Translation Review (Pass/Fail): [Hatsuyuki] Sword Art Online II – 03

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This post was written by kokujin-kun. He is not Dark_Sage.


Great, another bishoujo with issues.

Table of Contents

Release Information

Translation

Other Observations

Final Grade

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (208MB, 10-bit)

Translation: CR Edit

Wap Level: Full Wap

English style: American English.

Speed: Slow (>48 hours)

 

External links.

Group website: http://hatsuyuki-fansubs.com

IRC channel: #[email protected]

 

Translation

Since this is a Crunchy edit, this will be graded on a pass/fail basis. If the release contains any additional errors, even one, it will receive a Fail. If it doesn’t contain any added errors, it passes. If it improves the script, it passes with flying colors.

 

Karaoke.

[Hatsuyuki]_Sword_Art_Online_II_-_03_[1280x720][BE833E70].mkv_snapshot_00.28_[2014.08.01_12.16.51]

OP. While pretty much every other group had something about “shooting a world” for this lyric, Hatsuyuki had… this.

[Hatsuyuki]_Sword_Art_Online_II_-_03_[1280x720][BE833E70].mkv_snapshot_22.32_[2014.08.01_15.00.36]

ED. It was fine, though I’d probably prefer something along the lines of “I can’t show anybody” for this lyric.

Main Script.

[Hatsuyuki]_Sword_Art_Online_II_-_03_[1280x720][BE833E70].mkv_snapshot_03.14_[2014.08.01_12.25.41]

I wonder if this “Aniki” guy isn’t actually a gang leader.

[Hatsuyuki]_Sword_Art_Online_II_-_03_[1280x720][BE833E70].mkv_snapshot_05.50_[2014.08.01_12.30.43]

The kanji used here was 撃ち倒し which unlike 打ち倒し (“defeat, beat”) means “to shoot and bring down.”  I would think that the fact she’s able to think about shooting someone (in a game) represents some kind of progress.

[Hatsuyuki]_Sword_Art_Online_II_-_03_[1280x720][BE833E70].mkv_snapshot_06.49_[2014.08.01_12.35.55]

How do you take a correspondence course at a learning center? She’s saying he’s taking something similar to GED courses at the cram school.

[Hatsuyuki]_Sword_Art_Online_II_-_03_[1280x720][BE833E70].mkv_snapshot_09.55_[2014.08.01_12.42.08]

“…before I was two.”

[Hatsuyuki]_Sword_Art_Online_II_-_03_[1280x720][BE833E70].mkv_snapshot_14.45_[2014.08.01_12.51.37]

Way to translate the hospital’s name (“Central Metropolitan Hospital”).

 

…okay, okay, this one was actually done by the studio.

[Hatsuyuki]_Sword_Art_Online_II_-_03_[1280x720][BE833E70].mkv_snapshot_19.13_[2014.08.01_16.38.14]

She’s talking to her grandfather, whose home she will return to in the winter since she has left that home in order to go to school in Tokyo.

[Hatsuyuki]_Sword_Art_Online_II_-_03_[1280x720][BE833E70].mkv_snapshot_20.10_[2014.08.01_14.50.12]

This was said in the past tense.

 

Other Observations

[Hatsuyuki]_Sword_Art_Online_II_-_03_[1280x720][BE833E70].mkv_snapshot_04.49_[2014.08.01_12.28.04][Hatsuyuki]_Sword_Art_Online_II_-_03_[1280x720][BE833E70].mkv_snapshot_08.38_[2014.08.01_12.40.40][Hatsuyuki]_Sword_Art_Online_II_-_03_[1280x720][BE833E70].mkv_snapshot_15.29_[2014.08.01_12.55.18]

The timing, it needs fixing.

[Hatsuyuki]_Sword_Art_Online_II_-_03_[1280x720][BE833E70].mkv_snapshot_14.52_[2014.08.01_12.52.16]

There are at least three things wrong with this line. Try to find them all in five seconds.

 

Final Grade: Fail

This release contained lines that were taken from the original crunchyscript and were inexplicably made worse by Hatsuyuki. That is all.

 

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18 thoughts on “Translation Review (Pass/Fail): [Hatsuyuki] Sword Art Online II – 03”

  1. >This release contained lines that were taken from the original crunchyscript and were inexplicably made worse by Hatsuyuki.

    Can’t be helped, than.

    Reply

  3. While the release definitely would be a fail, I can’t help but feel like this review is a little misleading; of the main script screenshots you posted, only the “high school correspondence course” and “If it’s a request” lines were mistakes not already present in Crunchy’s script.

    Reply

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