Spring 2015 Anime Preview, Part 1: This season won’t make anime relevant again either.

Apparently the season is going to air in… like, yesterday, so enjoy the result of fevered, deadline writing.

Part 1: New series, airing this weekend

Part 2: Sequels/shorts

Part 3: New series, airing after this weekend

 

Shokugeki no Souma

Animation Production: J.C. Staff

Airing: 4/4

Manga: The scanlations are so awful, I’d just pretend there was no manga.

Light Novel: N/A

I’m hype. puddi and Rekyu tried to dampen my spirits by telling me that no matter how many cute girls there are, it’s still done by J.C. Staff. Well joke’s on you guys; I actually liked Witch Craft Works. The hype remains.

 

 

Dungeon ni Deai wo Motomeru no wa Machigatteiru no Darou ka? (Bog Standard Mediocrity)

Animation Production: J.C. Staff

Airing: 4/4

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/243963/dungeon-ni-deai-wo-motomeru-no-wa-machigatteiru-darou-ka_v1_ch1–hq-_by_dragon-and-griffin-scans

Light Novel: N/A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00c5OhOKb6A

I suppose it’s worth mentioning that I did read 30 chapters of this piece of shit, trying to see if there was anything salvageable, and came up as empty as a mastectomy patient’s milk sacks.

Of course the MC’s strongest ability is his strength of spirit. Of course every cute girl ends up falling in love with him. And of course every shitbag who thought Log Horizon was enjoyable will praise this as the most original anime to ever come out of Japan since whatever the lowest common denominator on reddit told them was good last season.

I hate Dungeon for representing the worst of the anime fandom and the inevitable success that comes from picking up discarded targets that others hit and claiming them as your own. Nothing in Dungeon is unique, nothing is interesting, and nothing matters about it.

Do yourself and the community a favor and instead of this, pick up something that shows even the most minute amount of ambition this season (if that even exists — if not, watch Shigofumi). Humanity is better than this.

 

 

Kyoukai no Rinne

Animation Production: Brain’s Base (AKA worst production company ever)

Airing: 4/4

Manga: http://bato.to/comic/_/comics/rin-ne-r3620 | Note that this link only has the latest chapters available. But since it’s by Rumiko Takashi, you can be pretty confident she’s just been recycling the same material, volume by volume, so it won’t matter when you pick it up.

Light Novel: N/A

Look, I like nostalgia as much as anyone, but it’s 2015. Nobody cares about Inu-Yasha except for that creepy chick from anime club who’s way into animals. Why the fuck is Japan forcing this on us now?

No, it’s “not Inu-Yasha”, but really it totally is. Maybe watch this if you want to hate the old you even more than you do now.

 

 

Owari no Seraph (Seraph of the End)

Animation Production: Wit Studio

Airing: 4/4

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/142374/owari-no-seraph_v1_ch1_by_fallen-syndicate/2

Light Novel: N/A

There are no consequences in Owari no Seraph. While that may work for a slice of life comedy, a series that bills itself as “Attack on Titan but with vampires” is crippled by it. Every risky situation that the protagonists (and even antagonists) are placed in has no meaning. Why should we care about the fates of the characters when it’s clearly established that the worst that will happen in a “grimdark, post-apocalyptic Japan” is that someone may experience a minor inconvenience every now and then?

Each time the manga acts like it’s going to do something interesting, it pulls the “come to your senses!” trick to keep the characters from having to make any real decisions. Three friends go into a dungeon and one irreversibly turns into a demon? Hug it out. Naruto-lite and Sasuke-lite meet on the battlefield in fatal combat? Hug it out. Eren-lite goes Titan mode?

Owari’s easy to read, and presumably easy to watch, but there’s no point to it. Move on with your life and forget that you ever considered including this in it.

 

 

Denpa Kyoushi

Animation Production: A-1 Pictures

Airing: 4/4

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/59118/denpa-kyoushi_ch1_by_s2scans/2

Light Novel: N/A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7Oq2TzigbU

The premise is tantalizing — a genius anime blogger goes back to high school and hits on aspiring seiyuu. Unfortunately, Japan can’t build on that foundation and instead goes the route of “Hey, let’s make this like GTO but with the teacher being an otaku instead.” Super original.

This is Outbreak Company without the execution or soul needed to make something interesting when you look past who it’s trying to pander to. I cannot recommend you watch this, no matter how much you want to (self-)insert into the characters.

 

 

Gunslinger Stratos

Animation Production: A-1 Pictures

Airing: 4/4

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNV9XRnmJHs

Will watch it for Olga. (NSFW)

 

 

Plastic Memories

Animation Production: Doga Kobo

Airing: 4/5

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fk4va8AqNc

This sequel to Plastic Little completely ruins everything the original was going for. From epic sci-fi adventure that was the primary inspiration for the critically acclaimed Legend of the Galactic Heroes to this… moe-filled, tryhard romance bullshit set in fucking hugglesville? No, this is not acceptable. Try again, Japan.

 

 

Kekkai Sensen (Blood Blockade Battlefront)

Animation Production: BONES

Airing: 4/5

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/152286/kekkai-sensen-mafuugai-kessha_ch1_by_jammer

Light Novel: N/A

If that art style looks familiar, you’re wrong, but Kekkai Sensen was created by Yasuhiro Nightow, the guy behind Trigun. Now it’s time to ask yourself why you haven’t heard of this series before. Has Japan been desperately trying to keep this secret from you, hiding this epic tale penned by the mastermind behind Trigun, in an attempt to keep us dirty Westerners down? Or perhaps is it the case that Trigun was never even good in the first place, and the only reason you like it is because it’s one of the first animes you saw?

 

 

Arslan Senki

Animation Production: LIDEN FILMS, SANZIGEN Animation Studio

Airing: 4/5

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/278823/arslan-senki-arakawa-hiromu_v1_ch1_by_sphere-scans

Light Novel: N/A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fERE3fcy2eU

While you may be thinking “Oh, this is by the chick who did FullMetal Alchemist,” you should really be thinking “Oh, this is by the chick that did the unenjoyable mind-rot known as Hero Tales and Silver Spoon”. Arslan is slow. And for a series that opens up with a large-scale battle that decimates the princely protagonist’s (dad’s) army, slow is not exactly the pace you’re looking for.

Expect Akatasuki no Yona, but more firmly up its own ass and with no means of escaping from this. Avoid, unless you’re boring enough to have actually liked Silver Spoon.

 

 

Show By Rock!!

Animation Production: BONES

Airing: 4/5

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

I don’t care how bad it’s going to be — have you seen how cute those girls are? All in; I’m rearranging my schedule for this.

I take it back.

 

 

Next up: Part 2, Sequels/Shorts

Up later: Part 3, The Rest of the New Stuff