With this, I have met my quota of one post per year. Catch you 2019, when I review second-hand onaholes from the C95 swap meet.

 

The Rankings – Part 1

As always, don’t expect me to bother talking about any of the S2’s we’re getting. If you’ve seen the first season, you already know whether you’ll like the sequel. And if you know you’ll like something, why bother watching it? Life is too short for such suicidal complacency. That’s why you’ve got me, babe. <3

 

 

IDOLiSH7 – Blehish

tl;dr: Faceless boys for fat girls.

Manga/Light Novel: http://idolish-seven.tumblr.com/printedtranslations

Animation Production: TROYCA

Officialsubs: Crunchyroll (the first two episodes are out)

More bland than bad, Idolish is a carbon copy of every other idol series that’s come before it. Even if a show doesn’t have anything unique to say, it can justify its existence as long it has a passable voice. Yet neither the show nor its boring idolboys can even manage that.

Fans of fujobait may tolerate this low-effort amalgam of mediocrity, but it’s asking too much of everyone else. Dropped, but without prejudice — it’s impossible to hate something that can’t inspire one iota of emotion.

 

 

Sora yori mo Tooi Basho – Better than expected

tl;dr: “If we make a show about the Antarctic, selling penguin plushies is gonna make us so fucking rich you don’t even know.”

Manga/Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: Madhouse

Officialsubs: Crunchyroll (the first episode is out)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF3sS2owmlk

• A show about high school girls going to Antarctica: 3/10
• A show about high school girls who want to go to Antarctica: 9+/10

I don’t quite know which this show will end up being, but if the first episode is any indication, I’ll like it either way. Guess I’m just a sucker for heart-wrenching speeches done over quietly catchy music.

Script spoilers:

 

 

Ramen Daisuki Koizumi-san – Daisugoi

tl;dr: Quality.

Manga: https://bato.to/reader#9b2118f4bb26262c

Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: AXsiZ | Studio Gokumi

Officialsubs: Crunchyroll

“Koizumi is a mysterious and attractive high school student. But what most people don’t know about her is that she’s an alcoholic.”

Say no more. Fucking sold.

 

 

Yuru Camp△ – Tr△sh

tl;dr: Girls doing nothing in nature.

Manga: https://bato.to/reader#f09d8824ce5f0814

Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: C-Station

Officialsubs: Crunchyroll

I hate girls and I hate nature. No thx.

 

 

Toji no Miko – Katana Courtesans

tl;dr: No-stakes all-shoujo shounen.

Manga: https://bato.to/reader#aadae73e7a2b5f1d

Light Novel: N/A.

Officialsubs: Crunchyroll

Animation Production: Studio Gokumi

Girls slamming each other with swords is a good way to get my dick some exercise, but Japan needs to get over this idea that simply having lesbians is enough to carry a series. Here’s a short list of things the clit rubbing can’t fix:

• A stale plot
• Generic characters
• An ignorable premise
• The Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

Fuck this shit, I’m just gonna watch Black Clover, cuz even a budget Nanatsu no Taizai is better than boredom in a blender.

 

 

Citrus – Hot $ex

tl;dr: Two girls enter into a sexual relationship.

Manga: https://bato.to/reader#d2351ba6d7f7cf79

Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: Passione

Officialsubs: Crunchyroll

I could write a 100-word essay about how great Citrus is, but the fact of the matter is it has lesbians and that should be enough for anyone.

 

 

Ito Junji: Collection – A Cluster

tl;dr: A lot of edge.

Manga/Light Novel: No, I’m not listing all of them.

Animation Production: Studio DEEN

Officialsubs: Crunchyroll

If you don’t know who Junji Ito is, look up “The Enigma of Amigara Fault” and you’ll either remember a shitty meme or be introduced to a forgettably memorable short story. Expect a collection of similar-quality vignettes here.

Still, that freckled girl from the PV looks kinda hot, so maybe it’ll be worth a shot. Maybe.

 

 

Sanrio Danshi – Now I never wanna see another anime again

tl;dr: To show it’s not gay for guys to like Sanrio stuff, Sanrio made an anime about gay guys liking Sanrio stuff.

Manga/Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: Pierrot

Officialsubs: ???

Just because I drink my own cum doesn’t make me gay, Japan. Stop trying to tempt me with your saucy boys, constantly shaking their poorly defined bodies at me.

Ignoring how this show totally doesn’t threaten my sexuality, the fuck is the audience here? Do people still legit like Sanrio products? I mean, other than Avril Lavigne.

 

 

Slow Start – DOA

tl;dr: See how many unfunny jokes Japan can come up with about a girl who’s a year behind her classmates.

Manga/Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: A-1 Pictures

Officialsubs: ???

High school slice-of-life with girls that look like elementary schoolers… Where the fuck have I seen that one before?

Gimme some more Minami-ke and I’ll forgive ya, Japan. Either that or build some more jails. Ball’s in your court.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5mvscn

 

 

Pop Team Epic – Not/10

tl;dr: Bad memes.

Manga: https://bato.to/reader#fe7741cb467ca2eb

Light Novel: lol

Animation Production: Kamikaze Douga

Officialsubs: HiDive

I quit anime.

 

 

In Summary

Worth Watching:

• Sora yori mo Tooi Basho (A Place Further Than the Universe)
• Citrus

 

Probably Not Worth Watching But Maybe:

• Ito Junji: Collection
• Ramen Daisuki Koizumi-san (Ms. Koizumi Loves Ramen Noodles)

 

1000% Definitely Not Worth Watching:

• Pop Team Epic
• Slow Start
• Sanrio Danshi (Sanrio Boys)
• Toji no Miko (Katana Maidens)
• Yuru Camp△ (Laid-Back Camp△)
• IDOLiSH7