Main Script.

Messy.

Well, this isn’t wrong, but I wouldn’t say they’re following best practices here. The first line and the second are clearly part of the same sentence, which is why it makes more sense to represent them as such than individual lines like Vivid did.

“I did what I could about the van, but when I came back…”//”you were gone.

Alt: “I did what I could about the van, but when I came back…”//”…you were gone.

Yeah, like that. Now you’ve got it!

For such a precisely structured sentence, it’s awkward not to end it in “well”. If you’re trying to get across more childish/simplistic language, try something more along the lines of “Are you feeling better yet?”

Characterization mismatch. The witch would sound better without contractions.

Remember, this chick is super smart and speaking from a position of authority here. You don’t characterize people like that with slang.

You should be putting a comma before quotes. But I don’t particularly agree with that practice, so I’m not gonna hold it against ya. Lucky you. Caly wouldn’t be so kind if she were reviewing this.

Based on the comments in Vivid’s release, this is apparently supposed to be a pun?

The Lacking Pentagram.{lacking body parts}{TLC I’m not gonna touch these lines, because I have no idea how they should be edited. If it’s really awkward and it comes back later, we can just change it for the batch. Agreed?}

Assuming that’s accurate, why not “The star that lacks parts” (cuz the original five lost body parts to give to Kiriko)? No, it doesn’t sound good, but it’s not nonsensical like the existing lines are, and there’s not much you can do when Japan pulls shit like this. And at least I wouldn’t have to dive into your fucking script to understand what was being said.

How many exceptions can I make for you, Vivid?

If you’re going to list something off, there’s punctuation for that: it’s called a colon.

“This”? You mean “He”. Even in a world without gods, people haven’t been reduced to objects.

Her name is “Ulla Eulesse Hecmatika”. He’s flipping out over loli-chan calling Ulla by her first name.

Sorry, but if subs were understandable only in context and inaccurate elsewise, we wouldn’t need subtitles. Write it right and keep your tears to yourself.

FLag, Hatsuyuki, and HorribleSubs each had “That’s cheating” here instead of “That’s unfair”.

FLag, Hatsuyuki, and HorribleSubs each had it right. Vivid’s version is missing the point.

You ever get the feeling that you’re the only fansubber that understands how to use italics? Because I do, in every goddamn review.

only

Although most inclusions of “just” in fansub scripts serve to merely dumb them down, this one actively interferes with it. “I couldn’t let her die.” is perfect as-is. Throwing “just” in there turns it into an awkward buffet of buffoonery.

( ¬‿¬) x2

( ¬‿¬)

(You should have italicized the “was”, though.)

( ¬‿¬)

Okay, you get the fucking picture. These puns are subtle enough that they’re not gonna get in your way if you’re not actively looking for them, but if you are, they will probably enhance your experience.

If you’re observant and hate puns inserted into the script, though, you may not want to watch Vivid’s version.

Results

Watchability: Watchable.

Visual grade: B

Script grade: B-

Overall grade: B-

Regardless of the failings listed here, Vivid’s release has a very strong shot at coming out the best of class for Kaminichiyoubi (a B- is a pretty strong score for this show). But it ain’t over till the fansubber sings, so we’ll see what happens when I throw out the Hatsuyuki and FLag reviews tomorrow (assuming I can keep to the schedule).

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34 thoughts on “Fansub Review: [Vivid] Kamisama no Inai Nichiyoubi (Episode 05)”

Blah

August 14, 2013 at 8:43 am

>Group website: http://commiesubs.com/

.-.
Reply
- VEGETA
  
  August 14, 2013 at 10:44 am
  
  everyone notice these things ^_^
  Reply
- Black Shads
  
  August 14, 2013 at 10:44 am
  
  ( ¬‿¬)
  Reply
- Mitsukai
  
  August 14, 2013 at 11:38 am
  
  ( ¬‿¬) is the response for everything now.
  Reply
- Solaristics
  
  August 14, 2013 at 6:08 pm
  
  ( ¬‿¬). Sorry, just had to join in.
  Reply
  - Ryuk
    
    August 14, 2013 at 6:47 pm
    
    ( ¬‿¬)
    Reply
PolynAzn

August 14, 2013 at 9:33 am

mfw ( ¬‿¬)
Reply
Humanity

August 14, 2013 at 9:40 am

Touched by an Angel… well THAT takes me back.
Reply
raingod

August 14, 2013 at 9:58 am

Is this any good? No anime line-up at the moment.
Reply
- corocoro
  
  August 14, 2013 at 10:16 am
  
  It’s excellent with good potential to become best anime of the season.
  Reply
  - zanon
    
    August 14, 2013 at 5:48 pm
    
    This. Absolutely suggest watching at least 3 or 4 eps of, and it’s stayed strong since. If they manage to keep this up it’ll be very good.
    
    Also if you’ve managed to avoid spoilers so far then try to just go watch it without reading anymore threads. This one is worth a bit of trouble to avoid spoilers if you can. LN master race apparently can’t help themselves either.
    Reply
fnord

August 14, 2013 at 10:04 am

Care to explain in a little more detail what you think is wrong with the songs?
Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  August 14, 2013 at 11:22 am
  
  Sure. (People who have NOT watched the first three episodes, turn away from this discussion.)
  
  http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Vivid-Kamisama-no-Inai-Nichiyoubi-05-42E945F7.mkv_snapshot_01.16_2013.08.13_11.43.49.jpg
  
  My problem with this is the word choice. “bliss” is a very strong term to use.
  
  “What is true happiness?” (or if there’s another toned-down term you like, go with that) would be better, since what I got from this line is that it mirrors the purpose of Ai’s quest — she’s trying to answer that question (and others — it’s a journey of finding answers, and hopefully eating delicious keikis). But there can be no bliss in a world abandoned by god. There can happiness, there can be love, there can be all sorts of most excellent things, but the true meaning of the word — both in the physical, ecstatic sense and the spiritual sense — doesn’t fit within the confines of Kamisama’s world.
  
  There are very limited sections of understanding the line in which “bliss” may be accurate — that is, the meaning of death and the acceptance thereof as it applies to various characters in the series, and the magic of friendship — but I’m not willing to accept such a narrow interpretation unless there’s clear evidence for it, since not all the dead are content with death, and the friendship theme isn’t quite fleshed out enough that I can see where it’s going.
  Reply
  - fnord
    
    August 14, 2013 at 12:59 pm
    
    Well, I agree. That is why the next line says (copying from pad and hoping the release is the same):
    
    “There is nobody here
    who knows the answer to that”
    
    If you put happiness the line before, it would seem like the entire world is engulfed in grief and agony.
    
    The point is precisely that some people are happy, but that true bliss does not exist. Nobody could tell you what true bliss is like.
    
    The line doesn’t really refer to her quest; it’s a description of the world, together with the two lines that follow and which I have pasted above.
    Reply
    - Dark_Sage
      
      August 14, 2013 at 1:32 pm
      
      I didn’t take the “There is nobody here who knows the answer to that” as a rejection of bliss of as a concept, but rather literally as exactly what it says. I might sort of see where you were going with this if you dropped the “here” from it, but even then I’m not taking it as a refutation of bliss as a concept, since if anything, it’d just be a confession of ignorance “I don’t know what bliss is”, which does not mean bliss itself doesn’t exist.
      
      Mm, perhaps I should phrase this another way.
      “What is true bliss?” There is bliss, but the speaker doesn’t know what its “true” version is.
      “What is true happiness?” There is happiness, but the speaker doesn’t know what its “true” version is.
      
      I think we can both agree there is no bliss, or at least that bliss is not so heavily portrayed so much as happiness is, in this series.
      Reply
      - fnord
        
        August 14, 2013 at 1:38 pm
        
        You could make the distinction between “happiness” and “true happiness” if you wish, but isn’t it clearer with “bliss”? I felt it would be. The question of what true bliss is is merely rhetorical; it’s there to be answered with “Nobody here (in this world) could tell you”.
        
        It would take much closer inspection by the reader to see the nuanced difference between happiness and true happiness.
        Reply
        
        Dark_Sage
        
        August 14, 2013 at 2:10 pm
        
        I think “true” affects both “bliss” and “happiness” the same, so I’m not seeing where that comes in as a reason to forgo “happiness”.
        
        I mostly just don’t see bliss being something that’s seen as possible in a world abandoned by god, yet alone true bliss. I might be more inclined to work with bliss if everything after the first arc focuses on the broken utopias of the world, with people being happy at first and then the grim reality of the situation sinking in, but that would only be in the sense of someone looking at the whole picture and saying “yes, that’s what the series is about”. I think it’s too specific and would rather pull it back a bit to avoid calling things that may or may not actually be there.
        Reply
  - Hawaiifag
    
    August 14, 2013 at 2:24 pm
    
    I thought you said “eating children” for a second :(
    Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  August 14, 2013 at 11:56 am
  
  http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Vivid-Kamisama-no-Inai-Nichiyoubi-05-42E945F7.mkv_snapshot_01.28_2013.08.14_03.32.55.png
  
  I don’t even know what you’re going for here with “sleep”. Perhaps you could explain how dreams could sleep “broken and ravaged”. I’m almost 100% sure you meant “lie” here.
  Reply
  - fnord
    
    August 14, 2013 at 1:13 pm
    
    This is a literal translation of 眠る (to sleep) and 荒れ果てた (broken, ravaged, desolate). When I saw you criticized this line, I knew what the issue was. I was sort of on the fence whether this translates literally to English, and in the end decided it does. Earlier I asked some people on IRC and got only a mixed response, so yeah. The meaning is “everyone only has jaded dreams left, and even those have been put on hold”. ‘Lie’ doesn’t really do the trick; the implication of stasis has to be stronger.
    
    This line may well have been too obscure in English, but the metaphor isn’t common in Japanese either.
    Reply
    - Dark_Sage
      
      August 14, 2013 at 1:49 pm
      
      I’m still set on “lie” then. Taken visually, you’d get the sense that dreams were discarded haphazardly throughout the wilderness, and you also get stasis from it, at least in the sense of the dreams biding their time. “sleep” is too peaceful and doesn’t allow for a visual sense of the line.
      
      Also, if the meaning was supposed to be “jaded” dreams, I’d use “corrupted” or even “jaded” rather than “broken and ravaged” since that makes me think the dreams are that way because they were beset upon by others rather than changed from within.
      Reply
      - fnord
        
        August 14, 2013 at 2:07 pm
        
        Maybe “lie dormant” would be a good compromise. I definitely want some kind of nature analogy here, so “blighted dreams lie dormant”?
        Reply
        
        Dark_Sage
        
        August 14, 2013 at 2:22 pm
        
        “lie dormant” is perfect. If the adjective for dreams has to be natural, perhaps something like “warped”, “tainted”, “tarnished”, or “defiled” might give the right imagery. If those aren’t strong enough, “blighted” would work, though if I were to read that line as a new viewer, I’d like the context as to why blighted was used as the adjective.
        
        I almost want to say “abandoned dreams lie dormant”, but I fear that strays too much from the meaning.
        Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  August 14, 2013 at 12:00 pm
  
  http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Vivid-Kamisama-no-Inai-Nichiyoubi-05-42E945F7.mkv_snapshot_01.41_2013.08.14_03.38.09.jpg
  http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Vivid-Kamisama-no-Inai-Nichiyoubi-05-42E945F7.mkv_snapshot_01.50_2013.08.14_03.38.25.jpg
  
  I took out of the song that it’s being sung from Ai’s perspective. The use of “my” indicates it’s coming from *one* of the main characters, and I’m not seeing anyone else who would fit the bill. This is problematic because it’s out of character for Ai to say either of those lines (arrogant and self-aware don’t describe her).
  Reply
  - fnord
    
    August 14, 2013 at 1:22 pm
    
    It’s anyone’s guess who sings this song, but the people who write the song lyrics usually haven’t read the source material. They just get a synopsis and shit. There are exceptions; Kajiura lyrics are often really obviously about whatever goes on in the show, and Hata Aki wrote some sweet lyrics for Katanagatari way back when. That’s not the rule, however.
    
    I can’t really do much about this line. It’s what it says in Japanese; there’s not really any room for interpretation.
    Reply
    - Dark_Sage
      
      August 14, 2013 at 1:39 pm
      
      Hatsuyuki had “You are the last hope and miracle…”//”Once again, shine your brilliance onto this world.”
      FLag had “The last hope and miracle”//”Once again, release that spark into the world”
      
      I can’t say I’m a fan of their phrasing skills, but what I’m getting from the base of their lines is a lot more palatable. Is the “my” ownership absolutely a given here? Because if not, I’m far more inclined to their interpretations, since it would mean I’m not envisioning Ai as the singer, saying she can perform miracles.
      Reply
      - fnord
        
        August 14, 2013 at 1:52 pm
        
        Hatsuyuki is completely wrong; it’s unthinkable that this line describes a person. There is no conceivable implied verb which would modify the sentence to this end.
        
        FLag is arguable. If you say it fits better, then sure.
        
        I only watched the first episode of this show :<
        Reply
        
        Dark_Sage
        
        August 14, 2013 at 2:03 pm
        
        Perhaps a combination of FLag’s and yours would be fine then. As long as the miracles are shifted away from anything resembling self-promotion, we’re good.
        
        And three episodes is all I ask, you bastard. It’s worth the extra 40 minutes you’ll have to throw into it.
        Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  August 14, 2013 at 12:00 pm
  
  http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Vivid-Kamisama-no-Inai-Nichiyoubi-05-42E945F7.mkv_snapshot_23.23_2013.08.14_03.46.37.jpg
  
  How would “life and death” make someone tremble? The line is confusing.
  Reply
  - fnord
    
    August 14, 2013 at 1:27 pm
    
    Yeah, it is. I agree.
    
    Maybe “the contrast between life and death” or something like that.
    Reply
    - Dark_Sage
      
      August 14, 2013 at 1:34 pm
      
      I’d be down with that. Well, at least in the sense it wouldn’t be something I’d complain about.
      Reply
Ryuk

August 14, 2013 at 1:11 pm

As the typesetter for FLag, I gotta be honest here. FLag’s title sign’s positioning was really copied from Vivid ’cause I watched their release and couldn’t really find a better way to do it.

BTW, talking about this sign:
http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Vivid-Kamisama-no-Inai-Nichiyoubi-05-42E945F7.mkv_snapshot_00.46_2013.08.13_11.42.56.jpg
Reply
uhhhh

August 15, 2013 at 4:06 pm

Is vivid’s encoding worse than other groups? The OP sounds pretty bad in the bassy guitar riffs, but I assumed that was the show’s fault.
Reply
- duplex
  
  August 15, 2013 at 8:50 pm
  
  Assuming Vivid’s encoder isn’t totally brain dead and didn’t transcode the audio, it’s definitely from the source.
  Reply

Fansub Review: [Vivid] Kamisama no Inai Nichiyoubi (Episode 05)

Table of Contents

Release Information

Episode details.

External links.

Visual Review

Karaoke.

Typesetting.

Other.

Script Review

Karaoke.

Main Script.

( ¬‿¬) x2

( ¬‿¬)

( ¬‿¬)

Results

34 thoughts on “Fansub Review: [Vivid] Kamisama no Inai Nichiyoubi (Episode 05)”

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