Words on a Screen

I’m more than a bit put off by this release, as whoever the translator was clearly knows their shit, and whoever was responsible for checking the translation doesn’t. At its core, this is a good script. But there’s more to a script than its core, and this does not read as a finished product.

Whether Crunchyroll put in an inexperienced editor — or simply thought the script would suffice without one — sheer incompetency ruined what I would have gladly pointed out as Crunchyroll’s continued (if shaky) dominance in the simulcast game. But whether by insufficient vetting or an inability to provide their translators with the necessary support, it’s clear Crunchyroll needs to review the basics before having truly earned the market share they’re slowly losing.

Episode details.

Release format (HorribleSubs):

• 1080p MKV (548 MB, 8-bit)
• 720p MKV (327 MB, 8-bit)
• 480p MKV (148 MB, 8-bit)

Japanesiness: Honorifics (you won’t encounter them in the show much, though).

English style: American English.

Encoding details (HorribleSubs 720p): http://pastebin.com/u1w65nxb

Speed: Simulcast.

Translation: Ruined by bad editing.

Karaoke.

This is the show Crunchyroll staked its reputation on this season and they can’t even manage translations for it? Yeah, I know it’s “expensive” to get song rights, but relevance doesn’t come cheap.

 

 

Typesetting.

 

I’m impressed, sure. Of course, this is just how the typesetting looks on my HorribleSubs rip. And because HorribleSubs is so low-effort, you’d be better served by watching Crunchyroll’s official stream, right?

Somehow, even with a five-second rip, HorribleSubs manages to provide a better experience in every possible way than Crunchyroll can. Yes, “better than Funimation” counts for something, Crunchyroll. But when you see big players like Amazon (among others) coming in, you’re going to need a stronger argument than that. You can start by actually having QC.

Main Script.

Sorry for cutting your scroll wheel in half, but I’ve got a lot to bitch about.

The show’s called Kiznaiver. Shouldn’t take a genius to figure out what the program should be called.

“Yes” doesn’t answer the question. “Well” is about the best band-aid you can use without wider edits.

In Asenshi’s review you’ll be able to see what one of those “wider edits” would look like, but for review purposes I try to avoid rewrites unless they’re necessary.

Absolute gibberish. Asenshi saves it with a not-so-cardboard “cardboard” translation and tasteful rephrasing. (Again, we’ll talk later.)

“Oh? It wasn’t meant as an insult.”

Onee-san dry wit gets me wet.

Noble? Virtuous. Bighearted. Principled. Exemplary. Moral.

Up your sarcasm game, Crunchy.

• superficial things*
• superficialities*

guys who are twisted -> assholes

I cannot believe a thinking human wrote this script.

“personal information” isn’t the kinda thing that would cause a freak-out. Can’t really come up with a fill-in word that works — even “private details” doesn’t have the right connotation. But dialogue has to match the character reactions or the disconnect turns into a flashing incompetence alert.

So here I’d just go for the cop-out “Just what the hell have you been {i}thoroughly researching{/i}?!” misunderstanding. Matches her character too.

You forgot to include this: :

Japanese dialogue may trail often, but it gets weird when you try to do the same thing in English. If there isn’t a specific reason to match the source language’s quirks, then you should focus instead on making something that works better in the target language.

Honest talk is -> Honesty is | Heart-to-hearts are

Medicine can be strong when it comes to pain, but when it comes to people, the right word to use is “tough”.

“Does the sweet smell of a girl excite you?”

“Is that something you yourself should be asking?”

chublord* (or something that a hyperactive douchebag like Tenga would say)

Give me some fucking humanity in your editing — that’s what this show is allegedly about, right?

If there were any patriotic Brits left in the UK, I’d bet this release would be banned there for what it did to the English language. Since there aren’t, you’ll just have to deal with knowing you’ve broken my kokoro, Crunchyroll. ;_;

“That’s not making me feel any better!”

not even*

He’s saying he’s not interested in others because he’s not even interested in himself, and the “even” is key here. Without that word, it comes off as some flimsy emo-kid excuse. With it, he’s acknowledging that he’s not like everyone else (the implication being that everyone is at least interested in themselves) and that he really can’t fucking help his apathy.

“It sounded more like a statement of his beliefs.”

You could also get cute with this if you wanted, à la “It sounded more like a manifesto.”

When editing a line that can’t be translated 100%, you have to ask yourself what the point of the line is. Here, it’s to show Katsuhira used to be a normal, goofy, fun-loving dope of a kid. Neither the song spoofing nor the subject of Momotaro actually matter in that respect, so in a dub I’d be fine with completely scrubbing them.

When it comes to subs, I’m for retaining as much of the original line as possible, so I’d probably compromise with something that sounds suitably less awkward than Crunchyroll’s version.

“You used to make up stupid songs about Momotaro!” <- Your typical viewer still won’t know wtf a Momotaro is, but it’s not relevant to the crux of the new line.

She’s bitching about their pseudo lovey-dovey bullshit. Yet if you aren’t looking for that meaning here, 9 times out of 10 you’ll interpret it as her whining about the pain distribution.

Asenshi had “Stop it, you’re suffocating.” which misses the opportunity for a play on words, but results in a better line overall.