Fansub Review: [FFF] Unbreakable Machine-Doll (Episode 04)

November 13, 2013November 7, 2013 by Dark_Sage

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

“More reviews? Dammit, Sage, I wanted more Youmacon posts!” Don’t worry; I’ll get on that soon enough.

Release Information

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Results

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (447 MB, 10-bit)

Japanesiness: No honorifics.

English style: British English.

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/2QcrgUAi

Speed: Quick (<48 hours)

Translation style: Original TL.

External links.

Group website: http://fffansubs.org/

IRC channel: #[email protected]

Visual Review

Karaoke.

Opening. I definitely dig the use of spinning gears in the karaoke. Thematically relevant, they’re noticeable, but not annoyingly so. Gotta say it makes for an enjoyable karaoke.

Rating: Good.

Ending. I really, really like absurd karaoke that plays along with what Japan’s doing to the visuals. So yeah, I love that you guys put a ridiculous amount of time and effort into creating wacky karaoke. BUT that only matters so long as the karaoke is readable. People need to be able to understand the translation you put up, otherwise you may as well just have random symbols in the release instead.

From an entertainment perspective, this is great, but from an understandability one… not so much. Cut it back some, guys.

Rating: Okay+. I should give it a “Bad” since you can hardly read some of the lines, but I didn’t, so deal with it.

Typesetting.

Not applicable for this release.

Other.

As you can see, this release was uncensored.

For those who didn’t catch the last review, I’m not being facetious; Funimation’s version has censor flashes as you can see below:

Script Review

Karaoke.

I’d have read the ED karaoke to see if I needed to put anything in this section, but since it was fucking unreadable half the time, I guess I can’t.

Main Script.

No, no, no. How the fuck is him saying that she looks like a beaten wife going to make her ovaries tremble? I mean, just look at her fucking face after he says that:

She’s soaked and it’s not even raining. So you need to get across that he says something right there that makes her think “Wow, he’s so fucking manly, I want to cough his cumsauce up for a week.”

Hiryuu: “B-But you got hurt so badly because of me!” / “You’re the one who got hurt.” <- She’s talking about hurt physically and then he replies that she’s hurt emotionally. Chicks dig that emotion shit. Well played, Hiryuu.

HorribleSubs: “But… you got so badly hurt because of me…!” / “You’re the one who’s badly hurt.” <- Another pass. Let’s see what Commie had.

Commie: “But you got badly hurt because of me! You’re the one who’s badly hurt.” / “We’ll defeat him…” <- …Well, if Commie’s had been timed right, this would’ve been a good line. Way to ruin the scene, guys.

So an entire house renowned for living with a fuckton of automatons only has one dog that Charlotte’s fond of? Try “a” instead of “the”.

“But one day, a dog automaton that Charlotte was fond of”

You’d want to use “lands” instead of “territory” here, for a variety of reasons. Mainly that the imagery conveyed from “lands” is more physical than something more conceptual like territory.

Yes, I’m being pedantic. This is just a tip rather than something I’m holding against you.

It’d be more “seem” or “look” than “are” here, since Raishin obviously doesn’t know how difficult Sigmund actually is to control.

No, that’s not how you use “Hold your tongue”. That idiom is intended as a “Shut the fuck up” kinda statement — it’s 100% negative. But here, Raishin is telling Char to be quiet in a “Don’t worry your pretty little head; I’ve fucking got this” way.

“Just sit back and keep your eyes peeled.”/”I’ll destroy that ugly mask and let you see her face.”

You’re using “we” in the right sense, but you’re using it in the wrong way.

we -> you

ESLs, yes, you can use “we” in the sense of “you” sometimes. However, that’s an advanced level technique and I wouldn’t suggest using it until you get to native-tier. But if you wanna learn it now… well, Dark_Sage is here for ya.

You generally use it in a dismissive/talking down sense. e.g. “Well aren’t we just a little bundle of sunshine?”

Note that it isn’t necessarily negative. For example, a doctor talking to a child patient. “And how are we doing today, Michelle?”

There is quite a bit more to the word “we”, but in this specific usage, that’s about all there is to it. Just note that it’s a risky bet since you can easily underplay it like FFF did here, causing it to be wrong.

“Once the trick is revealed, “magic” is reduced to nothing more than a mere curiosity.” would be a better way to convey the point.

Roll the second into “It was only a matter of time before people found out what was going on.” so it makes sense.

This is supposed to be endearingly insulting. Shit isn’t endearing to anyone but coprophiliacs, so just leave it as “you maggot.”

The fuck’s a “Ban Doll”? That means absolutely nothing. Try “Banned Doll”.

Nobody uses “fella” in a serious manner like this.

Thinking so hard about something that it causes you to mature isn’t even a trope, so I’m not sure where you guys pulled this from.

Results

Watchability: Watchable.

Visual grade: B+

Script grade: B-

Overall grade: B-

This is a far better option than Funimation’s release. I’ll check out how well Hiryuu and Commie did next. Or maybe I’ll just throw more Youmacon shit at you. Who knows~

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16 thoughts on “Fansub Review: [FFF] Unbreakable Machine-Doll (Episode 04)”

Anon

November 7, 2013 at 11:43 am

I don’t really want to be the FFF defense force, but I’m going to point a few things out since they’re kind of bugging me.

>So an entire house renowned for living with a fuckton of automatons only has one dog? Try “a” instead of “the”.

This would be valid if they used the word “which” in their sentence, but they used “that”, instead, which is used to specify certain things out of a group. While the family could have had many dogs there may have been one that she was particularly close to.

For the “Ban Doll” thing they defined what a Ban Doll was in an earlier episode. Maybe “Banned Doll” would make more sense but as an in-world thing that would need an explanation, anyway, I’d say they have a bit more leeway in the translation.
Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  November 7, 2013 at 12:03 pm
  
  Hey man, if you think I’m wrong on anything, call me out on it. I designed the review format specifically for that. Worst case, we find ourselves at an impasse. Best case, we each learn something.
  
  1. This is true. Do tell me how using “a” means that she wasn’t more attached to that one than others. Keep in mind that Char’s character in this episode is revealed as someone who’s fucking all about her family/automatons. And also keep in mind that by using “the”, it indicates there are likely more dog automatons.
  
  This doesn’t mean she can’t be attached to one dog in particular, it just means the script needs to be written without ludicrous leaps of logic. I have slightly clarified my position in the review in case the confusion was a result of sloppy writing.
  
  2. I know what a Ban Doll is, I’m saying the terminology is fucked. Commie has “Forbidden Dolls”, Hiryuu has “Banned Dolls”, and HorribleSubs has “Banned Dolls”. The reason for that is in the name — the dolls are banned/forbidden. They are not “ban”.
  Reply
  - Anon
    
    November 7, 2013 at 2:03 pm
    
    Looking at the line, now, it does feel like they’re referring to a specific dog as if it was already brought up earlier in the script when I’m pretty sure that was the first time an automaton dog was mentioned. Your revised critique seems pretty fair.
    
    Whether the meaning they’re getting across is right or not would have to be decided by someone else, since I don’t know moon, but either way it could be worded a bit better.
    
    The Ban/Banned/Forbidden Doll thing is really just preference. I like Ban Doll because I think it flows better than the others and because it’s a term in the world taken as a whole, rather than a descriptor and noun to be taken in pieces. For me it really just comes down to how it feels so much more natural in speech than the others, which I think sound like they are separate and should be taken in parts to mean “dolls that are not allowed” while the single term “Ban Doll” means a doll that is made through the methods described in the show.
    
    I’m not really going to argue this any further since I actually believe that it’s entirely a matter of opinion and I know that neither of us will change the term we prefer.
    Reply
  - Hime
    
    November 7, 2013 at 4:39 pm
    
    Well in the novel and in the manga they call them Ban Dolls.
    Reply
    - Dark_Sage
      
      November 7, 2013 at 5:22 pm
      
      How so? Like it’s katakana’d or something?
      Reply
      - AzureHakua
        
        November 7, 2013 at 8:37 pm
        
        It’s katakana’d:
        バンドール = bandooru
        
        Listening to the show, they pronounce it in English, so it’s definitely terminology, but that doesn’t stop it from being “Banned Doll”.
        Reply
        
        Anon
        
        November 9, 2013 at 3:10 pm
        
        Well it’s not exactly a secret that most Japanese have about as much knowledge of proper English as most English-speakers do of Japanese. You need to make a judgement call on whether to preserve the mangled English or say what they actually meant, which isn’t always precisely clear. I think if it was up to me I’d go with Banned Doll, mostly because it took me a while realize they actually meant banned as opposed to some Japanese word just left untranslated.
        
        It does seem like it’s a word that will come up frequently though, so I wouldn’t say preserving the original word is strictly bad here, as seeing and hearing different things can be disconcerting at times. Banned Doll definitely gets the point across better though. Don’t like Forbidden Doll much at all.
        Reply
      - returnity
        
        November 8, 2013 at 4:40 am
        
        I made the choice as editor to stick with the terminology the creators chose since they decided to smear this show with English, despite the fact that some of it’s questionable (Second Last?)…
        Reply
        
        Solaristics
        
        November 8, 2013 at 5:17 am
        
        Meaning he has the 2nd worst grades in the school. Unless you meant it in a different way?
        Reply
        
        Ash
        
        November 8, 2013 at 5:50 am
        
        He’s just saying that “Second Last” isn’t a way that you’d refer to someone with the 2nd lowest grades. It’s one of the many things in the show that probably sound fine to the intended Japanese viewer base, but that sound awkward and strange to native English speakers.
        Reply
        
        Solaristics
        
        November 8, 2013 at 6:20 am
        
        Ah, I see.
        Reply
  - Pacific
    
    November 8, 2013 at 12:49 am
    
    “Ban Dolls” sounds like they’re enforcers of some bans, especially with the unique kanji veils each one sports.
    Reply
V2Blast

November 7, 2013 at 9:25 pm

It seems I’m at an impasse. FFF and Commie seem to have approximately the same number of mistakes (in different places), though some of that, at least, is probably personal preference.

Hopefully someone new comes along and creates a release that beats both.
Reply
cardslash02

November 9, 2013 at 12:59 pm

>fucking unreadable half the time

Yeah, no. Way to overexaggerate, Dark.

In fact, the only “unreadable” lines are the two lines that you posted pics of, and they certainly are “readable” for more than half the line length, when they are completely visible.

Yes, I did choose to hide those two lines part of the time to get a certain visual effect. But I made sure they were completely visible for most of the time, certainly long enough to read them. So don’t give me that bullshit.

Also in ep 5’s karaoke, I made things a bit easier to read on other lines by increasing border sizes, etc. At this point, there is no line in that kara which is “impossible to read”. Even in ep 4’s kara that was the case.

Readability is a big deal to me, too. I would never completely sacrifice readability in order to achieve a certain look – after all, what is karaoke for, other than to be read and sung along with? So, all the lines are there and made as readable as possible in accordance with the visual effect i was trying to get. It’s certainly not the most legible kara I’ve ever done, but it’s not “unreadable” either.
Reply
XiaYixuan

November 12, 2013 at 2:55 am

Please fix your quote from ‘Hold you tongue.’ to ‘Hold your tongue.’
Reply
- XiaYixuan
  
  November 12, 2013 at 2:59 am
  
  s/tongue.’ to/tongue’ to/
  Reply

Fansub Review: [FFF] Unbreakable Machine-Doll (Episode 04)

Table of Contents

Release Information

Episode details.

External links.

Visual Review

Karaoke.

Typesetting.

Other.

Script Review

Karaoke.

Main Script.

Results

16 thoughts on “Fansub Review: [FFF] Unbreakable Machine-Doll (Episode 04)”

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