This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.
Hmm, I wonder if they’ll be able to edit better than me…
Lol, what a teaser, right? Like that’d ever happen.
OP/ED
lol, you mean “Mom”
You know, I like Sean’s recommendation when he was cutting me down. “I run to school to build up my stamina.” The “outrunning” part is unnecessary.
People aren’t usually in courts, but they are on them.
would feel nice, so I went
What the fuck is the point of “through” here?
Does this line make anyone else squirm? Egh…
is = singular
are = plural
Guess which one “bite marks” falls under?
That’s not what “trip over” means. You want “trip”. Oho, I bet you don’t believe me, though. Suck it down, nii-sans~
Sorry, but “Like making us sticky?!” isn’t quite a sentence. It has a nice lead from the previous line, so make “like” lowercase.
ball throw?
“Hey guys, let’s practice ball throw.”
“OMG ball throw is the best!”
You probably want a period instead of a comma there in the first line.
Whoopsie daisy~
There are a few ways to go about this without making it sound like shit. “Ah, it’s pretty dark now.” or “Ah, it’s become pretty dark.”
What do you mean “too”? Of course you’re tied, too. A tie inherently means both parties are tied. ._. How about “after all”?
Overall grade: B-
Beyond all these stupid, stupid errors, I think FFF’s script made more sense in some places. One example would be… in FFFpeeps’s version, they say that the’re going to bet on drinks. In Ayako-Nishishi’s, we said they were just going to have drinks afterward. Later in the episode when the green-haired girl complains about not having any money, it makes a whole lot more sense to realize that she owed them. I dunno if I was able to properly articulate that in the subs, but I think FFF made it more explicit.
If you had to archive a group based on episode 1… Yeah, it’d have to be Ayako-Nishishi’s (lol, I’m biased ofc), but despite FFF’s editing, they didn’t do a bad job. Saa~ This’ll be interesting.
>cutting me down
I was trying to build up your strength, so you wouldn’t lose through exhaustion ;)
>bus halfway through
Without the “through”, you have “rode the bus halfway”, but she didn’t; she ran for a bit, then rode for a bit, then ran the rest of the way. All in all, I think “ride the bus part way, though” works best.
>there’s bite marks
“there’re” and “there are”, though correct, are a little stilted, especially as (again) it’s one of the ditzes speaking.
>trip over whilst
Whilst? Whilst? Who the fuck actually says “whilst” out loud? This and the “got dark” line make me wonder if there’s a British influence in FFFpeeps. But even in the Commonwealth, “whilst” is just over the top (though “it’s got dark” is correct; Brits don’t say “gotten”).
>bet on drinks
I somehow got that impression from the Ayako sub too, even if it wasn’t overtly stated. Hm. I’ll have to rewatch.
I… I use whilst. ;_;
…
A teacher once bitched at me for using ‘gotten’.
I’m kinda sketchy on “gotten” myself. Better change it. o/
I like “gotten”, actually. It’s a pity the Brits are forgetting some fine old words in their own language. Brits, and Sunny’s teachers.
Dark_Sage, you’re kinda sketchy, period. >D
Sunny stinxs
>mfw
One can argue that he’s “in the court” because most tennis courts are fenced-in areas or indoors. Hence, he’s “in” the court.
Or we could avoid it completely with “at”: “Oh, there’s someone at the court already.”
Naah. Points for effort, but “on the court” is the only right answer. “In the court” only works if you mean a courtyard or courtroom.
I was FFFpeeps’ editor for this episode.
Most of these mistakes were due to the fact that I rushed through the edit before I had to go out… Although if I had known it would be another 24 hours before we released, I might have double-checked my work.
>I run to school to build up my strength so that no one can outrun me.
I think this is more a matter of personal preference. Yours is a better edit, but I wouldn’t say mine was inherently wrong.
>There’s someone in the court.
I thought the same as Krow, didn’t know I was wrong. You live and learn I guess.
>She did ride the bus halfway through, though.
Was meant to refer to the fact that “halfway through” running, she rode the bus. “She got on the bus halfway through, though.” would’ve been better.
>Oh, there’s bite marks on every ball!
Was edited from “Oh, there’s a bite mark on every ball!”, it was basically a typo because I missed the fact I hadn’t changed ‘s to ‘re.
>You don’t want to trip over whilst doing that.
“Trip over” may not be technically correct, but it’s commonly used in this way, most people would think nothing of it.
>Now form pairs and practice ball throw.
I basically didn’t know what this could be referring to(I know jack about tennis). I should have tried harder.
>Ah, it’s got pretty dark.
As Sean guessed, I am British, and I was taught that “gotten” is not a word, or at least not in Britain. FFFpeeps usually stick to American spelling and grammar(that’s the theory anyway), so I messed up on that one.
>Good call! We’re tied, too.
The “we” here refers to the group as a whole, not just their pair. The primary reason they were going to end the match by sudden death was because of the fading light, the fact they were tied was the additional reason. So to rephrase “The fact that we’re tied, is another good reason why we should end the contest by sudden death”. As you say, “after all” would’ve been better.
>OP&ED
The less said the better; I will be recommending they be re-edited by another editor.
In just my third season in fansubbing, and with no formal training in English beyond my compulsory education, I quite clearly have a long way to go.
I do feel my failings have let my group down(although QC obviously failed somewhat as well), and I am sorry for that.
I was only covering the edit for this episode, all being well, the regular editor will be doing the show from now on. I hope you may find them to be a better match than I.
meki stinx.
Now that that’s out of the way, I thought GBF did a fine job, and yes, QC should have caught most of this except >Eien.
Let’s face it, everyone makes mistakes, and I would say 85% of this review is nitpicking trivialities. This is a fansub, not a university application essay, and nobody but your middle-school English teacher would give a shit. If misplaced commas bother you in a fansub, you need to have that Ritalin prescription increased, seriously. What bothers me a lot more is gross misspellings/typos because that means nobody cared enough to do a QC pass, and of course lolwut TL.
Chihiro are the only group in the last couple of years that have consistently produced subs that have made me facepalm/cry with laughter; by and large most groups do an acceptable job, and even Chihiro has improved over time.
Don’t take my reviews to heart, yo.
Also, SubDesu and Ayako are about at Chihiro tier. :X
sup slyborg
Slyborg stinx
Also >lolwut TL
Fuck U, I always do my best ;.;
Nigger, I didn’t QC this, LuniazKun did.
You know the rule.
>Whilst? Whilst? Who the fuck actually says “whilst” out loud? This and the “got dark” line make me wonder if there’s a British influence in FFFpeeps. But even in the Commonwealth, “whilst” is just over the top (though “it’s got dark” is correct; Brits don’t say “gotten”).
Well, in the Commonwealth, we prefer present perfect tense. “Got” is just some retarded Americanism that five year olds use. As for “whilst”, I use it interchangeably with “while”. Generally speaking, I tend to use the former when I want to place emphasis on the fact that two actions are taking place concurrently.