I waited too long for the standard, so here’s this season’s preview formula: I recap my 01 thoughts, throw in some info you could find on MAL, then tell ya whether it’ll be worth watching or not. Simple, yeah? Maybe even good, if not as.

 

Ranking System

Bad – Meh – Okay – Good – Great

If this ranking system is still too complicated for some of you out there, I’m afraid you’re piss outta luck, cuz I can’t dumb it down any further.

 

 

The Rankings – Part 1

Berserk – Good

Manga: http://www.mymanga.me/manga/Berserk/1/1

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: GEMBA | Millepensee

Cheap CG and low-effort… everything makes this non-recommendable for fresh blood. But if you have more than a passing understanding of the source material, you’ll find yourself properly engaged while watching, as you can supplement what the show leaves unsaid with your knowledge of its lore.

I mean for all the cost-cutting, it’s still Berserk, and there’s enough murder, torture, and rape to make this a thematically faithful adaptation. And really, isn’t that all we ever wanted?

 

 

Love Live! Sunshine!! – Okay

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Sunrise

The cheap Love Live spin-off has landed, and… well good luck making lightning strike twice when you’re following a formula so bland and lifeless. I watched it a few hours ago and even now I can’t remember a single character’s name. Off to a great start here.

 

 

Tales of Zestiria the X – Good (so far)

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: ufotable

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9PJGxaXBpA

The prologue is insane and absolutely ranks alongside the Tales of Zestiria movie. Creating new, meaningful characters, then killing them off… filling in plot holes… developing notable character motivations that serve to retrospectively improve the quality of the source material… Kudos to the team in charge. While not that difficult a target to hit, the show is already better than the game.

My issue with this series is going to be that there’s only so much Zestiria they can fix before they run into the problem of having to remain even somewhat faithful to the video game. From having thrown 50 hours away on it, I am more aware than most the problems inherent in adapting the basic plot of Zestiria. So however the good the prologue was, I’m going to have to warn everyone we’re about to deal with Native American Mr. Rogers’s attempts to rid the world of all evil because only he has the power to do so. And the supporting cast is gonna be even more lifeless than even King fucking Friday.

 

 

Orange – Good

Manga: http://www.mymanga.me/manga/Orange_TAKANO_Ichigo/1/2

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Telecom Animation Film | TMS Entertainment

>MC-kun is a 26-year-old girl

YES

>…in the future, but this story takes place 10 years in the past, when she’s a high schooler

Fuck!

Orange is good in spite of itself. Pretty standard shoujo, though, and I don’t really expect it to do anything particularly of note. Should end up a solid 8-9/10, but nothing to particularly remember when all is said and done.

 

 

Regalia – The Three Sacred Stars – Bad

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Actas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoG-tozqBdQ

“What is this?”

“Why are these characters so awful?”

“Why am I even reviewing anime right now?”

“This isn’t what I fucking signed up for, but my apathy has me straight backed into a corner and now I’m reviewing a show that has prissy lesbians buying expensive coffee and summoning giant caped robots?”

“Is it Japan’s fault they can’t live up to that premise, or is it mine for my inability to write poorly?”

Credit due to Regalia for making me have a Kotaku-style existential crisis. Well, except mine can’t be simply solved by getting a real job, since I already have one. Life is suffering for people who don’t suck at it. ;_;

 

 

Ozmafia!! – Meh

Manga: http://bato.to/reader#1a615ba9b0ed816c_4

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Creators in Pack

This is a short only notable for having an old Christian rock song as its ED. I don’t know why either.

 

 

Taboo Tattoo – Okay

Manga: http://bato.to/reader#9bce30ba585044f9_3

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: J.C. Staff

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tylmY-flQ78

This show’s retarded as trigger warnings, but it opens with a dude getting iced, and it’s high middle school edgy, so fuck it, I’m in.

 

 

Fudanshi Koukou Seikatsu – Okay

Manga: http://bato.to/reader#f6704f1a530389ed

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: EMT Squared

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6uM8TJwfTQ

Another short, this show’s about a straight guy who buys BL because… fuck you, he does what he wants. And his friend gets sexually assaulted a lot, I guess. Whatever, I was sold at “straight faggot”.

 

 

ReLIFE – Meh

Manga: http://bato.to/reader#661f80f725e09f8f

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: TMS Entertainment

>MC-kun is a 27-year-old guy

YES

>who finds himself back in high school thanks to a crazy youth-enabling drug

Fuck!

I guess the main interesting thing about the show is it’s already been released as a batch. So you can finish it in a few hours instead of dropping it straight up if you’re so inclined.

And honestly, I ain’t got much else going on tonight, so I’m thinking of just drinking more Jerry’s & Coke and marathoning this show, with frequent breaks to masturbate to weird hentai, of course. If I don’t pass out due to boredom, maybe you’ll have a review in the morning~ (Note: I will 100% pass out due to boredom.)

 

 

Next up:

I dunno, I just downloaded a bunch of shows and have been sort of arbitrarily jumping between them. If you want something previewed first, lemme know. Otherwise it’s gonna be whatever I happen to double-click first. …I wouldn’t trust my luck either.