I didn’t think I had to write this article. But then a Wild Turkey dropped by for a visit, and, well… here we are.

First off, let me define “best girl” to the casuals who stumbled onto this site from parts lesser: a best girl is the best girl in a particular show or series. In this case, we’re talking about Dungeon wo Mitai o Naritai no Desu Yuki-chan, or DanMachi for short. It’s the best anime of Spring 2015, which you can tell because it’s the most popular.

Since some of you aren’t cool enough to watch a couple episodes just to understand the post, here are the girls we’re working with as of episode 2:

 

Alternate Options

Random girl that reminds me why I made Fran my party leader in FFXII

Far right, ofc. The more belts the better.

 

Hestia

All you need to know is that tumblr likes her.

I mean, she probably smells good. Like really good.

…

…

…

But again, tumblr. Pass.

 

The Twins

Normally I’d be arguing these two are best, but I don’t remember them from the manga and I’ve already written most of the post, so…

 

Wall Flower

The best I can give her is 5 points for the sideboob. But as far as character goes, she’s just Asuna with a wash-erase face.

Yeah I went there. Gotta have pretty shit taste to be into mannequins.

 

Eina/Syr

It’s kind of a spoiler, but these are the same character. Sorry to you weirdos who actually care about plot twists. It’s the journey you should care about, not the destination!

 

A and B

Okay, they’re cute, but whatever. I’m losing my muse here. The real goddess we’re all here for is…

 

 

Loki

Loki is just.

This onee-san’s basically Ned Stark in a bundle of pure cuddle. It doesn’t matter whether it’s her own crew or someone else — the verdict is fair.

But what puts her above Ned is that while he’s willing to get his hands dirty, she’s way too fucking lazy for that shit. And can you think of a better aphrodisiac than apathy? I mean, I could, but that sounds like effort.

 

She has the strongest head game

She’ll take on anyone.

 

Her top-tier outfit choice comes naturally

Ask Rekyu — she wears the same pants I do.

 

Pettan Pettan Tsurupettan~

Normally I’m inclined to say the bigger the better, but that’s just because I value laziness, and if you can breast your way to success, that’s great.

But I’m gonna take one from the pedos’ book here and say the flatter the chest, the closer to a girl’s heart. And not just cuz it fits my agenda.

…but it does fit my agenda.

 

Then there’s this

Are you even kidding me right now? Yes. Hashtag yes, even.

 

 

tl;dr:

It’s only 10:00, and I just downed a couple more shots and a Monster. Celebrate best girl with more of my literary brilliance tonight. There’s no one better than me, and you love me because I know it. Bottoms up, baby.