If English were a black person, this release would be considered a hate crime.

Okay, hold up. Before we get this review started, I need to address something that’s recently been on my mind (and yours, I’m sure). Namely, how extremely cute Kitora is.

Exhibit A:

I mean, how fucking delicious can Japan make someone? With this sheer concentration of kawaii, they must have stolen it from some canceled KyoAni project or something (RIP Haruhi). She’s unnaturally attractive, and unfairly so.

Hell, I don’t care what your sexual preference is, if you don’t hngh here you probably don’t have a pulse. And the next scene?

Goddamn. Japan needs to learn some serious restraint. I could hardly fault someone for deciding to spend a couple weeks rubbing their genitals raw to this in lieu of writing fansub reviews.

Thus, in the interest of preventing further crotch sushi, I must ask one thing:

…Okay, review time now.

 

 

Table of Contents

Best Girl

Release Information

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Results

 

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (315 MB, 8-bit), LQ MKV (144 MB, 8-bit), 1080p MKV (530 MB, 8-bit)

Japanesiness: Western name order.

English style: Vizglish.

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/5kW5ZHCc

Speed: Quick (<48 hours)

Translation style: Lowest bidder wins.

 

 

 

Visual Review

Karaoke.

Opening. While this is better than the quality of karaoke you’ll see from a lot of fansub groups these days, it still sucks. But I at least appreciate them trying.

Rating: If the professionals try any harder they may just catch up to 2002 sometime this century.

 

 

No ED this episode, so have some nightcore instead.

Rating: Yes, this post gets even better. Goddamn, am I great.

 

 

Typesetting.

No need to waste a click. It’s all official typesetting, which means it’s officially ass.

 

 

Other.

They have the Toei logo at the start. Why does this matter? Cuz it kills 15 seconds of your time.

Sure, you PC kids with your fancy mice and oculus rifts won’t have any problems, but if you like your anime on mobile cuz it’s fucking wintry outside of bed, you’re pretty much locked down at this point.

The image quality in this release makes it feel like you’re playing rochambeau for 24 minutes straight.

The timing is straight-up broken throughout. Don’t worry; it’s only distracting if you aren’t blind.

 

 

 

Script Review

Standards.

As you go through this post, you’re going to notice a lot of things that are… different from what you’re used to. Unattached/italicized honorifics, weird romanizations, stupid line spacing, etc. etc.

Since talking about that shit in this review would… bloat it to unnecessary levels, I’m writing an addendum post where you can see me bitch about just why italicizing “foreign” words takes seriously scrambled cojones.

Until then, you’re just gonna have to ganbarre your best through this.

 

 

Main Script.

has -> have

Off to a good start.

I’ve mentioned this before, but goddamn do I need to start doing Let’s Watch videos for badsubs. Not only because you deserve to see my beautiful face, but because tables do get flipped when I come across lines like this.

Presumably you get why this line sucks, but in case you’re stupid, I’ll save you the embarrassment in the comments field — even non-standard, casual narration wouldn’t start a line out with “Next day,”. “The next day,” is pretty much your only means of easy salvation.

A full re-write would be better, of course, but that applies to the entire script.

All right, let’s illuminati the fuck out of this line to find the mistake.

“passed” is a homonym for “past”

“seemed” is in the past tense

“has”, however, is improperly in the present tense— Oh cool, found the error.

Look, I get that you’ve probably come across a lot of lines like this in anime, where you go “Eh, it makes sense, I guess.” and move on with your life. Which is fine… for isolated incidents.

But realize that nearly every line is awkwardly — and inefficiently — worded like this throughout the release. It starts to wear thinner than a reused condom.

If… what? How the fuck does something like this get greenlit in a “professional” release?

You don’t need to understand much English to realize this makes no sense… or to work at Viz, apparently.

You don’t “fulfill” reasons. You’re looking for “purpose” or — if you have bad taste in video games — “foci” here.

I want to think the TL meant to write “permission slip” here, because that would make the line fantastic. But based on what I’ve seen in the rest of this syntax-abortion stew, they probably think the line is perfect as-is.

“repudiating”? That sounds even more forced than consummating a child marriage.

I get the appeal, but try to avoid putting words in her mouth. Well, unless one of those words happens to be “Dark_Sage”.

Counting the OP, we are just over six minutes into a 24-minute release, and it only gets worse.

But rather than drain your hope in humanity any further than these subs already have, I’m just gonna move on.

…

Well, okay, have just a few more.

But now we’re done. I promise!

 

 

 

 

Results

Watchability: Not really watchable, but you don’t have a choice. These are the only subs for the show.

Visual grade: F

Script grade: F

Overall grade: F

This release is disgustingly unprofessional, and an insult to Viz’s fans (however many of the retards are left).

Shit like this almost makes me wish Ayako or Hadena were back, because even though they’d have far more grammatical and spelling errors, at least they’d be unintentionally entertaining about it. For this release, the only smile it ever got out of me was when I was re-reading this brilliant review. Sure, it worked for this episode, but for the other ~12? Eh. Sorry, Viz, but you can’t coast on Dark_Sage forever.

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