This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.
Tiddies ahoy.
Woke up this morning and was feeling a bit ambivalent about where my life was going. As everyone knows, Twitter has good opinions, so I thought I’d ask the people’s people what to do.
So here we go. Y’all like con posts? What about cum posts? Boom. Clever. In for it.
7:05 Opened my computer. Late start, cuz I was busy getting drunk.
7:06 Realized onee-san was not a tag on nhentai. Forced to search via the shotacon tag.
7:08 First try: https://nhentai.net/g/245436/
It was all right. Puffy anus is a plus, but it was way too short to get me anywhere but 2 inches in.
7:12 Second try: https://nhentai.net/g/245357/
Should’ve known what I was getting into from the album cover, but I was all about dark skin at this point in the fap game.
7:18 Let it roll: https://nhentai.net/g/244427/
You know, I was expecting a lot more from this one, gonna be honest.
7:22 Oh fuck I’ve forgotten the theme: https://nhentai.net/g/245152/
7:25-7:48 Clean up on aisle me
7:49 Realize I should put some music on so the neighbors don’t suspect I’m a virgin incel weeb.
7:50 Joke’s on you, atheists. Now that my balls have expelled half their mass across my glasses, I’m not into little boys anymore. Now I’m into little… uhh… little 1000-year-old girls. Yeah. That’s socially acceptable. Let’s go.
7:50:01 Lesgo https://nhentai.net/g/245190/
Not to be transphobic, but dickgirls ain’t my thing.
7:54 Piss in the sink and contemplate how admittedly fapping to what appear as little girls might hurt my sagely image. I mean, if cons give me a press badge after this point that would mean they’re tacitly endorsing degeneracy, right?
7:55 Okay maybe one more: https://nhentai.net/g/243252/
At this point I brought out the lotion cuz I was already bleeding. I’m old; sue me.
8:02 temporary lapse of judgment: https://nhentai.net/g/189597/
8:07 Return to the party
8:11-49 Can’t remember
8:50 Roll into some: https://nhentai.net/g/231876/
Maybe I should finish Love Live.
8:54:39: new music taimu
8:57:21 Realize if I can’t get off within the next 3-some minutes I will be ridiculed for impotency the world over
8:57:51 Hype music comes on
8:57:54 Strongly eye the guro tag
8:57:58 Come to my senses and go for some https://nhentai.net/artist/sakura-romako/
8:59 Yeah, I can do this: https://nhentai.net/g/152484/
8:59:59 Good Jesus, time to prove you don’t exist: https://nhentai.net/g/131015/
After this point I think I’ve run out of ideas for this no-effort shitpost. :(
/night, fam. And always remember: Dulce Vida isn’t worth it — the food coloring is a lie.
I fapped to this
me too
What… the… fuck.
You must be new here.
“Piss in the sink and contemplate how admittedly fapping to what appear as little girls might hurt my sagely image”
haha, don’t worry about lost causes :D
i was with you till the pissing in the sink part. then i remembered i had to pee as well so also unloaded in the sink. why cant we have urinals at home? ideal height, no mess…
https://nhentai.net/g/244427/ <— this one had me look up the artist: okyuuri. Pretty solid work, but I'm sure he (or she?) has more untranslated.
There is somethibg wrong with you. please seek help.