Fansub Review: [DameDesuYo] Galilei Donna (Episode 06)

December 11, 2013December 11, 2013 by Dark_Sage

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

I had planned to get this out yesterday, but my “quick nap” turned into 14 hours. As for what I was doing these past two weeks? Scooby Doo marathon. You know it in your heart to be true.

Release Information

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Results

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (269 MB, 10-bit)

Japanesiness: Ha-neerifics.

English style: American English.

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/5UtxWKPa

Speed: Quick (<48 hours)

Translation style: Original TL.

External links.

Group website: http://damedesuyo.us/

IRC channel: #[email protected]

Visual Review

Karaoke.

Opening. Not sure what brought them to blue. Not that I have anything against it; shit works as a solid, standard kara for the OP.

Rating: Okay.

Ending. This doesn’t really match, but I’ll give you points for trying. Also, overalls don’t even play nice with my nipples, so I can’t imagine it’s working out nicely for Hozuki here either.

Rating: Okay+.

Typesetting.

OP typesetting. I’ll throw some bonus points into the visual grade for this, just cuz there’s not much else to critique on that front.

Other typesetting. Not sure what you want me to say; this show is light on signs.

Script Review

Main Script.

For realsies? DDY, last I checked you weren’t the group with the kids who couldn’t even hack it at community college.

Tone down the Marxism and go with what FFF had: “Everyone has an equal right to live.”

Oh god, even that’s too anti-American. Time to order from Pizza Hut and stiff the delivery guy to balance out the universe.

Dat gap.

DDY, if you wanna know what the biggest problem is with this release, it’s that the logic does not check out. This line makes no sense within the context of the show, and even self-contained, it’s wrong.

What you have here is “It’s bad to steal if you’re on the wanted list”. That’s the sentiment you’re trying to carry across. Unfortunately, that’s not really a sentiment that would be expressed in reality. Obviously, similar sentiments (like “We’re in enough trouble already”) wouldn’t be too far out there, but how you phrased it is disconcerting.

Try, “Even if we’re already on the wanted list, isn’t it still a bad idea to steal medicine?”

The verbiage you wanted was “under my control”.

FFF put it nicely with “Your role is finished.”

I’d appreciate it if you would refrain from using use steel-toed boots when you’re kicking English in the balls. Fuck, I’ve seen better writing on doctor’s notes.

“Not bad for a rich brat.”

You could color the language beyond my suggestion if this guy were a better character and this series were a better show.

Essential for what? You guys can’t just leave lines half-finished and expect your viewers to fill in the blanks. They can, and they will, but you’re giving them a worse experience in the end.

People don’t use “flashy” to describe people the way you want.

Just easy mode this with a “flashy guy” -> “weirdo” switch. Or reword “flashy” into something else you think is kawaii no desu.

wanted -> decided

Cuz, y’know, they actually fucking started following him at that point.

FFF had something similar with “We wanted to follow him.” And actually I’m not going to complain about that line in their release because it works fine in that context. “We decided to want” isn’t a sentiment that works well here.

That last line falls apart. Go with “But you know I don’t like powdered medicine.” or something. Really, anything but what you have there. “I don’t like powder” isn’t a sufficient statement.

Results

Watchability: Watchable.

Visual grade: B

Script grade: C

Overall grade: C+

DDY, you can be decent when you try. Hope to see more of this in 2014.

Just work on making sure your shit makes sense before you shove it out the door.

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24 thoughts on “Fansub Review: [DameDesuYo] Galilei Donna (Episode 06)”

begna112

December 11, 2013 at 1:14 am

Thanks for the review! Looks like word choice and phrasing is the next thing on the to-do list. Look forward to more from us in 2014. :)
Reply
shinchan

December 11, 2013 at 2:11 am

‘go with what FFF had: “Everyone has an equal right to live.”’
no that’s what they meant. It was about wealth versus poverty. >.>

Also, TIL: D_S has sensitive nipples ~
Reply
- Fuwaa
  
  December 11, 2013 at 7:11 am
  
  I haven’t watched the show so I’m not certain, but if the line referred to giving what you have to those less fortunate than yourself, then it works just fine. Otherwise, Dark Sage’s correction is much better.
  
  As an aside, what is “TIL” short for?
  Reply
  - begna112
    
    December 11, 2013 at 7:26 am
    
    “Today I Learned”
    
    And yeah its giving to the less fortunate. The whole segment of the show is about that.
    Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  December 11, 2013 at 5:03 pm
  
  If that’s the actual translation, the line still needs to be changed. There is no logical basis for saying Roberto’s parents thought everyone should have the exact same amount of wealth. Were that true, they wouldn’t be living in a fucking mansion.
  Reply
- shinchan
  
  December 11, 2013 at 5:09 pm
  
  *edit*
  
  I went back and checked the line. The word he uses（平等) is defined in my dictionary as:
  　　　　equally; evenly
  　　　　〈差別なく〉 impartially; without 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　discrimination
  
  It didn’t make it into the line, but he says “anyone” at the beginning. If it was just their right to live he wouldn’t need the word “equally”.
  Reply
AzureHakua

December 11, 2013 at 2:50 am

Not sure if the script is a good indication of their usual quality because I was a guest editor for this particular episode.

That said, I haven’t edited in almost 2 years, so I’m quite content with a passing grade.
Reply
- Godcore
  
  December 11, 2013 at 4:20 am
  
  >haven’t edited in almost 2 years
  
  What does that have to do with anything?
  Reply
  - AzureHakua
    
    December 11, 2013 at 5:08 am
    
    It has to do with the fact that my editing is probably a lot worse than when I used to edit on a weekly basis.
    
    Like getting rusty with anime conventions, fansubbing-style English, etc.
    Reply
    - Hairy
      
      December 11, 2013 at 5:10 am
      
      There’s a special style of English for fansubbing?
      Reply
      - AzureHakua
        
        December 11, 2013 at 5:37 am
        
        In the sense that I don’t use “Onee-sama” or “Senpai” normally. This fansubbing group is on the literal/very Japanesey side, so it’s somewhat different from normal English.
        Reply
    - Godcore
      
      December 11, 2013 at 7:53 am
      
      That doesn’t explain the awkward phrasing and poor word choices inherent in the script. I thought you were a native English speaker?
      Reply
      - AzureHakua
        
        December 11, 2013 at 8:28 am
        
        As a native English speaker, I don’t normally talk about taking over hospitals or following sky pirates. If I were fansubbing anime on a weekly basis, I’d come across similar situations and be able to phrase them correctly/use the right words. There are lines that don’t fall under those conditions, but whatever, I’m human and make mistakes.
        Reply
Nevreen

December 11, 2013 at 11:51 am

That “Hakuzi” in the OP should be “Hazuki.”
Reply
- begna112
  
  December 11, 2013 at 2:06 pm
  
  Yeah we noticed that ourselves. >.< I'm the Typo Knig that messed that up.
  Reply
Nevreen

December 11, 2013 at 11:57 am

Also, it’s been a while since I watched this ep, but I believe you misinterpreted this line: http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/DameDesuYo-Galilei-Donna-06-1280×720-10bit-AAC-539D4BB6.mkv_snapshot_06.40_2013.12.10_21.27.09.jpg

Isn’t she trying to say, “We’re on the wanted list, so we shouldn’t attract attention to ourselves by stealing medicine”?
Reply
- begna112
  
  December 11, 2013 at 2:15 pm
  
  I believe that is what D_S was getting at. And while I think that, as is, it literally says that, it’s definitely missing the connection between the two thoughts. Even adding “already” to the first sentence would have cleared it up. “We’re already on the wanted list.” If you are trying to stress the “draw attention to ourselves” part then I think that is implied well enough that our intelligent viewers should be able to understand.
  Reply
begna112

December 11, 2013 at 4:32 pm

Also, D_S I have to disagree on the “What a foolish dream.” comment. As far as I can tell, Roberto isn’t sleeping. Why would he be sleeping in his giant robot like that? If it were a dream then adjectives like horrible, awful or traumatic would be used, not foolish or stupid.

I feel like it was simply a memory and the “dream” /is/ a goal. Specifically his father’s dream: that “All people have the right to live equally.” Which is also correct as FFF’s line makes me think that Roberto’s dad is making an argument against abortion not for redistribution of wealth.
Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  December 11, 2013 at 5:07 pm
  
  Hm, I didn’t think of it that way. That makes sense. Updated.
  Reply
begna112

December 11, 2013 at 7:24 pm

I’m also going to take issue with the “power to squash vermin is essential” line. I can think of many situations in which one would use that construction. A few examples being “Literacy is essential!” “The ability to cook your own food is essential.” And so on. These are completely normal phrases you might hear. They imply that it is essential to living a normal or successful life and even potentially living at all. Given Roberto’s convictions of a dog eat dog world that should naturally be led by the wealthy and powerful at the expense of the poor and the sky pirate’s compliment on his fighting skills in the previous line, his response makes perfect sense. Now, if Roberto had instead been claiming that this power was essential to the wealthy and powerful, this might not be the case. But, clearly, he believes this to be essential to living at all regardless of status. In the end, this is a pretty close to literal translation and nothing was provided in the Japanese or implied elsewhere for this power to be essential to so there is nothing to specify.
Reply
- begna112
  
  December 11, 2013 at 7:35 pm
  
  In fact, I would argue that specifying anything in this line would have been called out as redundant. And it would be.
  Reply
- Dark_Sage
  
  December 12, 2013 at 9:49 am
  
  The English itself isn’t wrong. You’re right, it’s a valid sentence. My issue is that it is following up “Not bad for a guy born wealthy.” and not in an adequate way. To put it simply, it feels like you just came up with lines that might work on their own, but don’t fit in a conversation. The back-and-forth is essential for exchanges like this one.
  
  My bad for not sufficiently describing my issues with the line. Probably should have included the first line in the review.
  Reply
  - begna112
    
    December 12, 2013 at 1:41 pm
    
    Would it make more sense to you if the line had said “But of course I am, the power to squash vermin is essential!”? Because that’s how it reads in my mind. Simplified: “you’re a good fighter” -> “duh, i need to be able to squash the likes of you.”
    Reply
    - Neibs
      
      December 12, 2013 at 4:00 pm
      
      Maybe it’s just me, but it would sound a lot better if you had a verb like “have.”
      
      “Having the power to squash vermin is essential” or some such.
      Reply