How to QC

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

    

What you need to be a QC:
Rudimentary understanding of English
Eyes
Enough anti-depressants to kill a horse

As quality checker, you might think that you have an easy job ahead of you. After all, this is pretty much the last step in the process* and your co-fansubbers all put a good amount of effort into the subs, right?
Boy, are you in for a surprise.

*For you newfags, the process generally goes like this: Translator->Translation Checker->Editor->Encoder->Quality Checker->Re-encode if necessary->Distribution (aka release)

See, one of the secrets of fansubbing is that everyone – EVERYONE – is a fucking moron. And they’re all so incompetent and so stupid that you wonder how they managed to survive so long without killing themselves by drinking the “magical liquid under the sink” or playing with Mr. Fuzzles, the “friendly lion at the zoo.”

Let me reiterate: no one on your team can do their damn jobs because they’re all stupid as fuck. You’ll find that the translator doesn’t even know English – he simply popped a Chinese script of the episode into Google translate and turned it in. The translation checker only got three lines into the episode before giving up and watching re-runs of Family Guy. The editor thought all he had to do was toss the script in Microsoft Word, click spellcheck, then count it as a job well done. This is to say nothing of the stupid-as-fuck timer who will time grunts and other things that aren’t in the script, while simultaneously cutting lines and making the subs harder to read than they already were. Oh, and the encoder splices in pictures of his dick into the episode every so often because he thinks he’s Tyler Durden. Class acts, all of them.

No doubt the anti-depressants won’t be enough for you, and you’ll attempt to drink yourself into oblivion, knowing full well that the combination of alcohol and anti-depressants will likely kill you in a very painful, very inglorious way. But hey, at least you won’t have to deal with those fuckwits in your fansub group anymore, right?

Now, don’t worry if you don’t think you can be a QCer. Even though I’m sure you’re ready to go after reading that, not many people can become QCs. In this current fansubbing environment, fansubbing groups have even let go of their entire QC staffs leading to a massive glut of QCs on the market and multiple groups unable to take on any more staff.

As seen above, there are a number of prestigious groups that only release quality who have decided to get rid of quality checkers in order to streamline the process and release their beautiful subtitles 30 minutes earlier than they would by having someone check to make sure they didn’t fuck up everything like usual (not that they ever would of course. Perish the thought!).

As an honest suggestion, I’d suggest going to fansub grad school (or as most people call it, “middle school”) instead of attempting to brave these unfriendly waters right now. Hell, you could even start practicing cutting your wrists, by the time you make it into a group, you’ll be more than prepared for what you’re about to experience.

Ganbatte. :)

Note: This was originally gonna be part of a massive series called “How to be a Fansubber” but I got bored halfway through. Here’s a .gif I was planning on using for the Translator section.

I likely stole the joke from somewhere, but like art is theft or something, so suck my dick. ._.