This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.
For those of you new to Dark_Sage’s “Five Minutes of FAIL” series (all of you, because this is my first entry in the series), I will watch the first five minutes of an episode by Your Favorite Groups and savagely tear their shitty English apart.
Sometimes I’ll skip the opening if it results in more lulz (cuz it’s not really fair to diss the English in songs unless the groups REALLY fucked up).
Like I said before in this post, I fixed the first 8 lines for these kids, so the usual rule of thumb for Ayako (10 errors in the first 10 lines) doesn’t apply here.
0:39,
Undress, we have to do laundry.
Review how2clause, Ayako.
0:52
Why do I think so? That’s because my princess of a sister wouldn’t come to wake me up.
Please google “princess of a sister” and tell me what kind of results you get and what kind of people use that phrase. I don’t think I need to say more than that.
0:57
Nor would she make breakfast for me, or do the laundry for me.
Ah, where do I start? First off, you started with “Nor” so perhaps you have some semblance of when to use it. But then you follow it up with “or” in the same sentence? Why? ._.
Shittily phrased as well. Here’s how a pro would fix it: “Nor would she fix me breakfast, and she certainly wouldn’t do my laundry for me.”
Or for you kids who are like “But Estaron’s translation is the word of GOD” then I’d so something stupid like “She wouldn’t fix me breakfast or do my laundry either.”
Using “___ for me” sounds like SHIT here.
0:59
On the contrary, she treats me with such disrespect that she even looks down on me!
Oh my! Such disrespect that she even looks down on him! A textbook example from the bestseller “How to use hyperbole redundantly”
1:04
“More like she completely ignores me, so I haven’t even had to talk with her lately!”
With the context of this scene, this is not the phrase you were looking for.
“It’s more like she completely ignores me, so I haven’t even talked with her recently!”
After this, a minute passed by and I almost thought Ayako was on a roll. Well, they were rolling – right into a ditch.
2:27
She’s gets good grades and has gotten pretty, right?
Do I even need to try?
3:00
We’re starting Homeroom.
The sentence wouldn’t suck so much if it read: “Class is starting.” If you MUST have “homeroom” in there somewhere, do something like “Homeroom’s starting.” And for Allah’s sake, avoid capitalizing “homeroom.”
3:07
This is a line from the Morning of Final Farewell, a poem about his little sister, by Miyazawa Kenji.
Don’t forget to italicize the titles of poems. Also, you just called the poem “Morning of Final Farewell” before, without “the” so a non-stupid sentence would read:
“This is a line from Morning of Final Farewell, a poem by Miyazawa Kenji about his little sister.”
3:10
It means “get me some sleet, Kenji”.
Noyako. (To be fair their editor is using British English so it understandably looks like shit.)
“It means “Get me some sleet, Kenji.”
3:44
What the heck was it today, International “thank your little sister” day?
If you’re gonna call it a day, as in a holiday, you capitalize the full title. Also, shit phrasing as usual.
“What the hell was today supposed to be? International ‘Thank Your Little Sister’ Day?”
4:48
Fine then I’ll take you.
Yeah, who needs pauses with a sentence like that? Try saying that out loud without any pausing; it’s fucking hard.
To note, I could have fixed this shitty episode in an hour, but Evillinkz was on the job. AND WHAT A JOB HE DID
I’ll be working with these dipshits on MM! so look forward to me blogging about my experiences with them when the time comes.
I was on a roll, too. Rolling on the floor laughing!
i was on a roll too. t-rolling dark all day long.