Fansub Review: [Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero (Episode 02)

by

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

Twitter    


Will Urobutcher save this mediocre military drama from itself? All signs point to no. Give it up; the hacker’s a hack.

Table of Contents

Release Information

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Results

 

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (365 MB, 10-bit)

Japanesiness: No honorifics.

English style: American English.

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/RF7VCzNd

Speed: Quick (<48 hours)

Translation style: Original TL.

 

External links.

Group website: http://watashi.biz/ | http://vividsubs.github.io/

IRC channel: #[email protected] | #[email protected]

 

 

Visual Review

Karaoke.

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_01.38_[2014.07.13_10.46.47] [Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_01.56_[2014.07.13_10.47.12]

Opening. This is the kinda OP that the KFXer throws in as a “placeholder, cuz we totes need to get the release out the door you guys” that never ends up getting the upgrade it was promised.

The kara works, sure, but it inspires no emotion. It’s just a forgettable way to display a translation.

Rating: Okay-.

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_04.55_[2014.07.13_10.55.22]

The insert song was untranslated.

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_22.15_[2014.07.13_11.19.37] [Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_22.53_[2014.07.13_11.21.17]

Ending. The kara may be rather simple, but it still manages to stand out. The strong color choice definitely makes the text visible above the pretty ED itself.

Rating: Good.

 

 

Typesetting.

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_00.02_[2014.07.13_10.44.57]

The majority of the signs in this release were already taken care of by Japan.

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_06.05_[2014.07.13_11.01.54]

For the one sign that Japan didn’t give us subs for, Vivid-Watashi worked it in well enough that you’d be forgiven for assuming it was another official effort.

 

 

 

 

Script Review

Karaoke.

ED.

I separated the lines out so you can see each “complete thought”.

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_22.56_[2014.07.13_15.01.38]

Yeah, it’s pure gibberish.

Both the beginning
and the end
see the changing of light

Back when I decided
that I would stop fooling myself and others,
all I did was pile lie upon lie,
with no chance to be comfortable with myself

Shine on Earth

Count again

The sign of twelve in the morning

Lie and die

Under the sunlight,
just from that,
everything goes mad

Even though I vainly seek answers
from that kind of nameless place,
I won’t throw away my soul
as it is carried on the wind

These are my first tears

I don’t need expectations or an end to the darkness

When all goes back to zero,
I walk barefoot, and with courage

Maybe you should have found a TL that knows both English and Japanese, guys. I don’t think this one knew either.

 

Main Script.

Technicalities are always hard to judge in military dramas, but dialogue… dialogue never changes.

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_02.52_[2014.07.13_13.55.21]

Two cables, each with a severed link. See where I’m going with this?

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_03.30_[2014.07.13_13.56.36]

This would read a lot better in English.

“The vanguard’s Silver Platoon seems to have made enemy contact.”

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_04.02_[2014.07.13_10.53.55] [Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_04.03_[2014.07.13_10.53.59]

From cavemen to God in a second. This guy’s language is all over the place. Try to make it fit together, V-W.

“You ignorant heathens.”

“Prostrate yourselves before God’s authority.”

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_05.05_[2014.07.13_10.58.54] [Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_05.08_[2014.07.13_10.59.00]

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_05.11_[2014.07.13_11.54.35]

Unless you have a valid reason, dull repetition should be avoided. Try some fucking imagery.

“We’re like bugs to them…

…just waiting to be crushed.”

This release is held back quite a bit by the staid dialogue.

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_06.03_[2014.07.13_14.00.02]

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_06.05_[2014.07.13_11.01.54]

It’s just called the “Vers Empire”, right? So why even put in the “Martian” bit? We already know they’re from Mars. And capitalize shit properly.

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_06.26_[2014.07.13_11.02.34] [Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_06.28_[2014.07.13_11.02.40] [Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_06.31_[2014.07.13_11.02.47]

Respond? That’s a loaded word here. It can either mean “react accordingly” or “come up and talk to us”, depending on how you read it. Based off Crunchy’s script, it looks like the latter’s the way to go.

For clarity, go with something like “If you have yet to vacate, please contact us for assistance.”

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_09.46_[2014.07.13_15.08.28] [Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_12.09_[2014.07.13_15.08.13]

I half expect that by next episode they’ll be calling him Count Crusty-o.

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_10.39_[2014.07.13_11.07.27]

Throw in an indefinite article here. Let’s not make this another “Cat can talk!” situation, V-W.

“A KG-7 Areion!”

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_12.34_[2014.07.13_14.49.59] [Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_12.37_[2014.07.13_14.50.05] [Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_12.41_[2014.07.13_14.49.33]

I thought you guys were checking the official subs as TLC. Maybe you should have just done an edit instead.

“Like you saw anything back then, you fraud.”

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_17.15_[2014.07.13_14.56.53]

“That takes care of the trash.”

It’s supposed to go in the bin, not your subs, V-W.

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_19.35_[2014.07.13_11.16.49]

Haha, no. Just cuz his collar’s red doesn’t make him a redneck.

“Damned vermin!”

[Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_21.35_[2014.07.13_15.00.50] [Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero - 02 [FBC05FD6].mkv_snapshot_21.40_[2014.07.13_15.00.58]

Y’all need to read the Gospel of Ellipsis. It’ll help you in these troubled times.

 

 

 

Results

Watchability: Watchable.

Visual grade: B

Script grade: B-

Overall grade: B-

Your only real choices for this show are these guys or HorribleSubs. Guess we’ll see which prevails with the next review. Place bets now.

Back to top

26 thoughts on “Fansub Review: [Vivid-Watashi] Aldnoah Zero (Episode 02)”

  1. > “A KG-7 Areion!”

    i think skipping the article here helps readability — having additional ‘A’ at the beginning, just before the next capital letters could make this confusing (at least for me it definitely would be confusing at first glance)

    Reply

    • Good point. Using articles alongside capitalized words and acronyms is just too darn confusing. We’ll have to add that one to the grammar books.

      Reply

  4. To be fair, Sage, Gen isn’t writing this show at all. The first 3 episodes are only -supervised- by the butcher, while Takayama Katsuhiko is the man at the helm; and once the 3rd episode ends, Urobuchi’s involvement in the show is over.

    Now, I do happen to be fond of Urobuchi for his attention to detail, despite him being a man that sticks to his (heavily recycled) tropes until the bitter end. However, Takayama… definitely not for me. And I’m not saying this (just) because of his involvement in the Pico trilogy, but (also) because his writing style and ideas don’t appeal to me at all. I’ve seen a few shows where he’s a writer, and they all disappoint me.

    Reply

  6. “We’re like bugs to them…
    …just waiting to be crushed.”

    I don’t agree with this. I’m not a fan of inaccurate or incorrect translations.

    Reply

    • Seriously. Making stupid shit up in the name of “imagery” turns translations into edit jobs. Reviewers should not be encouraging this.

      Reply

      • If we’re being technical here, it’s not just “making stupid shit up”. The literal translation of that second line would be something like “just like bugs…”. One essence that most bugs have in common is that they’re easily obliterated by us, and thus seem to be waiting to be crushed if we so choose (which is the fate every mosquito I meet meets). So in that sense, it’s not so much of a stretch, and significantly more enthralling.

        Reply

Leave a Comment