Okay, let’s power through TWGOK and get to some shows worth watching.
Table of Contents
Release Information
Episode details.
Release format: MKV (342 MB, 10-bit)
Japanesiness: No honorifics on default script. Honorifics included in secondary script, solely to steal Chihiro’s god-given downloads.
English style: American English.
Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/1w6VuDqr
Speed: Quick (4 hours)
External links.
Group website: N/A
IRC channel: #[email protected]
Visual Review
Karaoke.
Opening. That line pop-in is liable to give someone an epileptic seizure. And where the fuck is the logic in the coloring scheme? Come on.
Rating: Bad.
Ending. Generally, the point of coloring karaoke is that it should make sense. Vivid missed that with both the OP and ED.
Rating: Okay.
Typesetting.
The typesetting ranges from the forgettable to the unfortunately not so.
Script Review
Karaoke.
Vivid, that’s not how you simile. “white feathers gathering” have nothing to do with “burning”, “love”, or “strength”.
Main Script.
Humorous, but not exactly in his character to say.
Not get very far as-is.
Is the point of this scene to show disjointed logic leaps and an inability to think clearly? If not, then you need to rewrite it so the two final lines are linked.
“Regardless, he’s still the same person on the inside.”
Simple fix.
Redundant. Letting things stand necessarily implies staticism. Either cut out “the way they are” or, more preferably, change “stand” to “stay”.
We already understand it’s a mystery to her, given the convenient use of the question mark in the first line.
“When did Earth’s male and female clothing styles reverse?”//”I’ll need to look into this.”
This may be what Keima said, but it doesn’t have to sound so bad.
CMS had “Try falling from the sky to make a better entrance.” which although I’m not thrilled with, is a lot better than what Vivid has.
I’d personally make it more biting and play with the words. “Falling from the sky, for example, would leave a better imprint.”
Results
Watchability: Watchable.
Visual grade: C+
Script grade: B
Overall grade: B
A rather solid release for the four hours of effort put into it. Imagine what they could’ve done with five.
http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Vivid-The-World-God-Only-Knows-Goddesses-Arc-05-CD499C6E.mkv_snapshot_06.37_2013.08.19_22.11.14.jpg
Either I’ve misread your comment completely (it seems a bit of a jumble of words) or you’ve missed the glaring omission of a word between “try” and “assume”.
You must try proofread more, D_S.
Pretty sure I didn’t miss it.
>Not get very far as-is.
Is this really an understandable phrase in American? I could understand “Not got” though without the address, it reads more like you’re trying to change the last part of the sentence than a scathing attack on Vivid’s ability to have a full complement of words in a sentence.
Or maybe not even the address – just a “Didn’t get” formation.
It’s not supposed to be particularly understandable. It was commentary on the Vivid line.
Usually for lines like those where the line is missing one word, resulting in a ruined sentence, I also eliminate one word from my response to the line. Then everyone’s like “Oh, I get it. Dark_Sage mimicked them and now I see the issue.” For this line, I opted for a similar, but not exact, response whereby I mimicked its garbled, sort-of understandable language with my own. The normal version of the line would be “You didn’t get very far as-is.” which is a humorous play on the “we’ll never get anywhere” ending to Vivid’s line. That seemed too vanilla, though, so I switched it up.
>If I assume the player’s role,
>we’ll never get anywhere.
Crunchy’s original line. 0/10, see me after class.
Yeah, I accidentally left out one word across seven episodes when rewording stuff at the last minute. Sudoku time.