As video games week continues, we find our intrepid hero, Dark_Sage, wishing for the sweet release of death. But will the whiskey give it to him, or only exacerbate the situation by dulling his already poor decision-making skills? Find out this time on “The Latter”.

 

Why even?

Shan Gui’s a VN best played when Funimation still hasn’t released the first episode of Absolute Duo, even though it’s been 20 hours since it was supposed to be simulcasted. Luckily, it’s the kinda game that only takes 30 minutes to play, so when you finish it, Funimation will have …still not released Absolute Duo. Fuck!

 

 

Technical problems

“How hard could it be to make a VN?” asked Shan Gui’s developers before booting up Visual Basic.

 

For any line with more than one layer, the words will be slightly cut off until the next layer fills in.

 

And the audio breaks… often.

Audio 1:

[mp3t track="http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/ShanGui01.mp3" play="Start audio" stop="Pause this shit" volslider="y"]

Audio 2:

[mp3t track="http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/ShanGui02.mp3" play="Start audio" stop="Pause this shit" volslider="y"]

 

 

Characters

This is MC-chan. All’s I know about her is she has massive tits and speaks in some Russian form of Chinese.

When she travels back to her homeland — a random forest in China — she becomes friends with a girl who likes to foreshadow things.

Also, she sometimes looks like ET.

 

This is Foreshadow-chan. She likes to tick fetish checkboxes so otaku will buy the game and rate it highly on Steam.

 

 

Also, they’re conveniently lesbians, which is like… really hot.

Don’t judge me! My dick is totally an LBGTQ ally!

 

 

Touching Interactions

Here’s the voice acting:

Yeah, the game prompts you to click on links to Wikipedia occasionally. Nothing more immersive than that.

But if that wasn’t rousing enough, have a charming example of the kind of conversations you’ll encounter in Shan Gui:

What, that didn’t sate your thirst for quality character interaction? Fine, have one more conversation:

Goddamn, I love the Chinese.

 

 

Verdict

This is a bad anime game.

With the $5 price tag and a 30-minute completion time, I feel like I should go to a rape counselor.

As a means of therapy, let me spoil the fucking ending.

With that, it’s game end — “Thanks for the five bucks!”

Fuck Shan Gui. With a rusty knife. …twice.