Nier Automata is a game I played

.

Intro

As with every review here, if you’re using this post to inform your consumption decisions, you’re doing it wrong. If, instead, you’re here simply to validate your opinions…. Well, you’ve come to the perfect place to be disappointed with yourself.

What I’m saying is there are gonna be spoilers. And in case you’ve started, but haven’t beat it yet: if you’ve unlocked all endings/trophies besides the “Transcendent Being”/”The Minds That Emerged” trophies, you can select Yes at the Ending E credits and you’ll still get the final trophy. Couldn’t find anything on the internet about that when I searched and it frustrated me to shit. May this calm your autism as it would have mine.

 

 

Characters

9Shota is the only character given any thought or consideration by the writers, so he gets a full section to himself. But he’s also a lame emo kid whom you are literally forced to play as 80% of the goddamn game, only given depth in a fucking supplemental book available solely in the godless island-nation of Japan. Thanks, Yoko Taro! For your next trick, maybe you can cut your arms open and strangle yourself with the veins, how about that?

All in all, I’m just pissed they turned the booty goddess into a walking meat circuit sack, and left A2 with little more than a sordid combination of bad writing and a shit VA. Got nothing against Nines tbh, I’d totally let that gayboy lube my dick up with his tears.

 

 

Gameplay

As with every Yoko Taro-related game, the gameplay isn’t why you play it. Which is a euphemism for they’re all broken to shit. But this one lets you dispense with combat on Easy mode by having the game autoplay itself. So I have no concerns with the combat.

Everything else though? Yeah, it’s ass AIDS.

• RNG spawns are fucked to shit — and yes, you need rare gets if you want to unlock all the trophies
• HACKING_MODE sux
• There’s no point to exploring as anyone but 9S, and there’s no point to even exploring since you’re gonna have to use a wiki for completionism anyway
• Everything is a boring fetch quest
• Playing through the same 5-some areas for 50+ hours is tedious

Luckily, all of the above only applies when you load up on a PS4, cuz the PC port is glitched to unplayability. Every fucking time, Japan.

 

 

Story

Take Nier 1 – the cancer before it had a chance to fully metastasize. You had Gestalts (disembodied souls of humans, slowly losing their sanity) fighting Replicants (artificial bodies directly corresponding to the Gestalt souls, that have now gained sentience) in a downward spiral, chronicling humanity’s extinction at the hands of the player. And you don’t realize this until you’re too far in to properly register the “consequences” of your actions before you’ve committed them. Cool shit.

In Automata, however, we get a war of machines versus androids with the forced philosophical bullshit of “what if androids and machines were like totally similar, man?”

Maybe it’s cuz I lack the :creative genius: of Master Yoko Taro-sama, but they were all fucking robots to me in the first place, so why would I give a shit?

There’s no notable plot twists, either. The whole thing is just a saccharinely soulless retread of Nier. Which was itself just an under-cooked vomit omelet of the conclusions everyone comes to when they’ve had too much to drink and twice as much to think. Or so I’ve heard.

 

 

Final Score

Despite all my complaints, this is still the best game Yoko Taro has ever been involved in, and offers some pretty hot fap material to justify your time investment.