2. I split the Party into two parts — Essential and Extended. Assuming you want to get this shit over with quickly, just go with the Essential choices. I picked these to be the most representative lines in the releases. But if you’re one of those people who want more comparisons to help you come to a decision, go with the Essential choices and the Extended ones.

3. If you didn’t like any of the lines, choose the “N/A” option. The results for “N/A” won’t be automatically tabulated, so you’ll have to do the math in your head. Have my gomens and nasais.

4. A “>” indicates that another character has begun speaking. If there are three characters in a line comparison, I will indicate the third with a “>>” and so on for more characters.

5. Group order is randomized for each screenshot, every time you refresh the page. However, the “N/A” option will always appear at the bottom of the screen.

6. Your results will be summed up when you click the “Get your results” button. Feel free to vote in the poll at the end/post in the comments to let others know how you did and to compare your results with them.

7. Party hard.

Essential 1.

Yeah, when I think of the west, I think of maid cafés.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Hyakka01.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride 01

HorribleSubs :: Oh yeah, something called
“maid cafés” are very popular right now in Japan.
You can find them in any hotel town.
Did you know that?
>Y-yeah…
To tell you the truth, I don’t know
what to think about western-influenced stuff like that…
Personally, I’m really glad that we don’t have
a shop like that in this academy.

Hatsuyuki :: Oh yeah, these things known as maid cafés are very popular in Japan right now.
Every town with a hotel has one these days.
Did you know that?
>Y-Yeah…
To tell you the truth, I’m not sure what to think about stuff of western origin like that.
Personally, I’m really glad there isn’t a shop like that in this academy.

FFF :: By the way, maid cafes are very popular now across the country.
If a town’s got an inn, it’s sure to have a maid cafe too.
Did you know that?
>Well…
I’m not sure if that kind of western influence is such a good thing, though.
I’m kinda glad this academy is still free of that.

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 2.

Kanjiplay.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Hyakka02.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride 02

HorribleSubs :: It reads “moe”. The keyword to making money.
>”Making money”?
That’s right.
It spells “true” and “shadow” and it reads “true shadow”!
Maid Café, True Shadow!

Hatsuyuki :: This says “moe”. It’s the keyword for making money.
>Making money?
That’s right.
It’s written as “true” and “shadow” and read as “true shadow”!
Maid Café, True Shadow!

FFF :: You read this character as “moe”.
It’s the keyword for making money.
>Making money?
Indeed. You write it as “Shinkage” and read it as “True Shadow”.
And as of today, the True Shadow Maid Cafe is open for business!

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 3.

It’s “Lehman Shock”. You know, named for the Lehman Brothers bankruptcy that fucked a lot of shit up. Rayman has nothing to do with it. (Well okay, maybe a little.)

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Hyakka03.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride 03

HorribleSubs :: The Leiman Shock is to blame for everything!
>”Leiman”?
That’s right! The Leiman Shock!
It’s the worldwide financial depression
triggered by the housing loan collapse.
Because of that, the stocks I had been
investing in are now worth nothing!
The pocketbook of this dojo is in really dire straits!

Hatsuyuki :: The Leiman Shock is to blame for everything!
>Leiman?
That’s right! The Leiman Shock!
The worldwide financial crisis, brought about by the collapse of the mortgage market.
Due to that, the stocks I had invested in are now worth nothing!
The dojo’s wallet is in a dire situation.

FFF :: It’s all because of the Reiman shock.
>Rei… man?
Indeed. The Reiman shock.
The financial crisis that broke out after the collapse of the mortgage bubble.
Our military funds were pretty much turned to dust!
Even the dojo’s kitchen fell victim!

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 4.

A sudden realization.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Hyakka04.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride 04

HorribleSubs :: Something isn’t right!
They wanted me to distribute fliers in such an isolated place?
That little big-forehead girl must’ve tricked me!

Hatsuyuki :: Something isn’t right!
Why would they want me to hand out fliers in such an isolated place?
That little girl with the giant forehead must’ve tricked me!

FFF :: This isn’t normal at all!
Why do I have to hand out flyers in this abandoned place?
That forehead runt tricked me!

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 5.

Stakes being raised.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Hyakka05.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride 05

HorribleSubs :: How come you guys know classified government information?
Depending on your answer
we’re not going to let you leave without consequences!

Hatsuyuki :: Why are you guys privy to classified government information?
How you answer will determine how we will deal with you.

FFF :: How do you know about the government’s secrets?
You might not leave so freely depending on how you answer.

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 6.

The last bit of each groups’ lines here refers back to a point in the episode where the main character guy is looking all around the dojo and notices someone’s missing. Turns out that someone was this chick.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Hyakka06.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride 06

HorribleSubs :: What? You brought them here?!
You gave them directions so they could challenge us?! You moron!
She’s beyond useless!
She’s a true troublemaker!
>Oh, I get it! You meant Kanetsugu when you said “troublemaker” earlier!

Hatsuyuki :: What? You brought them here?!
You gave them directions so they could challenge us?! You moron!
She’s beyond useless!
She’s a true troublemaker!
>Oh, I get it! You were referring to Kanetsugu when you were talking about the troublemaker.

FFF :: What? You brought them here?
You helped the very people who came to crush the dojo? You fool!
How useless can you get?
You’re the real danger.
>I see! So the “danger” out of house was Kanetsugu!

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 7.

Power levels being noted. No DBZ jokes. Disappointment levels over 2,000.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Hyakka07.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride 07

HorribleSubs :: What’s wrong, Hanzo?
>The numbers are…
>Their fighting stats reached Master Samurai class for a second…

Hatsuyuki :: What’s wrong, Hanzo?
>These numbers are…
>Their fighting stats were briefly on par with those of the Master Samurai class.

FFF :: What’s wrong, Hanzou?
>The numbers…
>Their stats surged to master samurai levels in a flash!

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 8.

I didn’t watch season 1, but this seems like one of those generic “overpowered character loses their power at the start of the new adventure and so has to regain it.” Seems like Yagyu’s power is channeling some chick named Jubei — maybe her ancestor?

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Hyakka08.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride 08

HorribleSubs :: Oh no…! Don’t tell me Jubei is gone!
>I didn’t think it was possible, but it really did happen at that time…

Hatsuyuki :: Oh no…! Don’t tell me Juubei is gone!
>I didn’t think it was possible, but it really did happen back then…

FFF :: No way! Juubei-san’s vanished!
>I was afraid of this. She really disappeared.

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 9.

Get it? Those four are telling the main character-chans that they’re weak.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Hyakka09.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride 09

HorribleSubs :: Do you think you can get away
with it after what you’ve done to Muneakira?!
>You haven’t played enough yet?
“Play”?

Hatsuyuki :: Do you think you can just get away with this after what you’ve done to Muneakira?
>Haven’t you played enough yet?
Played?

FFF :: Do you really think you can get away with doing this to Muneakira?
>Do you want to play some more?
Play?

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 10.

This is a very good show.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Hyakka10.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride 10

HorribleSubs :: Moe, moe, throb, throb!
>Moe, moe, throb, throb!
Be tasty!
>Be tasty!

Hatsuyuki :: Moe-moe-kyun-kyun!
>Moe-moe-kyun-kyun!
Be tasty!
>Be tasty!

FFF :: Moe-moe-kyun-kyun!
>Moe-moe-kyun-kyun!
Get yummy!
>Get yummy!

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Decision Point:

Holy fucking shit, Dark_Sage. Give me more comparisons. I fucking live for this! (Put the knife down and keep reading. We got ten more comparisons for ya.)
Oh my god, put a bullet in my head. When is this shit gonna be over with already? (You’ve seen enough for one lifetime. Head down to the results.)

Expanded 1.

Banzai Nippon, amirite?

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/EHyakka01.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride E01

HorribleSubs :: A beautiful country: Great Japan!
However, its beauty could arouse the sadistic spirit of Evil over time.
But do not worry! Do not be afraid!
In Great Japan, there are Samurai!
They’re called “Master Samurai”!

Hatsuyuki :: A country of incredible beauty: Great Japan.
However, over time, such phenomenal beauty can arouse the sadistic spirit of evil.
But do not worry! There is no need to be afraid!
For Great Japan is home to mighty Samurai!
They are known as Master Samurai!

FFF :: The beautiful land of Great Japan.
However, this very beauty is often the target of the cunning of the wicked.
But heed my words! Worry not! Fear not!
For there are samurai who watch over the land!
They are the master samurai!

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 2.

I guess this section is for people like me who skipped season 1. Thanks, Hyakka animators. It helped.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/EHyakka02.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride E02

HorribleSubs :: I’ve been on the road.
It’s been a half year since that battle.
In order to improve my power as a Master
I set out on a training journey from Oedo to Yonezawa.
To prepare for the anticipated resurrection of Shiro Amakusa
and to protect our Great Japan from that evil…

Hatsuyuki :: I’ve been on the road.
Half a year has passed since that battle.
In order to improve my power as a General,
I embarked on a training journey from Oedo to Yonezawa.
To prepare for the anticipated resurrection of Amakusa Shiro,
and to protect our Great Japan from evil…

FFF :: I’ve been on a journey.
Half a year has passed since that battle.
I’ve traveled from Oedo to Yonezawa to discipline myself and improve my skills as a General.
I must prepare for the inevitable return of Amakusa Shiro
and protect Great Japan from those with evil in their hearts.

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 3.

This guy doesn’t seem that smart.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/EHyakka03.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride E03

HorribleSubs :: If we don’t have money, we need to work together and make some!
>I know that!
>That’s why we started this maid café.
But can we do something a little more decent?

Hatsuyuki :: If we don’t have money, we’ll just need to work together to make some.
>I know that!
>That’s why we’re opening this maid café!
But how about we do something a little more respectful?

FFF :: If we don’t have any money, then we should work together to make some!
>I know.
>That’s why we opened a maid cafe.
You could’ve chosen a more respectable trade.

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 4.

Reality hits home.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/EHyakka04.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride E04

HorribleSubs :: There’s no way we can get out
of this low-budget life with legit business!
Listen. If we cancel this project, our deficit will only grow
and we’ll be forced to auction off this dojo!

Hatsuyuki :: We won’t be able to rise from the slums of poverty with legit business practices!
Listen. If we terminate this project, our deficit will grow until we’ll be forced to auction off this dojo!

FFF :: We can’t escape poverty through traditional trade!
Listen.
If we cancel this project,
our losses will skyrocket and in three months we’ll have to hand over the dojo.

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 5.

I don’t really wanna listen to the audio again, and there are lots of characters, so just assume I’m using “>” correctly for these scenes.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/EHyakka05.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride E05

HorribleSubs :: Does this look like Yagyu Dojo to you?
>Maid café…
>That girl must’ve played us for fools and tricked us!

Hatsuyuki :: Does {\i1}this {\i0}look like Yagyuu Dojo to you?
>Maid café…
>That girl must’ve played us for fools and tricked us!

FFF :: Does this look like the Yagyuu Dojo to you?
>A maid cafe.
>She pretended to know where it was and tricked us?

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 6.

Cash money Credit.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/EHyakka06.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride E06

HorribleSubs :: You take this, don’t you?
>Tha- tha- that’s the Tokugawa approved black card!
>I apologize for my mistake.
>Allow me to change it to the VIP course right away.
>Matabei, Jubei, please take care of our prey-
>I meant, our customers!

Hatsuyuki :: You accept this, don’t you?
>Th-That’s the Tokugawa approved black card!
>I apologize for our rudeness.
>Allow us to provide you with the VIP course right away.
>Matabei-san, Juubei-san, please take care of our prey—
>I mean, our customers!

FFF :: I can use this here, right?
>Th-That’s a Tokugawa authorized black card!
>Please forgive our impudence, miladies.
>We shall prepare the VIP course for you.
>Matabei-san, Juubei-san,
>please provide these goldmin? I mean, our dear guests with first-class service.

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 7.

Won’t get fooled again. …or ever.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/EHyakka07.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride E07

HorribleSubs :: She’s traveling!
She won’t return here at least for a
year until she completes her training journey!
>A year?!
>Give me a break!
>I think she just made that up!

Hatsuyuki :: She’s traveling!
She’ll be gone for at least a year while she completes a journey to hone her skills.
>A year?!
>Give me a break!
>I bet you just made that up, didn’t you?

FFF :: On a journey.
She’s on a yearlong journey to enhance her training.
>A year?! Don’t mess with me!
>You just made that up, didn’t you?

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 8.

Dat fang.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/EHyakka08.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride E08

HorribleSubs :: Just who are you?
>I’ll tell you as a pleasant memory to take to your grave!
>We are Dark Samurai, born to fight!

Hatsuyuki :: Who exactly are you?
>I’m in a pleasant mood, so I’ll tell you before sending you to your grave.
>We are Dark Samurai, born to fight!

FFF :: If even master samurai aren’t strong enough, then just who are you?
>I’ve been in a good mood since reviving, so I’ll clue you in on things.
>We’re sword wielders who were born to fight! Dark samurai!

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 9.

From this ridiculous restriction I can only assume that Yagyu x This Dude could overpower the four new enemies pretty quickly.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/EHyakka09.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride E09

HorribleSubs :: What happened to me?
What are these bruises?
>That’s going to seal away the power of the Master.
>Eventually that curse seal will become permanent on your body
>and completely take away your abilities as a Master.

Hatsuyuki :: What happened to me?
What are these markings?
>They serve to seal away your power as the General.
>That cursed seal will eventually become permanently fixed upon your body
>and completely seep away all of your abilities as a General.

FFF :: What on Earth happened to me? What are these marks?
It seals your General powers.
>That seal will eventually acclimate to your body,
>and completely erase your powers as a General.

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 10.

Yagyu’s pretty great in this scene. Well, not this part of it, but later.

Audio: [mp3t track=”http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/EHyakka10.mp3″ play=”Start audio” stop=”Pause this shit” volslider=”y”]

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Bride E10

HorribleSubs :: Don’t be so uptight!
You don’t mind as long as I come here as a customer, do you?
>Of course we do!
>Do you have any idea how much it costs me to treat this?!
>I think you got what you deserved…
>You didn’t pay for the food yesterday. Pay up if you’re a customer!
I know!

Hatsuyuki :: Don’t be so uptight!
I’m still allowed to visit as a customer, right?
>Of course you aren’t!
>Do you have any idea how massive my medical expenses were?
>I think you got what you deserved…
>You didn’t pay for your meal yesterday. If you’re a customer, pay up!
I know!

FFF :: Don’t be so tense! Can’t I come as a customer?
>No, you can’t! Do you have any idea how much the hospital costs were?!
>You only got what you deserved.
>Then I expect you to pay for the food you ate yesterday, too.
Oh, come on.

Okay seriously how have they never heard of Lehman Brothers :: N/A. They all suck.